Why are people on Enotalone so conservative?

[FoxLocke]

I try my very best to NEVER be judgemental(being that I am gay I can relate to being judged). However, I will not disseminate sex advice to teenagers, unless it is about practicing safer sex. Yes, I know people of all ages are having sex...But I will not advise them on how to better pleasure their partners, in graphic detail. A line has to be drawn somewhere, and that does not have to make one a prude.

[blueangel]

Well, I'm glad you're ignorant of what crossing these boundaries mean. I'd rather be among the group who censors themselves because they know anyone can be easily offended or affected by anything one says.

 

If you want controversial, go to link removed, register, and include yourself in the extended discussions section. You'll find a lot more depth there and willingness to be bold.

[Luck of the Irish]

I could care less what people do in their bedrooms. Since you called us "prudes" out, I'm going to defend myself. I'm far from being a prude. I've had pre marital sex, but it was in a long term 3 year relationship, with plans for marriage.

 

You are asking why there are so many conservatives? Well here's your answer:

 

Because some people still actually have morals. Shocker ain't it?

 

Sex is a sacred thing to me, and guess what sister? There are many, many more people who feel the same way.

[Momene]

I try my very best to NEVER be judgemental(being that I am gay I can relate to being judged). However, I will not disseminate sex advice to teenagers, unless it is about practicing safer sex. Yes, I know people of all ages are having sex...But I will not advise them on how to better pleasure their partners, in graphic detail. A line has to be drawn somewhere, and that does not have to make one a prude.

 

The only sex advice I give to young teenagers is WAIT. It isn't because I'm prudish or I didn't lose my virginity until I was 20 but because most kids under 16 and a large number over 16 are just not ready to deal with the emotional consequences of sex. Having said that, once they've already started I know how difficult it is for them to stop, so I'd advise them to seek contraceptive advice immediately.

 

I don't think people who have underage sex or are promiscuous are bad people, I just don't think either are advisable.

[Rabican]

but its not like these threads are so UN-conservative... still pretty tame IMO!! just normal sex-love topics!

 

If you are looking for a more liberal forum I could perhaps send you the link to the forum that I DL porn from !! I assure you that there are much more liberal forums out there... but why be such if there is no need to be? This is a place to get heartfelt advice for most people, not howard stern shock value.

[Rabican]

Palsey. You have only had married sex. It's like saying I prefer apples over oranges. But I have never had an orange, I just know that apples are better. That is not a prefernce. You have to try both things and with the knowledge of what each it like, make the decision that one is better.

I prefer sex with love over sex without love. I know this becuase I have had both, and I know my prefernce.

And I have seen many judgemental posts like : I don't think teenagers should being having sex so I can't give advice to them.

And yes, I'm only on here when I'm not having sex. Sex is my preference to being online.

 

Ive never done heroin either, or crack... but I think I can make a logical, informed estimation as to if I would like them or not.... hmmmm im going with no on this one.

In the case of married sex, or single sl*tty sex I think that is clearly a moral issue for most people. Which in my opinion is not the same as apples and oranges. Its right or wrong, or guilty about what you did, or not. Sex with 12 partners in a year... to you may be fun... lots of thrills, lots of variety etc. To another, that might be lots of drama, lots of risk, lots of std testing that frankly... they dont find so appealing. Yes we are sexual beings, we are also emotional beings, moral beings, sometimes not sexual beings, Sometimes responsible beings. Seems to me you are the one looking at this from a one sided perspective.

[Daddy Bear]

Rabican's mention of heroin and crack gave me pause to think. you see, i've fallen into both of those quicksand pits and i feel it is my duty to warn everyone i can not to tread in the same deadly spots.

 

likewise with teenage sex: i was a father at 15 and it was not the life i would have wished on anyone, never mind that my eldest son was born of an illegal act (despite the use of condoms, i might add). how can i condone such things, knowing full well what the negative consequences can be? the plain truth is that i would be a scumbag if i didn't do my best to pass along the benefit of my experience.

 

now, i ask you: do i sound like a conservative prude?

[yeawutever]

For, I don't care about religion, as I have none and I'm an atheist. I just don't want to b/c I don't feel ready.

[Batya33]

I confess I have not read the responses - well I skimmed a few. I do not understand why those with traditional or conservative views are judged so harshly as opposed to those with liberal views about sex and drugs - the bias seems to be that it is better to be into casual sex and legalizing drugs. For myself, I try not to judge, I have no interest in casual sex (and I am a very sexual and sensual person) or trying any illegal drugs and I think both of those values have served me very well in my life as far as my mental and phyiscal health and my career/education related accomplishments. I'm just not sure why it's seen as "old fashioned" - I consder myself a very modern person and more specifically, a modern woman.

[notsomuch]

I think ENA mirrors society quite well. Whenever I ask for advice there are usually one or more conflicting views.

I, and many other members of ENA have no problem with teenage sex. If someone does, thats their opinion, and you should respect it. There will always be people who think differently to you. Deal with it.

[nosoul]

okay im 16 and im not a virgin when i was younger i swore i would wait till i was married to have sex. But last summer i fall in love and one thing lead to another and boom we had sex.it wasnt the best sex because it lasted maybe 7 seconds because i said to him "you better not get me pregant" and we stopped. we have been having sex ever since.every once and a while i reget doing it but only because adults make a big deal out of keeping your vignity. My mom lost hers when she was my age,my dad didnt lose his till his wedding day, but mom had lots of boyfriends , dad was shy. My cousin had a kid at 18, i know the diseases , i know the risks. Im still with my boyfriend, and we talk of getting married. we have been together for over a year. We are turning into highschool sweet hearts because im in grade 11 and so far i have been with him the whole time in highschool.And i know someone will read this and think im some silly little teenager and i hate how some adults look down upon me.We're not perfect we make mistakes and how would you guys like it if you were in my position and had adults like yourself looking down at you.You dont have to live with yourself and have to deal with adults making you feel bad about your decisions.So before you go off and judge me there are thousands more just like me. Im so galde there adults out there who dont out us down even if they dont agree with it and i'd like to thank them!

[PaulvonMunich]

Dont lump me in this category because im certainly NOT holding out for marriage. But a lot of people do have morals, and standards. What you may consider just a 'great sex life' others may consider innapropriate....

....it just is what it is, a choice....

Great words of wisdom - something like what Confuzius might have said!?

 

Many are well-educated enough not to want to crawl around copulating like animals. I, for instance, am married but have become a 'grass widower' for the past 5 years. My wife wants no more sex.

But the farthest I would go - short of adultery - is let a masseuse 'spoil' me with Lomi Lomi Nui massages. A couple of them had, after a few sessions, and lots of honest chats, even gone onto performing what is similar to tantra massage.

 

Different people of difference educational, family, etc. backgrounds have different attitude towards sex - and their expressions, both verbally and bodily - are dictated by the person's mood on different occasions.

 

For one, I can be very blatantly sexual in my expressions when writing my sex-stories. But I can also be very tight-laced when I am with an old lady.

Circumstances demand appropriate behaviour modes!

 

Yet in INTERNET forums - like here, for instance - one can, and should when in the appropriate section - be very open, even direct. But please, one just should be honest and not at all vulgar.

 

There is another good reason why many don't want to voice themselves too openly. There tend to be simply too many sex-frustrated single males who go around attacking others who dare be explicit whilst conducting sexual discussions.

I have personally been attacked by many 'JEALOUS' buggers! Apologies for using bad word - but that's the exact fitting description for such types... too many of them... pity.

 

That's why so many rape, molest criminal cases happening around the world nowadays, I suppose. If only these 'males' can open their mind up to accept others' opinion.

 

Personally, wiriting sex-stories, conducting cyber sex (mind you, for those who are brave enough, both males & females!) can contribute to easing lots of sexual frustrations. This is 'letting off steam' in the positive fashion.

Those who attack others expressing themselves 'bravely' are cowardly and seeking to 'leak off their frusts' via negative channels.

 

I would advocate more HONEST, OPPEN-MINDED, NON-VULGAR discussions, any time.

 

PAUL

[BillyJean714]

I'm conservative when it comes to sex. I'm proud to say that I'm prudish when it comes to these things, because you know what? I'm being true to myself, and that's ALL that counts! I do it to protect myself, because I'm not one to have sex without emotions involved. And, I see sex more enjoyable when it's given to someone who TRULY cares.

 

I'm not that type of girl who can just have sex with anyone, and not feel emotionally attached. That's how I am. That's just not how I want to live, because that would just be a lie to me. Whatever happened to keeping life simple, and not going along with the crowd/peer pressure? Because once sex is involved, at least for me, it just makes everything SO complicated, especially if there isn't any sense of true commitment.

 

Far too often, it almost seems like people give into the illusion of gving sex to get love, but in the end, they always end up getting hurt. I see that through my friends and their experiences.

 

I don't shun down on others just because they're are sexually liberal and/or promiscuous. I just live by my own values as a way to prevent myself from getting hurt.

[PaulvonMunich]

Bravo Billy Jean! It's so good to see there are still lots of 'good women' nowadays. It may seem I am contradicting myself saying this, after having recently aired that I find it good not to be too conservative about talking about sex.

 

Having said that, I hope many ladies can still appreciate what comes next... It is a fact and a supreme feeling for a MAN, as in my case, to realise, when-ever he did manage to be in bed with a 'conservative' woman, that he was a lucky guy, being able to 'exchange deep feelings', and bodily sensations too, with a 'rare' female.

For she doesn't do 'THIS' with just any Tom, * * * * (what a pun!) and Harry. Right?

 

But 'talking' is not the same as 'doing' sex. I do love doing a lot of 'TALK SEX', cybering with even hitherto unknown females. But it shouldn't harm anybody thereby involved. It's not the same as having actual coitus, is it?

Now... ladies, please take note, many of my cyber sex partners have had the unexpected benefits of enjoying orgasms without having to, so to speak, feel they had to discard their dignity.

 

Honestly, my 'sex-periences' have convinced me that having sex with an open-minded, brave-hearted, honest, but freely naughtily talkative female had turned many a dull 'bed-bout' into extra orgasmic sex-trafficking!

For me, it's always a joy to realise before launching into sex that my lady was not going to say... take me... (or it!) if you want to... or something like that.

 

Many have claimed, sex involves more than quick shufflings of a penis in and out of a vagina. It takes feelings too. Only too true! But isn't be also true that sex can be something to look forward to - yes, for me, at least! - as being yet another 'style' of achieving orgasm(s!) without a dull moment during the proceeding?

Sex-talkative females can add 'spices' to life for a man, without having to engage in actual sex with him, for whom affection is still to be nourished.

 

This brings me to say that I have enjoyed lots of CYBER SEX sessions too.

I have had such extra enjoyment during the verbal erotic exchanges, knowing that I was giving my female eSex partners some orgasms which she would not have had with a man for whom she had not yet developed deep feelings.

 

But I think I should start another thread on the theme of CYBER SEX.

[Daddy Bear]

here's where i line up with the conservatives: a married guy hitting on ENA members and trolling for cybersex just doesn't sit right with me.

[Dako]

Kinda creepy, ain't it?

[PaulvonMunich]

 

Yet in INTERNET forums - like here, for instance - ... There tend to be simply too many sex-frustrated single males who go around attacking others who dare be explicit whilst conducting sexual discussions.

I have personally been attacked by many 'JEALOUS' buggers! Apologies for using bad word - but that's the exact fitting description for such types... too many of them... pity.

That's why so many rape, molest criminal cases happening around the world nowadays, I suppose. If only these 'males' can open their mind up to accept others' opinion.

PAUL

 

See what I mean...

[CarnelianButterfly]

But still every once in a while I see someone say " I am still a virgin at 22" or that " I'm not comfortable about giving sex advice to a teenager".

IS this willful ignorance? What could one's motivation for not pursuing great sex? Why would anyone be judgemental about another person's sex practices ( if they are between consenting adults, or consenting people)

Is the rest of the world still so traditional and sexist that a really sexual women is still a threat to society?

Aren't you yourself being judgmental by commenting on a person choosing to remain a virgin until marriage. I happen to not have sex with every man around me because that is my choice. You call it conservative, I say its protecting myself with the only proven form of birth control and STD prevention.

[Daddy Bear]

See what I mean...

if you're trying to say that i'm jealous of you, then i surely don't. this forum is not an appropriate place for what you're obviously trying to do, and i'm not going to stand idly by and watch you turn it into a place for people to come when they want to cheat on their wives. no, sir.

[annie24]

here's where i line up with the conservatives: a married guy hitting on ENA members and trolling for cybersex just doesn't sit right with me.

 

I second that!

[BellaDonna]

here's where i line up with the conservatives: a married guy hitting on ENA members and trolling for cybersex just doesn't sit right with me.

This is EXACTLY the kind of thing I worry about when you consider that members of enotalone can be as young as 13 years-old. This is exactly what I think they should be shielded from. There's no need to get explicit in posts.

There are plenty meat-market sites like "Adult Friend Finder" where these kind of people can troll, so I don't understand why they feel the need to do it here.

BellaDonna

[Dako]

I'm concerned that we have members in recovery from abusive or painful experiences, and some tactless sorts may exploit the situation for selfish reasons. We discuss sex here quite freely, but solicitation seems beyond the pale.

 

I hope anyone who receives unwanted attention here is comfortable with blocking it or reporting it to a mod.

[Daddy Bear]

eloquently stated, Dakosan. ENA is like a group therapy session where frank discussion can be healing but rubbing one out has absolutely no place.

 

i personally favor reporting AND blocking anyone whose sexual advances make you feel uncomfortable.

[BellaDonna]

Good point, Dako. If members ever feel like they were harassed in a sexual manner or otherwise, they should definitely bring it to the attention of the moderators because it violates forum rules:

 

 

 

 

 

BellaDonna

[caro33]

Wow what an interesting end to an interesting thread! Ironic is not the word I'm after but I can't come up with the right word...

 

Good call slightybent.