I know what the girls want.

[koolaidnovel]

Girls want someone who's freaking CONFIDENT and doesn't *seem* to give a _______ about what anyone thinks. Someone is hot when they can AT LEAST feign confidence or arrogance. They don't even have to be that good looking. A good-looking person is not that hot when they're not confident.

[ShroomzGod]

Girls want someone who's freaking CONFIDENT and doesn't *seem* to give a _______ about what anyone thinks. Someone is hot when they can AT LEAST feign confidence or arrogance. They don't even have to be that good looking. A good-looking person is not that hot when they're not confident.

 

This is also great advice, this girl knows what she's talking about. You don't have to be great looking. As I said before it's sll body language at the start. I can go to a bar and pick out the guys who get action just by how they stand. Girls see this too better than men, so think about what girls are seeing.

 

I would, however, disagree with the arrogance. A little is good but not too much.

 

I also agree with HL21. Jerks may get girls at the start because they show the things I've been talking about, but, once a girl finds out a guys true colors, she may stick around for awhile but it won't last. If you can do these things we've been saying you'll pick them up in no time. After that they'll find out you have a good heart and want to stick around. Good luck my friend.

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

Speaking Personally I was told "Your way too good a friend to mess things up with a relationship" honest answer or clever excuse, the jury is still out but if I'm single and I approach a female, I'm looking for more than a friendship.

 

To be perfectly honest, I have in the past told guys that because I simply wasn't attracted to them, but it would be to harsh to say that. So I lie and tell them they're "so nice" but I "don't want to ruin the friendship". It may not even be true that they're nice.

 

But when I find that an actual nice guy is attracted to me, and I'm also attracted to him, then that's a different story, then I don't make excuses, then I date him.

[steelwool]

Sometimes I'll see the prettiest women hand to hand with some crazy jerk. He'll be yelling/complaining about some nonsense and trying to make her feel bad. What I get from it is that the women, even though they're attractive have self-esteem issues.

 

Alot of jerks get over because of this weakness. You can kind of blame women(themselves) for being weak(too subtle) at flirting and not making their interest actually noticeable. Nice guys are not going to blindly chase you, but an arrogant jerk will.

[now_better]

what feels like 1000 yrs ago (5 yrs ago), i still remember how i won over my ex while in college.

 

a) wow, cute girl in my class (in a computer science class?!?!)

b) contemplate... discuss game plan w/ roomies

c) we happened to be at TA office hrs and i invited her to come over to study

d) then invited her over for dinner (my roommate can make pizza from scratch... i'm a decent assistant chef)

 

at this point, my memory gets sort of fuzzy, but i remember a) buying her postcards to every city i visited on spring break (san fran, vegas, yosemite, etc), b) long phone conversations w/ her when i got back (casual, funny, acting confident when i was super nervous), c) many e-mails just saying random things (i still have these...), d) coming to visit her and bringing her little presents (krispy kreme doughnuts, strawberries, etc)

 

4 months after i first met her + summer began and i saw her with another guy that i thought might be her b/f and i told her that i just need some space to rethink things since i didn't even know she had a b/f... what did she do? she told me that she broke up w/ him and wanted to be w/ me... shock...

 

lessons learned:

a) take risks!!! coming from a guy that's super shy, it was definitely going way beyond my comfort zone doing many things i did

b) like all the ladies above say confidence and humor are golden

c) most importantly, be yourself... you don't want someone falling for someone that you're not

 

now i just have to remind myself these things as i've recently found myself on the singles market again.

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

Yeah, that's pretty much true.

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

Girls want someone who's freaking CONFIDENT and doesn't *seem* to give a _______ about what anyone thinks. Someone is hot when they can AT LEAST feign confidence or arrogance. They don't even have to be that good looking. A good-looking person is not that hot when they're not confident.

 

That's not what I want at all!

[OceanEyes]

There are SO many topics circulating this forum right now on this exact subject - and the women here are always going to tell you the same exact things, over and over and over again.

 

Something that is almost impossible to convince a man of, is that most women go on the feeling she gets when she meets you. Are you weird? Do you give off an icky feeling that she doesn't like? Are you trying too hard, or seem too nervous? Do you appear self-conscious or lacking confidence? All of these factors play a HUGE role in how a woman FEELS while in your presense. What you do and say, how you act, etc. means absolutely nothing if you give off a "weird" or "icky" vibe. The only way you're going to be successful in the dating world if you DO, is if you realize it and find a girl who appreciates those qualities. Some guys I know just give off a "vibe". We'll all like the guy, but none of my girlfriends would ever date him. Kind of like the character "Skipper" from Sex and the City.

 

I always hear men making the same claims:

 

"I'm smart, attractive, and always treat women with respect ... I'm told that I'm handsome and funny ... so why do I always get rejected?"

 

The simplest answers are:

 

- You're trying to date out of your league. And, I don't mean this in the traditional "she's too good for you" sense, because that isn't what I mean. I mean, that you're obviously on very different wavelengths, and because she's a woman, she FEELS it right away. Understandably, a man usually thinks that, as long as he's polite/ funny/ interesting/ respectful/ whatever, that it should strike up some interest. It doesn't automatically do that.

 

- You give off a "weird" or "icky" vibe. Again, this isn't your fault, but you're probably best off finding a woman who doesn't mind this, or even is a bit of a weird or icky girl herself.

 

- You don't seem interesting (sorry, but it's true). If she feels that she has to babysit or keep the conversation going, or that it will be too 'unnatural', it doesn't make her want to spend excess amounts of time with you.

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

Holy Moley...avoid *techniques*, that's low.

 

The best advice I can give you to not get in a relationship is to live only for yourself. That is NOT saying *be mean and selfish*. It's saying CLEARLY giving out the message that you are a fun, happy person who takes care of themselves, and girls, you can take or leave them, you don't need a relationship. That's the kind of thing your behaviour needs to shout out.

 

This may not apply to everyone, but the unintentional eccentricity I display has attracted many people. Be weird and be wanted? Possibly. Worked for me.

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

Having read OceanEyes' contribution, I'm one of the weird ones. Lovin' those vibes.

[OceanEyes]

I didn't actually mean "weird" in the dictionary sense. Being different/ mysterious/ having bizarre interests/ strange job, etc. can be very attractive because it sets you apart from the masses.

 

I suppose I meant "weird" in the sense that someone gives off an uncomfortable vibe.

 

Then again, if you meet someone who is on the same wavelength, it all works out.

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

I have yet to meet them, but I enjoy seducing people in that sense. Nice pastime so it is