Why do you hate your mother?

[princess_summer_blue84]

I hate my mother because she stood by and watched, never returned the favour and eventually joined in.

 

Joined in what ? Can you tell me . You can Pm me if you want.

[featherhawk]

My mother has been passive all her life and wants the same for me, sacrificing my sanity and need for stability. She is always trying to push me into making amends. She has allowed family to abuse her and myself and keeps manipulating me to try and pull me back into her world because she believes that having contact with a bad family is better than no family at all, no matter what the cost.

[Boughtandpaidfor]

I can't believe this thread is still going!!

 

When I asked the question I hope I didn't put it in a negative light. I was talking about noticing the hate for what it was, not denying it- you can't deal with something you don't want to look at!

 

.... I hate my mother because I want to run and tell her "mommy mommy look the thread I started runs to 18 pages! I'm a good boy right?"

[pacodemil]

I'm angry with my mother for always going out of her way to do anything and everything for my older brother and not having the time to deal with any of my problems and needs.

[purpleumbrella]

I'm angry with my mother because she is restricting me from having a life.

[Gracelove]

LOL! I find this thread to be so funny!!!!!

I didn't realize so many people were angry with their mothers.

Kind of makes you afraid to be one.

[shoppingGirl]

I hate my mother for abandoning me and my brother when I was 7 years old. :sad:

[CaptainPlanet]

LOL! I find this thread to be so funny!!!!!

I didn't realize so many people were angry with their mothers.

Kind of makes you afraid to be one.

 

If you're over controlling your sons might grow up to hate women.

[Mock Chop]

I am more angry at myself than my mother, because it's taken me 37 years to see that the bitterness, the criticism, the negativity was never about ME as a person. It was all about her.

 

I hate the fact that she repeatedly told me throughout my childhood that I wasn't the daughter she'd always dreamed of.

 

I hate the fact that she named me after a little girl she used to look after - and that this little girl appeared to be perfect in every way.

 

I hate the fact that she used to tell us she was leaving and never did.

 

I hate the fact that she drowned her sorrows in whisky.

 

I hate the fact that after drinking, she could lurch from being a gushing "I love you so much" drunk to a spiteful "You're a waste of space, you're such a disappointment" within a matter of seconds.

 

I hate that because of that, I cannot deal with uncertainty.

 

I hate the fact that she told me to have an abortion when I fell pregnant at 25, was in a long term relationship. She told me I was too young and stupid to know what I was doing. This is despite the fact that she had my brother at 20 and me at 24. I subsequently miscarried 2 weeks later.

 

I hate the fact that nothing has ever been good enough for her.

 

And most of all, I hate the fact that she tries to 'outdo' anyone who is going through a bad patch. No matter what, she always has it worse than anyone else.

 

And I really really hate that she told me the other day that she only stays with my father out of duty, and that they had been preparing to separate before he suffered a brain injury which left him permanently disabled. She crapped on me from a great height for separating from my son's father - and now I know it was because she was bitter than I could do what I pleased, whilst she had to 'stand by her man'.

 

I'm grateful now I see all that I do - but I'm not too happy about having to have therapy to undo the damage she did to me.

[The Fafanator]

I can only relate by saying why I hate my grandmother, becuse I live with my grandparents. I hate my grandmother for being controlling and judgemental.

[mademoiselle]

I hate Mother's Day. Because on ads, there are all these women talking about how wonderful their mothers were, how they always had a shoulder to cry on, how they were their inspiration in life, how they want to grow up to be just like their mother.

 

I would kill myself if I grew up to be just like my mother. Judgemental, narrow minded, blind to all her negativity, a fountain of criticism, always "right", having not the slightest clue to what an apology is and means, for believing she knows so much about the world when in reality, she knows so little I'm ashamed for her not as my mother, but as a human being. Her self pity frustrates/angers/bores me as does her guilt tripping. I don't tell her a thing about my life because everytime something goes right, she makes no comment. Ignores it. If it goes wrong, it is always my fault. Always. Becuase I'm too fragile, too weak, too porcelain, too selfish, lacking in common sense, unaware of my surroundings.

 

But sometimes, I'm glad of all of this because it's made me realise that happiness is the single most important thing in life and if its not going to come, then I'm going to have to work for it. It's put me on a path of spirituality which has shown me that there isn't one situation in this world that you can't improve/get yourself out of. There is always a way. It's made me take responsability in life - knowing that I can't keep letting my demeaning mother put me down. There's a certain point where you have to do something about it otherwise it really does become your fault. I look at my mother now as a reminder of what I never, ever want to become. That I can be a better, caring, more encouraging and above all, a more positive person and I goddamn will. My children will not have the upbringing my mother imposed on me.

[metrogirl]

I won't go so far as to say I hate my mother, although I do seriously dislike her and everyday I pray that I never end up like her. In my younger years, I remember being hungry and only eating top ramen because it was imperative that she had money for cigarettes. She was/is a total pack rat, doesn't think much about personal hygeine and basically decided that the only thing she should do during the day is smoke and watch jewelry tv.

 

She was supposed to be taking care of my father when his health became bad, but kept buying him cigarettes so that he would give her total access to his SSI. Now my father is dead and the only family she has left is me, it's like having another child all over again. I have to remind her constantly to pick up her room, if I don't it would end up with boxes and bags of stuff up to the ceiling. I could go on and on but what is the point? My life is what it is. All I can do is strive to be the best mom and grandma to my kids and hope that they never feel about me the way I feel about her.

[rayoflight]

I am extremely angry at my mom,because she wants to be controling with me,and LOVES to use the threat-method,i think she's dumb,she's always saying how she freaking sacrifices for me,so she wants to see me sacrificed too,she is based on the i- love-you-but-hate-you-treatment,she is extremely disrespectful,and i just feel SO extremely angry at her,i hate her for being so stupid,but i love her cuz she's mom,and this sucks.I wish it would all be over already,i dont think any human being deserves to be treated this way,and i wish i had a friend,a real one to talk to about this,but i dont,and that makes me angrier.AHHH!!

AND I hate the fact that she once(the worst one,but not the only),when i was a baby kid,threatened me to call social services and to make them take me away,and i prayed to her that she didnt do it,but she made me cry my guts out,made me feel extremely bad,desperate,and i was only 5 or 6 years old,all to then ignore me and leave me crying on the floor,it bruised me so hard,and it is now i realize why im so angry at her all the time.How the hell can i solve all this crap and end well??

[rocio]

This thread has been around since the beginning of time. I guess it's about time I posted.

 

I'm not angry at my mom for anything. She's a lovely, beautiful, strong, courageous, sweet and darling woman. I owe her the world.

[Pasi Nurminen]

I hate my mother for planning and having her wedding (to her second husband) at a time when I was out of the country for about a week with the specific intent of not having me there.

 

And, just three weeks before I'm scheduled to move out (I am 21), I came home to find that she had gotten rid of my pet lovebird of nine years, my best friend in the world. I was so angry that someone could have called me and told me she had died on the way home from drinking herself silly at yet another bar and I wouldn't have cared.

[CaptainPlanet]

I don't really hate my Mum I just don't particularily like her she is kind of ignorant and really lazy I don't particularily respect that, it was ok for me and my brother to go without a lot of things compared to the other kids.. because my parents were a bit slack.

 

I can understand if they had tried their hardest, gone to University or tried to get a trade, tried to join one of the forces.. but nope nothing like that.. just had fun when they were younger and got boring jobs when older.

[candy024]

I hate my mother because she tells me that no one will ever come to my funeral because I am selfish. Lol I tell her that I will be dead and I won't care.

[BYOB]

Absolutely no real affinity

[lost1607307474]

I don't hate my mother. I love her more than anything in the world. And I'm pretty sure she loves me even more than that.

 

But I'm angry because I'm constantly disappointing her. I'm angry because I always make her sad. I'm angry because I never see her truly happy.

[emmie_g]

I am angry with my mother for having an affair when i was 10 years old and leaving me with 2 brothers and an abusive father.

[cichlid]

I'm angry with my mother with assuming false things when I've had a bad day, being paranoid and not trusting me, feeling the need to always shove her ideals down my throat, and for being a hypocrite. I'm angry with her for being overprotective and telling me I will not make it through college (last semester right now and I have a 3.85/4.00 GPA in engineering!).

[scared and alone]

I don't HATE her, we just don't really get a long. She hasnt been a mother to me since I was a child. I can't really explain her, its just, shes not my MOM. She's screwed me up so bad that I can't help but resent her.

[Daddys Girl]

I am ashamed to say that I hate my mother, when I know that it is wrong to do that, when I know that I'm supposed to honor my mother and bless her. I will try to do that so that I may live a long life.

 

I loved my mother when I was a little girl--she could do no wrong in my eyes. She was accused of having an "encounter" with my uncle, but I never believed it, even though my older brother and daddy thought so. But, looking back, I see that maybe she did...why else would they be in the living room with the lights off, making me and my brother go to bed early? I was only 4 or 5.

 

I don't remember my mother being that affectionate with me when I was little. That might account for me not feeling loved when I was little. As I got older, I felt like she was blaming me for her bladder misplacement caused by carrying me in her womb.

 

And, what was that about not taking candy from strangers bit both my parents fed me, then we went knocking on strangers doors during Halloween asking complete strangers for candy. (This dates me, doesn't it--I'm 43) And speaking of Halloween, what was that about...dressing my brother up like a girl and dressing me up like a boy? I got more attention showered on me that night than I did during the ENTIRE year! Talk about screwing up some poor kids mind!

 

ANd how come my brother got to have people over for his birthday and go off to birthday parties, but I got talked out of having birthday parties by my mother? All I ever got was cake and icecream and a song from my immediate family.

 

And why didn't she have fun with us? Why did she say "damn kids"? when my brother was chasing me and I ran to her for safety. That night I had a bad dream that I took out my eyeball...poor little girly---I just needed to be loved, not damned.

 

And why didn't she invite me, now that I'm back living in my hometown again, to New Year's dinner? Why isn't she including me? Why didn't she invite me to Thanksgiving dinner? Why did she get so mad and tell me that she was "sorry that she raised me?" I haven't done drugs, I don't drink, I've never smoked, I pray, I read my Bible...yet she says that to me then raises her hand in church on Sunday as if her conscience towards God is clear. Does she even HAVE a conscience?

 

She claims to have the Holy Spirit within her, if that is true, then why does she seem to be happy when bad things happen to me. Why do I get the sense that she WANTS me to become homeless? Why do I get the sense that she expects my muslim "husband" to kill me? Why didn't she invite me to Thanksgiving dinner without Granny Lou calling to talk to her about inviting me?

 

Excuse me, but I don't want to go to church or dinner or anything else with this woman. This is NOT the same woman who I thought was my mother when I was a teenager. I don't know this woman. She just wants to know everything about my life so she can say a prayer or a chant or something to take away every good thing in my life and make bad happen for me.

 

I lost my job, my husband, my car, my back is hurting more, I suffer from migraines, and she seems to be GLAD of all of it! She seems to want me to die and take my child from me. She's probably the reason that I had depression earlier in my life and I thought it was my daddy's fault and blamed him for every little thing wrong in my life. She always tried to portray him as the devil and herself as the angel. He was the bad guy, she was the perfect loving mother...or was she?

 

She seems jealous of me because I used to have a good job that paid a decent salary..she was jealous of me...she never came to visit me in Texas, and I had to do most of the calling. I do all of the calling now...but this too shall stop! She never comes to see me at my home, even though I am now in town, I always go over there to see her, but this too shall stop.

 

I hate my mother. This woman whose DNA I carry in my own body. She raised me to be a hypocrite, and she is the BIGGEST of them ALL! She has personality issues wherein she imitates Joyce Meyer. Hairstyle, look in her eye, the way she walks, and all. The woman is a weak woman. She married her cousin. My daddy was killed on my mother's first anniversary to this man. How freaky is that? My brother is an alcoholic who is now sober, but is suffering from pancreitis. It's inoperable. My mother seems to glory in other people's pain. Please GOD, STOP HER!!

 

Years ago, the devil, in an audible voice inside my head (yeah, I know that's weird, and that was a weird time in my life, and I am not weak willed to obey the devil, but I obey GOD instead), told me to kill her (I was looking at a picture of my mother at that time.) I broke down crying and knew that was the devil. I told my mother about it and stayed away from this hometown for many many years. I loved my mother so much back then and never entertained any murderous thought...I still don't...but I am very angry at her hateful ways.

 

Why do I hate my mother? Because she hates me!

 

Wait a minute...Jesus told us to love our enemies and do good to those who harm us. So, thereforee, I have decided that I will bless my mother and not curse her...this will both cause me to lengthen my days on earth AND heap coles of fire (kindness) upon her head.

 

Thank you God for Jesus and for this opportunity to both get my thoughts out, vent, and come back around to Your way of thinking. All the Glory and Honor and Praise be to You, dear God of Heaven!

[laisla]

i don't hate my mother

but i get angry sometimes because i feel like she's overcontrolling and wants to know everything (e.g. snooping).

[trincitee]

I've been researching about releasing pent up anger- and came accross something that said that people hold in anger to their mother because if they express it they're afraid she will leave- and that is too frightening.

 

So I want to roll with that-

PLease let me know what you're angry at (if you are,- maybe I'm off base)

 

NOTE= Nothing too recent in your life- go for the most base anger event you can remember.

 

 

I'm angry with my mother for ............. getting overinvolved and taking control of everything creative I ever tried to do when I was young.

 

I think hating one's mother is pretty low. I would only do it if she did something really bad or morally abhorrent to either me or one of my siblings.