marquis Posted October 5, 2006 Share Posted October 5, 2006 Hi everyone here, I just foundout abou this wonderful site few days back, since I am going through a tough time these days... and I would like to share my story and also your comments and opinions on it. Encouraging words will definitely help greatly during these tough times... I had met this wonderful girl 2 months ago and (although noticed each other for over 6 months), we decided to be together from the start. There was a problem that she had a boyfriend of 2 years, with whom she was in cold terms, on the verge of break-up and my arrival only accelerated the process. BUT, before that he found out about us and they broke up. Now, for him, I was the bad person, and she was cheating on him. He apparently went and told one of her cousins about us, and made a bad image of me, saying I was a foreigner with uncertain background, playing around with thier daughter. Her parents then became furious and asked her to leave her job immediately and stay at home. Our good times had just started that she had to leave the place, and go back home (which is in another town of about 5 hours). We nevertheless kept in contact and sweared each other that we will carry on no matter what obstacles. For the 20 something days that we spent together before she went home, we were cherishing every moment of it. After she went home, she also came out on every chance to meet me and we had a very good time together. And then, I had to go out of the country for a month and a half. It was a preplanned trip, not all of a sudden, so she knew it all beforehand. For a month while away, we missed each other so much and we called each other almost everyday. But, one day, all of a sudden, I received this devastating email, asking for ending the relationship. I called her and she seemed adamant, and reason she provided was "I feel inseure with you and cannot see a future". I was crushed, and cried and begged and promised for a good future...everything I could, but she still remained unmoved. I will never forget the horrible rest of 2 weeks that I had to go through in a foreign land. After I came back, she never came to the airport to receive me, and she had been to my place to take her belongings back while I was away. Then, I met her on the MSN, and this time she said she wanted to talk to me. I asked for the reason, and she told me it was her family's strong opposition to our relationship (just as it was in the beginning) and also a sense of guilty towards her previous boyfriend. I just couldn't take the pain anymore, and after a much thought, I agreed for the break up, although I still doubt the real reason. After sending a nice and peaceful break-up email, I received a call from her, and she seemed quite depressed, and talked to me for a while, still not really clear of the reason. According to her, it is her family's opposition, and that she contemplates that in future there would be even greater opposition and in the end it would still be a seperation, so she wanted to end it prematurely. I am in real deep love with her. I even asked my parents for marrying with this girl, and planned everything for the future with her. We had common dreams of the future, of our home, children... I am devastated. Now I am in NC period, and this is really eating me away. She send me text messages occasionally. She has an online diary where she writes, and I have seen her writing her sufferings and arguments that she is having with her parents. She seems to be in a verge of going into clinically Major depression. BUT, I cannot do anything...!!! I feel so helpless. I really want her back.... at any cost. But I am following the NC advice since that is the only thing I can do at the moment, while she sorts her things out and become more clear headed. Please...please, I need some advice. Do u think she will every come back? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheRedQueen Posted October 5, 2006 Share Posted October 5, 2006 I don't know if she will ever come back but I really felt your anguish while reading this post, my heart and hope goes out to you both. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheRedQueen Posted October 5, 2006 Share Posted October 5, 2006 Oh, and welcome to ENA!! And I'm sorry I can't be of more help, surely someone else will come along and provide you with some productive advice Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marquis Posted October 7, 2006 Author Share Posted October 7, 2006 I do still get some text messages from her... but I have decided sticking on NC. I bought a second hand car and an electric guitar for myself in these two days, just decided to be good to myself, instead of dwelling on sad things and making myself miserable. She is supposed to come to see me sometime in the next two weeks. I am going to wear good clothes and show myself great infront of her... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marquis Posted October 17, 2006 Author Share Posted October 17, 2006 Well... my story continues... I maintained my complete NC, and you know what, she did contact me by herself after sometime. She sends me text messages, phones me sometimes, and she calls me on the MSN when I choose to let her see me online. We chat about all the things in the world, EXCEPT our relationship. Well, this is actually quite heartaching for me, since I have to maintain passive NC, just chatting along her lines. She still shows care and still talks in the way she use to, asking about my everyday life. But now, I am in a kind of fix. I find myself that I cannot move on if she comes bumping into my life every now and then. Although infront of her, I pretend myself that I can live happy even without her, but deep inside my mind, I am still emotionally attached to her. I am scared that if we remain like this, one day either she may just crack down and say she cannot live without me, OR most probably, she might just gradually disappear, or just turn into a kind of good friend, which very much would leave me heartbroken ONCE AGAIN. and I don't want to go through all this again. What should I do now? Is it the right time to tell her clearly about my feelings, or give more time? Because I can never know what she is thinking... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marquis Posted August 30, 2009 Author Share Posted August 30, 2009 Well.... the story continues... Its been almost 3 years now, and I have moved on successfully in life, graduated from school and now I am medical doctor... Its really amazing how time heals everything... the pain and anguish that I had gone through 3 years ago, have all now turned into bitter-sweet memories which will be cherished forever... and I will be remembering them with a big smile... To all those broken-hearts out there, turn your pain and agony into motivation and courage, TIME is the greatest healer.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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