Why Lead a Guy On?

[GRRNZ]

Why is it that women always lead guys on even when there not interested?

[rose2summer]

I don't believe woman are always leading men on,

 

Could it be that maybe you are misinterpreting friendliness with flirting,

 

I know I sure don't lead men on, unless I have a strong interest,

 

And I am sure many other woman on ENA feel the same way,

 

What types of signals are you getting that makes you feel you are being led on?

 

Rose

[Day_Walker]

Well that could be an issue with perception. It could be that since you are interested in them you just become blind to what they really are telling you but you continue to pursue them because of your interest rather than theirs. There are many different issues that can come out of this problem without you giving specific information we can only speculate.

[Meow18]

I agree with rose2summer. Not every girl leads a guy on. But some do. Some just like the attention they get from it.

 

But if it was me, I have learned that it's hard to even be friendly towards a guy who likes you because he will interpret that as flirting. So could it be possible that you are mistaking friendliness for something else?

 

I mean, if she has told you she's not interested, then she's not no matter what other actions she might be showing. So perhaps if it's misleading you, then you need to try no contact for a little while?

[Closure]

Maybe she lead you on, prehaps you misread the signs.

Put it in your spank bank and move on bud!

[tretneo]

Not to hijack this thread but if you weren't interested in a guy but were interested in being friends. You knew he liked you and was making attempts to spend time with you obviously because he was interested in having a relationship with you. With that in mind would most women make it a point to let their "friends only" feelings be known or wait until the guy made a move that you didn't want and then use that as an opportunity to voice your stance?

[rose2summer]

"Would most women make it a point to let their "friends only" feelings be known or wait until the guy made a move that you didn't want and then use that as an opportunity to voice your stance?"

 

I make comments to my male friends, saying oh you're such a great friend,

 

I am so glad I never have to worry about you hitting on me,

 

In a joking way of course, so they don't take it personally,

 

I am not sure what has worked well for other woman,

 

I will let someone get closer to me if I am interested,

 

Otherwise, I make it clear that I appreciate their friendship,

 

And it has worked exceedingly well for me so far,

 

Rose

[chai714]

GRRNZ,

 

Body language is a very good indicator to measure whether or not a woman is attracted to you. To prevent future "lead-ons" learn about body language signals and signs of positive body language.

 

It's very, very difficult to fake your body language so it's usually a reliable indicator.

 

Good luck.

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

Generalization alert! Vent away, but don't make sweeping statements..it really isn't true that all women always lead guys on. Or even that it's a trend.

[ImThatGirl]

Not to hijack this thread but if you weren't interested in a guy but were interested in being friends. You knew he liked you and was making attempts to spend time with you obviously because he was interested in having a relationship with you. With that in mind would most women make it a point to let their "friends only" feelings be known or wait until the guy made a move that you didn't want and then use that as an opportunity to voice your stance?

 

I have found that it blatantly announcing "I'm not interested in a relationship" or "I'm not interested in dating you" makes for a challenge for the guy.

 

I have honestly known guys and told them this clearly and then they seem so interested, contacting constantly, in what seems like an attempt to change my mind.

 

At that point, I try to distance myself for fear of them being let down when it clicks since my words were of no use. I think sometimes "actions speak louder than words" isn't so true. I am a very friendly, compassionate person and can be a great friend. I am also very strong. What seems to happen is that people mistake those things for signs as wanting to be in a relationship with them. Even though it was stated clearly "I am not interested."

[in_the_mirror]

yea i sometimes think that guys misinterpret that. i must admit the female sex doesn't always realize it is happening. i know i don't. my b/f tells me that i don't flirt what so ever which was what drew him to me, and i apparently led a guy on at school because we happened to be interested in the same things.... i thought great friend to chill with, and he thought of other possibilities....i think it is just all natural sometimes, and is prolly best to try and just see it from both sides....girls like to joke around just like guys do. and guys sometimes leads girls on too, it's just kinda a big circle of weirdness

[charley]

in that innocent misunderstandings happen all the time.

 

One the other hand, some women sometimes do that on purpose just to boost their ego (at your expense).

 

So sometimes you just misunderstood friendliness, but other times they intend you to misunderstand. Perhaps sometimes they might even like you and then change their mind midstream for some reason. I think it's pointless to try to figure out their reasons because it's hard on a guy's sanity to try and understand women to much. The only thing worth figuring out is if she's sincerely interested or not.

 

If you figure out that they're not interested for whatever reason, just pick up and move on and don't pay that gal any more attention. There's many other women in your area, and every area. So there's no need to continue with one after you've determined her to be a dead end.

 

If you run accross one who intentionally leads you on to boost her ego, and you are certain that it's intentional, then don't seek her out anymore. If your path accidentally (or unavoidably) crosses hers, yawn whenever you are around her. It sends a signal that "you bore me and I don't find you attractive". That knocks her ego down a peg and you can regain some self respect and power. i.e. - now you're rejecting her subtely and without saying anything. The key is to be subtle and make it real. I have to admit, when I occasionally meet some super hot, stuck-up gal who thinks she's irresistible, I enjoy looking right at her and yawning. I have the ability to yawn at will for real anytime, anyplace. I developed the ability to yawn under stress for business reasons during negotiations to convey indifference, but it's also great for stuck-up women to communicate indifference. Yawning during times of stress helps relax a person. Even if you intentionally yawn (fake), it will quickly relax you and your next yawn will be real. Don't forget to cover your mouth because you want to be indifferent, not rude. ;-) The goal is polite indifference when you want to express that. The interesting thing is that yawning really triggers relaxation, sleepiness and then the indifference is real. So it will become true indifference and not just an act. A great way to forget someone who's right in front of you.

[Dako]

GRRNZ,

Perhaps you could explain what happened. Apparently you feel you were led on by a woman who wasn't interested. It could be a case of miscommunication, her changing her mind, or just toying with you, etc.