Can we REALLY be friends???

[sugarbear]

Ok, here is the deal. Last January my first true love and I broke up (at his choice, not mine). It took me months to get over it. But he insisted that he loved me as a friend too much to lose me completely and wanted to remain friends. He let me have my space and once I felt like I was over him we became friends. I have dated a few other people, and he has been wiht his new girlfriend for about 5 months now. I REALLY felt, for a long time, that I was over him. But now, for some reason, all those feelings that I had before have come flooding back. I love him to death, and we have become best friends over the last year (almost a year anyway). Will these feelings pass? Is this normal? OR am I going to have to stop seeing him altogether? Any advice for moving on and still remaining friends??? Is it possible? I'm willing to give anything a try to save the friendship. Thanks, sugarbear

[rzagza]

I had to make a similar decision lately. It was my first true love I would say, I tried to stay friends for the longest time, but finally decided that it was the best just to move on.

 

I think it depends on two things 1) How strongly do you feel for him, and how much is this affecting your life 2) what does his friendship truly mean to you.

 

1) For me it became an overwhelming thing for me, I too thought it was going well, but then when the feelings started to come back and I thought about it all the time, was keeping me from being happy. and for me the importance of me being happy was more important than

 

2) Our friendship. In my case we were good friends Iguess, really like talking to each other, but I don't think we were true friends, there for each other and such, so for me I don't think I was losing a truly special friendshp by moving on.

 

So I think you have to balance those two things, realize that you're not going to ever be back with him as a girlfriend, and truly think about how much this is affecting your life and how much your friendship really means to you when you take away your feelings from him.

 

My advice is to kind of cut your losses. I've gotten over other girls before, but never had to see them again, this has been over a year already and when I think about her it's still like it was yesterday. It's no way to live, for me at least I had to do it to move on and be happy