blueangel Posted October 10, 2006 Share Posted October 10, 2006 The sunset glimmers with a shadow or two Sinking down As I wander around in my mind I ask myself and the world, What do I do with this time? The grass blades are elongated together Each one bringing up a force of its own How I feel like resting in this forest In it, find my home I stretch my fingers out with my arms Pretend for a while I can fly Before I can count the seconds It spreads- the night sky Whom do I pray to? What forces do I seek? I have to say that I've meddled In almost everything Sometimes I speak from it, from within But my exploring words come slow Imagining all the possibilities In a world that continues to forego The spiritual nature of which its inclined To be spitually activated is something we can't find Lessons to learn and boundaries to overcome There's so much from I've wanted to run Perhaps I can create things from these spaces... Of dark Turn them to light as I tear the years apart Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms. Babydoll Posted October 12, 2006 Share Posted October 12, 2006 That's is very interesting, I could read it over and over and never get bored, well done! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blueangel Posted October 12, 2006 Author Share Posted October 12, 2006 Another girl told me that it was childish- rhyming comes off as a shallow way of illustrating things.. too light hearted for deep subjects. She really didn't like my poem. I don't whether or not I agree. Becoming better is something though that is difficult. I am moving there slowly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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