savannahohsavannah Posted October 12, 2006 Share Posted October 12, 2006 But I can't seem to do it! I'm really upset. So much of my adult life I've spent alone and I wanted to make some changes, but this finding a mate is something that I cannot dictate nor do alone. I'm having a birthday today and it's bringing it all into sharp focus. While I believe that I can find someone, I haven't. Sigh. Does anyone else feel this way? Savannah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skippy Posted October 12, 2006 Share Posted October 12, 2006 maybe you are being too picky?? i am not saying that you should be a * * * *, but maybe you shouldnt look at it as finding the ONE, but look at it as experiencing diffent ones. Go out with all kinds of guys ust avoid the drug takers etc. but guys of all sorts. You may accidently find the ONE where you didnt expect to find him. Good LUCK! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MacGyverRI Posted October 12, 2006 Share Posted October 12, 2006 How old are you? Many people mistakenly feel as you do, more so as you get older. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
savannahohsavannah Posted October 12, 2006 Author Share Posted October 12, 2006 Mistakenly? I think the urge to be a couple is primal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MacGyverRI Posted October 12, 2006 Share Posted October 12, 2006 Mistakenly as in worry so much about it. Being on a mission to find someone is very frustrating and even depressing. When you least expect it, you will find someone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin T Posted October 13, 2006 Share Posted October 13, 2006 But I can't seem to do it! I'm really upset. So much of my adult life I've spent alone and I wanted to make some changes, but this finding a mate is something that I cannot dictate nor do alone. I'm having a birthday today and it's bringing it all into sharp focus. While I believe that I can find someone, I haven't. Sigh. Does anyone else feel this way? Savannah 1. You're not being "too picky." It's better to not settle and be alone than be stuck in a pointless, boring, unhappy marriage. 2. It's quite normal that you have a desire to find someone to spend your life with. Anyone who says that is abnormal or unimportant... well, I won't even say what I think about that. lol (Not within the board's values...) In terms of finding someone when you least expect it, I don't know about that... I've gone years expecting nothing. Guess what I got? Nothing! lol (It's true.) 3. Now, you SAY you believe that you can find someone... but I have to disagree. Do you honestly believe that in your heart of hearts? Because I don't think you do. If you truly had no doubts about finding the right person, you would have them! But you did ask if you're alone in feeling this way. The obvious answer to that question is, of course not. You're hardly alone and there are probably more men out there than women who feel the way you do. So don't lose heart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
True Companion Posted October 13, 2006 Share Posted October 13, 2006 I have promised myself the same thing - wait for "the one." I'm approaching my decision this way: I'm willing to give it several years. Just take the time to meet lots of people and have fun and look for that one person who I feel is the one for me. But I'm also allowing myself the freedom to change my mind in the future. Maybe in five years or ten years if I haven't found "the one," at that point, then I might consider being with someone who I love and can build a life with even if I don't have that feeling that he is the one I've waited for all my life. I believe that the kind of magical "the one" love that we all dream of does exist. But I'm not sure how common it is. It may be kind of like winning the lottery. It happens, but very rarely and the chances of it happening to me may be quite small. I know so many people who are in relationships with people who are not "the one," and they describe themselves as content. At this point in my life, I'm holding out for unbelievably happy. But as years pass, being content may begin to sound better and better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
savannahohsavannah Posted October 13, 2006 Author Share Posted October 13, 2006 When I was 13 years old I met Miss Cook. She was 87 and had never been married, and when I asked her why she responded that she never found anyone to marry. I've seen recently up close and personal how much trouble you can cause yourself by marrying to be married. One of my pals did it, and it ended in divorce within ONE month. So, I'm not the type to just jump into marriage for the sake of such. I don't believe my age is pertinent to this discussion, although I'm probably older than you think. So no I'm not 25 and bemoaning my single fate! Sigh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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