I need help

[Crizco]

My g/f just broke up with me a week ago. My problem isn't alcohol. It is marijuana. We've dated for about a year and a half. I cheated on her. We broke up for about 4 months and luckily we got back together. I got comfortable again in the relationship and started to smoke a little more often. I ended up moving up to where she goes to school so i could go to school her as well. It wasn't even 2 weeks into the school year and she left me stranded in a new town. I wouldn't think she would do something like this. She always acted like she loved me so much. And when i talk to her she says I will never change and that's just who I am. I know that's not who I am and I really want to quit smoking weed and cigarettes. I feel that is the source of all my problems. I have smoked since we have started dating. She hasn't really mentioned smoking being a part of the problem that much but I know it is! She says it's because she's young and wants to be single and do her own thing. But I know she hated the smoking! I'm such an idiot and I take everything for grantite. This girl has everything going for her and It hurts soo bad inside to know i might have messed everything up. If i can quit smoking cigarttes and weed, I know it's a great change no matter what but do you think it would bring her back to my arms. I just wish there was a guide i could follow to get her back. Certain steps i could take to win her heart back over. She used to be SO into me! Way more than I was into her and that all changed about a year ago. Someone talk to me please. Thanks. I love this girl so much and I know she can't just fall out of love with me like that. I sometimes think she might be dating someone else but when I ask her she says no. We have been broken up for about a week but she has still texted/called pretty much everday. I called her today to tell her I wanted to tell her how I felt and she didn't really want to listen that much. I just told her I loved her and missed her and asked her if she ever sees us getting back together and she said no not really. She likes the way things are right now. Why doesn't she love me anymore. I will quit smoking everything. : (

[blender]

Well you have some "hurdles" to jump over personally BEFORE you can start trying to get her to listen to your heart. One thing at a time, do you want to quit smoking for yourself? If the answer is "yes' then that is a goal to set for yourself, trying one day at a time to stop... go to a "nicotine annonymous" meeting, there's tons of young people in them, there free, and if you look on the internet in your area you'll find there is one near you.. that's one first baby step to improving yourself and learning from your heartache.

 

Of course it's not about convincing HER that you will change, it starts with convincing yourself that you really want to "improve your own life".

 

Fate has a way of meeting us half way when we make an "effort" to learn from "regrets"... You are going to "miss her" and you'll have to respect her choice to not be a couple with you right now, don't fight it, just keep saying to her: "I understand how you feel, and I hope that maybe at some point we can try again, but I get that "right now" is not the time for you"

 

She will be impressed if you say this, she won't feel any pressure, she will admire you respect of her, and you will feel better about yourself.

 

Now is NOT the time to try to get her to understand YOU.. it's time for you to "understand her"... this gives her heart a chance to open towards you again in the future..so remember, easy does it when you speak to her, listen to HER, let her talk, be understanding, and keep contact to a bare minimum, if any at all.. if she keeps calling, and your heart is still aching, you can say, "I thought you wanted out of this, and I think you should take this time to be on your own, and I want to work some of my own issues out for myself anyway"

 

And then you DO EXACTLY THAT.. you start working on YOU... make yourself someone you are proud to be... and FATE will bring love into your life...

[Crizco]

why would i want to be with her if she doesn't want to be with me? Because she is right. She was dating someone who was always high, short fused, and sometimes blew things out of proportion. Granite it wasn't that bad. I also lacked the little things just to show her I was caring. The romantic things. I love her so much. All i want is a second chance. I moved up her because of her and now I have no friends up here and no one to really hang out with. She left me hanging. I want her back so bad though. I'm debating moving home. I don't think i'm going to because it won't really make anything better and that would probably end all chances of us getting back together. It's dumb to have hope because she pretty much told me strait up yesterday that she doesn't see us getting back together. As of today it has been a week and one day. I broke down hard core yesterday. And I am having a rather tough morning. I am weak.