help me!

[blueberrypie]

It's been long time since last time I wrote here. I've been trying to be busy and thought that I got over him. I realized that I was still loving and missing him, but I wasn't desperate about getting back together with him.

For the people who don't remember my story, my ex-bf of 10 months broke up with me in the end of May because he was going abroad for 6 months and he didn't believe in long-distance relationships. He wasn't supposed to come back till mid-December, but I found out that he might be back. Thanks to facebook's new feature, I didn't even have to his personal webpage to see that he was 'at home'. Since I saw that, I can't stop thinking about him. I thought he would contact me after he comes back. I feel like I've been dumped all over again. Still, I'm still waiting for his contact which makes me really anxious and depressed. I was doing NC and didn't reply to his email 40 days ago. But two days ago, I finally replied to his email saying if he's missing home. I know, it was cheap, but for some obscure reason, I really wanted to know that if he's back. If he's back I want to see if we still have chance. I'm not gonna beg or cling. I'll simply ask him where we stand now. Since the only reason of the breakup given by him was him going abroad, he wanted to leave the possibility of getting back together open when he comes back. Can I just send him an email saying I found out that he might be back and was wondering where we stand? Does this seem too desperate?

I'm so upset about myself that 3 months of working on myself just fall down like this. help me!

[in_the_mirror]

i would say yes e-mail him if you want, but don't tell him you know he's been back, just tell him that you are still in love with him and you just wanted to know if it was a lost cause to still care for him so much. because otherwise he might feel like he is being stalked or something if you tell him you know he is back.

[Scout]

What did his last email from 40 days ago say?

[Jayar]

I personally think if he was in love with you as someone who DESERVES you would be, he'd get in touch with you. If he doesnt, well then he's just not that into you... On to the next chap!

[blueberrypie]

in_the_mirror: thanks for the quick reply. I'm writing an email not including the fact that I know he might be back. I'll try not to send it right away. Just want to see what I'd like to say.

 

Scout: he was all nonchalant. He said he would love to hear how's my life here if I had time since he's so out of loop there. But since it was just 'being-polite-to-your-ex' message, I didn't reply. But I thought I could use that as an excuse. maybe a bad excuse, but still an excuse.

 

Jayar: I get your point. But since he thought I was really mad at him when he left, it would take a lot of courage for him to contact me first--especially after me not responding him. I thought I could send one email to check if he's really not that into me and if it turns out that that's the case I can move on. Just doublecheck. If he's already moved on, what is there to lose?

[blueberrypie]

just talked to a mutual friend and found out that it was false alarm. He's probably still there. Not so good thing to know that I'm still here caring so much about him.