sfindependent Posted September 22, 2006 Share Posted September 22, 2006 ok, so now im trying to move on, and starting to get phone numbers and all that... but ive been burned by a lot of women saying that "they werent happy anymore". what makes a woman happy? i mean basic stuff and specific stuff. Not the "holding hands when walking" kind of stuff, but stuff that would mean something. like, giving her a compliment. something like that. i mean, romantic stuff out of the way, just basic woman needs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stambler Posted September 22, 2006 Share Posted September 22, 2006 #1 - I don't have a clue #2 - Even if I did, I know whatever makes them happy one day probably won't the next... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sfindependent Posted September 22, 2006 Author Share Posted September 22, 2006 that is so true. so what? i mean, they've told me before, I'm not happy anymore. well, if you're not, how can i make you happy? you can't. so much for trying. is chivalry dead? gallantness? how does a man become a man for her? ive been burnt hard so now I want to be cautious of my next interest.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caterina Posted September 22, 2006 Share Posted September 22, 2006 There are some things you can prevent, and some things you can't. Pay attention to what she says she doesn't like and do it. Pay attention to her, really listen. Sometimes, though, the chemistry just fades and thats the problem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted September 22, 2006 Share Posted September 22, 2006 The way you asked the question reflects that you aren't thinking of women as individuals or, really, as "people." Every woman is different and should be treated as such. In general normal people like kindness, generosity, understanding, tactfulness, etc. in varying degrees depending on context and the person involved. There is nothing that makes all women happy in the sense you're asking. It made a woman I know very happy for her husband to order all her food for her at a restaurant, all the time. That would make me sick. Some women aren't happy unless they're hearing from their significant others every hour and some women only want to hear from him every few days. What really makes people happy is to be treated like individuals - that might be as far as one can go in generalizing. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anna. Posted September 22, 2006 Share Posted September 22, 2006 What really makes people happy is to be treated like individuals - that might be as far as one can go in generalizing. Well said, Batya. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
engagedkitty Posted September 22, 2006 Share Posted September 22, 2006 Don't cheat- or look at women in front of us, and if you're smart- don't do it behind our backs- and don't look at porn- and don't lie. And cook once in awhile. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sfindependent Posted September 22, 2006 Author Share Posted September 22, 2006 thanks! hopefully that will help...any more suggestions? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarnelianButterfly Posted September 22, 2006 Share Posted September 22, 2006 Consideration and empathy. We feel things just the way you do. If it would hurt you, it could hurt us. Everyone has bad days and everyone says things they may regret. No one is perfect. Not everything we say has a special meaning or is said to trap you. PMS is not reason we are in a bad mood (at least not everytime, but when it does its cuz we hurt and our hormones are fluctuating). Attempt to understand what she feels. Try to see things from a different perspective. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momene Posted September 22, 2006 Share Posted September 22, 2006 There's no magic formula. What I've learned though is that they are more like men than you think. They are not a different species. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sfindependent Posted September 22, 2006 Author Share Posted September 22, 2006 hmmm. I dont know. i dont know anymore, i just keep getting confused as to what it would take to make women happy. I mean YOU do want them to be happy, but then again, it changes everyday. and they dont really tellyou what it is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JSMITH Posted September 22, 2006 Share Posted September 22, 2006 Subject: King Arthur and the Witch Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighbouring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals.. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death. The question?...What do women really want? Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end. He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise men and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer. Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she would have the answer But the price would be high; as the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged. The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but he would have to agree to her price first..The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's closest friend! Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunchbacked and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life. He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden; but Lancelot, learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur. He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life and the preservation of the Round Table. Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered Arthur's question thus: What a woman really wants, she answered...is to be in charge of her own life. Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and that Arthur's life would be spared. And so it was, the neighbouring monarch granted Arthur his freedom and Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding. The honeymoon hour approached and Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a sight awaited him. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on the bed. The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened and the beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, she would henceforth, be her horrible deformed self only half the time and the beautiful maiden the other half. Which would he prefer? Beautiful during the day....or night? Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day, a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch? Or, would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day, but by night, a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous intimate moments? What would YOU do? What Lancelot chose is below. BUT....make YOUR choice before you scroll down below. OKAY? Noble Lancelot said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself. Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life. Now....what is the moral to this story? The moral is..... well .... you decide! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ImThatGirl Posted September 22, 2006 Share Posted September 22, 2006 LOL - What makes me happy? When my guy asks me what makes me happy. When my guy shows sincere interest in keeping me happy. When my guy is attentive even if I'm talking too much. And when my guy makes our plans and schedule clear. Don't beat around the bush. Communicate! communicate! communicate! If you can't figure your girl out, ask her...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
helpme2 Posted September 22, 2006 Share Posted September 22, 2006 caring about me, being loving, understanding, listening, doing nice things for me, making me feel appreciated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smile_83 Posted September 24, 2006 Share Posted September 24, 2006 As bad as it sounds, there is not really an answer for that. Some people like to be miserable, so nothing ever makes them happy. I think listening is a great step, but keep in mind, if someone's not happy with themselves, no one can ever make them happy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bungalo Posted September 24, 2006 Share Posted September 24, 2006 Most women like confident men who take charge-not bully or demand, but plan an evening and take care of every detail. Also, when women talk about problems, that is a way for them to get close to their man-it's a bonding thing, but they don't want you to come up with ways to fix the problem-they want you to listen and empathize with their feelings. Women (and men) like mystery. Don't be so predictable that she gets bored-keep the romance alive. Don't bring up other women, past loves or exes they absolutely hate this because they seem to always think that you're comparing them to the other women. How's that for starters? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pooh-bare Posted September 24, 2006 Share Posted September 24, 2006 what makes a woman happy? .Good question that I have no answer to! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sfindependent Posted September 24, 2006 Author Share Posted September 24, 2006 Most women like confident men who take charge-not bully or demand, but plan an evening and take care of every detail. Also, when women talk about problems, that is a way for them to get close to their man-it's a bonding thing, but they don't want you to come up with ways to fix the problem-they want you to listen and empathize with their feelings. Women (and men) like mystery. Don't be so predictable that she gets bored-keep the romance alive. Don't bring up other women, past loves or exes they absolutely hate this because they seem to always think that you're comparing them to the other women. How's that for starters? I shouldve known this a while ago! i mean, men often think that when women come to them with problems, they need to come up with a solution! hmmm... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms. Babydoll Posted September 25, 2006 Share Posted September 25, 2006 what makes me happy when it comes to relationships is *When the boyfriend is willing to spend time with you when you ask *No secrets *A lot of intimacy and passion *Good communication Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sfindependent Posted September 25, 2006 Author Share Posted September 25, 2006 well u know, i've been wanting the same thing but i'm not getting it! so i think i should remove myself from that situation, don't you think? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ItsonlyME Posted September 25, 2006 Share Posted September 25, 2006 what makes a woman happy? i mean basic stuff and specific stuff. Not the "holding hands when walking" kind of stuff, i mean, romantic stuff out of the way, just basic woman needs. I can't speak for other women so I'll tell you what makes ME happy. When I feel loved. Appreciated. Heard. Understood. Respected. When I can be my own person, when I can be myself. When he is himself. No facade, no mask. When he doesn't escape. When he is authentic. Sincere. Honest. Even if I don't agree or don't like it much. When the very imperfect me is still loved, appreciated, heard, understood, and respected no matter what. When he makes efforts. Doesn't mean he has to get everything right. I sure don't get everything right! When he trusts my judgement, my decisions. When he trusts me. When he trusts I'll do my best. When he invests in us. I don't mean by that he has to hold my hand 24/7 and write me poetry. Small things do add up. When he acts, talks and behaves like an adult. When I don't need to mother him. When he doesn't make me feel like a child. When he tells me stuff. When he talks about the real things. Does this help? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sfindependent Posted September 25, 2006 Author Share Posted September 25, 2006 whew! women are so complicated. it doesnt take one thing to make them happy. men are so easy. two things: Treat him like a man and just be there when he needs you to be. be it for sex, food, comfort or the occasional "do you know where the rake is for the garden honey?". thats it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ItsonlyME Posted September 25, 2006 Share Posted September 25, 2006 whew! women are so complicated. Nah. Not really... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sfindependent Posted September 25, 2006 Author Share Posted September 25, 2006 man, im so confused then. who plays more games then? men or women? i mean as far as the dating rituals and relationships are concerned? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ImThatGirl Posted September 25, 2006 Share Posted September 25, 2006 ItsOnlyMe - You hit everything!!!! And I don't think men just need 2 things... Not in my experiences! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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