She Calls After 3 Weeks NC...What to Make of It??

[guy0221]

It has been 3 weeks since I had any contact with the exgf. It has been a month since I have seen her.

 

Anyone following my threads knows that I have been doing better...I have stopped checking my phone and email constantly...I have been seeing other people...I have been going out and having fun. I still have horrible relapses where I feel sick to be without her. Those feelings pass though, and I feel like I could live without her...I know I could.

 

So out of the blue, she calls me early this morning before I wasn't even out of bed. I answered mainly because I thought it might be an emergency...It was not. She wanted to ask me if we could spend some time together NOT as friends. I had told her to only contact me if she wanted to "try 'us' again" and that I could never just be her friend. Basically she was saying she wants to try again. We had very little time to talk because I had to get ready for work but she wants to meet up tonite. I told her I didn't know what my schedule was tonite but to call me after work.

 

I don't know what to feel. I know I still love her but she treated me like sh@#.

 

Should I take this meeting? It could hurt again if I sense that her actions are insincere.

 

This is the last contact I had with her (part of an email).

 

I understand what happened to us for the most part. I agree with alot of what you said. But if we can't be together, then I'm afraid I cannot be around for you. As much as it hurts, I cannot be your 'friend'.

 

Like I've said before, if you come to the conclusion that you want me in your life and want to try 'us' again, I'd be willing to listen.

[Closure]

Tonight is too soon.

 

You need to sit back and think about what you want out of this.

 

You can't slip back into the old routine without some good talking and some solid promises. Explain tonight is too soon, you've attempted to move on with your life and you can't be expected to drop everything with a few hours notice.

 

Decide what YOU want out of this, how things MUST change and what you want HER to agree to. Then sit down and discuss it but DO NOT bend in any way shape nor form.

 

I'd personally hold off until the weekend but DON'T give her a premier league night like Friday or Saturday, relegate her to the lower divisions and think about Sunday.

 

Let us know what you decide/do.

[Rabican]

I dont know why you split in the first place... but if she treated you like crap I would want to know why you should think things will be any different this time around. Just flat ask her, how are things gonna be any better for me this time? See what she says, does she seem honest?

 

If it was crap before, itll be crap again unless things change. Ask her why she wants to try again. You dont want to give it a go if she just wants to do over because shes lonely.

[cryingeyez]

hi guy 0221 can you please tell me why guys do not call back?

[guy0221]

Well, basically she was abroad and developed feelings for another girl. She was struggling with how to react to these feelings and her sexual orientation. In the process, she lied to me about it, became very distant, and strung me along for a month.

 

It was a very odd circumstance and one that I feel cannot be classified as just her "treating me like crap".

 

I understand why we broke up...she needed to find herself again after being away. She hurt me bad though...she lied to me and that is what I fear I could never get over.

 

I'm just wondering if it would hurt my progress to see her and hear her out.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Okay, this is no ordinary breakup. Yes, she lied to you and hurt you and that in unfair. However, she was struggling with her sexual orientation and that is a tough one. From that standpoint alone, be very careful because she still may not be sure of her sexual orientation. Also, if you are not doing anything Friday or Saturday evening, there is no reason why you shouldn't see her just because it is Friday or Saturday evening. There is nothing magical about those evenings, just two regular evenings of a 7 day week. No sense playing games. But you really need to sit down and talk about what she wants, why she wants you back and her sexual orientation.

[guy0221]

Yes, she lied to you and hurt you and that in unfair. However, she was struggling with her sexual orientation and that is a tough one. From that standpoint alone, be very careful because she still may not be sure of her sexual orientation.

 

I agree and believe me, I'm not jumping back into this relationship w/out being positive that she knows what she wants. There will be many things I need to hear if I am to pursue something with her again.

 

I'm worried about what happens when we get together and I DON'T hear the things from her that I need to. I guess I would know for sure that there is no future. I'm still at a loss how I should handle her call tonite.