binky123 Posted September 18, 2006 Share Posted September 18, 2006 Did you agree to stop reading or watching romance novels and movie with hot male actors? Maybe he wouldn't like the idea of you watching these guys and thinks you should want only him. Or is just the sex and nudity that makes the difference? It is the sex, the nudity and the status of the female in the shoot. The man saying things like "take my big...you dirty ...tell me your a ...choke on my big..." while proceeding to spit on the women and then shoot them in the face with a blast of... It is vile. In romance movies and novels the women do not have to be debased for the man to climax. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
binky123 Posted September 18, 2006 Share Posted September 18, 2006 Wow! How did you get ur bf to stop!?! Wish I could do that! Lol It bothers me a little that my bf looks at porn, but I figure there are worst things that he could be doing. It's not like as if he's going to cheat on me with any of those girls anyways! And like it was already said, men see the girls in porn more as visual help for gratification, and not for 'real' persons. Looking at porn can lead to using prostitutes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
binky123 Posted September 18, 2006 Share Posted September 18, 2006 It still warrents to say that pictures arent real, they're fantasies. Doom didnt kill kids in columbine. Grand theft auto doesnt kill real life cops. Porn doesnt make him a cheater. If we're going to defame men for viewing porn, we should be consistent and defame them for masturbating period. They're simulating the act of sex stimulation wise, and since it's not with his partner then it's not fair for her is it? Dr. Phil says looking at porn is cheating. Look it up on his website. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
binky123 Posted September 18, 2006 Share Posted September 18, 2006 There's a major difference between being *naturally wired to favour visual stimulation as a man* and deliberately looking at porn. MAJOR difference - the latter is a choice. Any man who respects a woman he is with will respond in the positive to a reasonable request to stop. End of. (I'm not someone willing to change my opinion, I'm a close minded whatever) My husband is a porn freak. He looks at it all the time. Not just normal stuff either gross hard core s&m bondage stuff. Its so gross. It really hurts my feelings that he does it. He hides it too. He knows I don't like that he looks at the stuff, I have told him. My therapist even told him it was a problem in our marriage. But...did he stop? Of course not. He even solicited a women/prostitute/pornstar on craigslist to meet up with him. It is a big deal and men need to realize that it is a big deal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newo Ikkin Posted September 18, 2006 Share Posted September 18, 2006 Verity...you put that pic up... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AntiLove_SuperStar Posted September 18, 2006 Share Posted September 18, 2006 binky...he isn't going to change. Ever. My sincerest wishes that you'd leave him..? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doyathink Posted September 18, 2006 Share Posted September 18, 2006 Some will tell you that they have stopped when in reality, they just learned to hide it better! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InaneCathode Posted September 19, 2006 Share Posted September 19, 2006 Dr. Phil says looking at porn is cheating. Look it up on his website. Lol, Dr. Phil says alot of things Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
g44 Posted September 19, 2006 Share Posted September 19, 2006 if u know what she/he is as a person...if u know who she/he is maybe that will give u a clue...i have seen a total range of behaviours and reasons why people view porn. for example: many years ago, i was at a stage party and someone threw in a tape and within a minute 90 % of the people there left and did other things [i was one of them]. a half hour later i walked back to where the tv was and there were two guys just staring at the tv with crazy intense eyes. i asked one of them, what the heck was going on..and he said to me...'man, i've been watching this for 1/2 hour and this guy still has come yet, i want to know how he can do that'...so, i turned and watched what he was watching for one minute, and then i started to laugh..i told him 'have u not realized that what u are watching is looped? they are showing u the same things over and over'. i reached over and gave him a beer and said lets go play some table top hockey. i think everyone watching and gets something different from porn. for some they get excited, for some it simply a visual [guys are more visual when it comes to sex], some what to see something real, some like something fake, some are just curious, some see it as discovery, some see it as just part of sexuality, some feel degraded, some feel assured, some only enjoy it when a partner is included, some use it to discover more about the person they are with, some find it gross, some find it sexy, some think its ok if they watch but not if someone else does, some masturbate to it, some fall asleep, some people is it as carnal pleasure, some see it a unneccesaary. all this to say that everyone is unique. if u want to be with someone and just be who they are, then if they watch something, that is part of the deal. but if u are in a relastionship where one watching makes u feel unsettled, all u really have to do - is ask them to stop. because it should be obvious to u and obvious to them that one thing is important and one thing is not. if know communication is given and judgements are made...then everything else that needs work will be treated the same way, the same method, with the same outcome - and that means it is over. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InaneCathode Posted September 20, 2006 Share Posted September 20, 2006 Why can't they have actually stopped? why do people think so badly of men. Preach it sister Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazybeautiful Posted September 24, 2006 Share Posted September 24, 2006 I feel the same way binky.... I asked my husband to stop and he just did it behind my back until i caught him. So i told him id divorce him if it didnt stop. Sounds a little harsh but he finally understood how i felt about it. It makes me feel sad and i think its disgusting. Makes me feel like what we do isn't anything special i just find it demeaning. Some people don't have a problem with it and thats fine. For those of us that do have a problem with porn its important our partner understands that. Plus giving up porn isn't too much to ask either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doyathink Posted September 24, 2006 Share Posted September 24, 2006 I couldnt have said it any better. You have totally put it out there in a way I couldnt and maybe others will be able to understand now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms. Babydoll Posted September 25, 2006 Share Posted September 25, 2006 I love my bf very much, and he loves me. I have always been insecure and jealous. He gave up porn for me. I just wondered if anyone else gets jealous of porn? I hate the idea of him watching and imaging someone else. In my mind he should only want me. Any opinions? x I think it's completely natural to be jealous but sometimes you just have to deal with that jealously and accept that porn is something your partner enjoys. My boyfriend barely ever looks at porm but when he does I don't seem to mind that much, I guess it's alright for your partner to have the odd peek now and then, let them have that at least, but let them know you don't want it happening often. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ItsonlyME Posted September 25, 2006 Share Posted September 25, 2006 P o r n - When your husband does it behind your back... When your husband hides stuff, files, movies on the computer... When your husband prefers porn to you... When your husband spends more time in his little cyber world than he actually spends with you in bed... When your husband thinks porn is what women and sex are really about... When your husband says 'All men do it!'... You have a major problem there and girl, you need to worry. Jealousy??! You bet!!! Ok, most porn stars are beautiful but I see beautiful women everywhere and out there in the REAL world too. Even at the grocery store! So let's not spend too much time on beauty. The thing is... when your man is into porn on a reg basis, he is escaping the real world. He does not want to deal with a real person, a real woman. He doesn't want to deal with you! Selfishness comes to mind. In a way I pity my husband. To have to come down to this... porn addiction... because you are afraid to invest in your relationship. Or because you are too lazy to do so? Or it's too much work? Or because he doesn't want to deal with the fact I AM tired, overworked, unappreciated, etc. This is real life, remember? Full of problems, worries and stuff. ANd why on earth am I the only one who has to spice things up??!! Women dress up for their man but mine doesn't dress up for me. It's not because I have been 22 years with him that I find him ATTRACTIVE when he dresses like a hobo and doesn't brush his teeth when he comes to bed. He has put on weight too over the years as I have done too. Well perhaps I find him FAT too. Sheesh. Women on the screen go oooohhhhh and ahhhhh and they make him feel like a real man I suppose. What a joke. I would be curious to know how men would react at finding out their lovely and charming partners have a porn addiction. Not sure the men would be as understanding and accepting as some of the women....................... This is my 2 cents. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazybeautiful Posted September 25, 2006 Share Posted September 25, 2006 I totally agree with you. I know if i had pictures of naked men or even watched naked guys my husband would flip. So i find it very selfish of him not to understand why i get upset when he watchs porn. Why does he think its okay for him to do it? Men are retards. *Doyathink: I thought about telling my husband that too. Im pregnant right now and it's a little girl. I wonder how he would feel if she was posing for a bunch of perverts. Its just sick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
schmandy Posted September 30, 2006 Share Posted September 30, 2006 Don't feel bad at all about feeling that way about porn. To each their own. Personally, I don't mind even watching it WITH my husband. But I do respect other people's reactions to it. Some sources say that it's a form of "cheating". For us, we use it to help us get off. Sorry if that's too blunt for some people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cesar Posted October 30, 2006 Share Posted October 30, 2006 I love my bf very much, and he loves me. I have always been insecure and jealous. He gave up porn for me. I just wondered if anyone else gets jealous of porn? I hate the idea of him watching and imaging someone else. In my mind he should only want me. Any opinions? x it's just a fantasy it's nothing to do with love towards you men need those things from time to time, but believe me it's nothing to do with love no te preocupes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deemjay Posted October 31, 2006 Share Posted October 31, 2006 Sex is a natural instinct and being turned on my other women or men is simply instinct. Being turned on and loving them is another matter. Our base instincts drive us to many partners because this is why we have populated the planet - it's natural. Porn has made looking at other "animals" easy for us. If looking at pictures/movies means he or she isn't out there finding the "real" thing than surely it's good right? Being obsessed by it is a little odd. For example, I live away from my girlfriend who I love very much. I have looked at porn during my time apart (and other associated things because it helps me keep check on my feelings. I would never cheat on her. She knows about it and accepts it's one of those things. Sleeping with someone you love is a million times better than any porn right? Just accept that love and sex are indipendent - love WITH sex is the best thing! The sexy girl selling toothpaste in a TV advert? That's porn right? Designed to turn people on to buying the product. The cute guy with the six pack selling aftershave is designed to turn the woman on to buying that aftershave for the man in her life. It's all porn at different levels. We are all looking to breed but generally when we as animals find a partner that suits we stick with them because love WITH sex is the best! Make your own porn with your partner (not movies or pics unless you want to ). Just ask each other what turns you on - make a few spare hours and enjoy each other. Eventually he or she will centre YOU as the focus of their fantasy - Their pornogrophy! It's very normal - try not worry too much eh? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wayne Posted November 2, 2006 Share Posted November 2, 2006 I came to bed not long ago and got the two of us into a couple of new positions. She rather liked them. "Where did that come from?", she asked with a smile once she caught her breath. "I saw it in a movie", I said. And it was obvious that by "movie", I meant "porn video". She doesn't have a problem with me watching porn now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spugly Fuglet Posted November 2, 2006 Share Posted November 2, 2006 Me as I have said many time porn is mind rotting pap, what has aways worred me is that porn is like a long hall way, most of us stand in one end where theres lots of light, there porn is riscay sceens in a film, erotic storys and arty photos and nudes, but as some work down the hall it gets darker and what's down there gets darker to mach. that's my take on porn mind rotting pop Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hateithere Posted November 3, 2006 Share Posted November 3, 2006 My hubby gave it up for me too. I consider looking at porn cheating! They shouldn't want to look at anyone else if they want to be with us! We are special, and if they wanna look somewhere else, they should just go on and be with someone else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazybeautiful Posted November 5, 2006 Share Posted November 5, 2006 ughhh you know i thought my husband had given it up for me but he obviously hasn't. I came home from work early and caught him! Guess he's been hiding it behind my back for 2 months. It's sick and I consider it cheating! Im almost 8 * * * *ing months pregnant and he's being a sick little pervert! Sorry i just needed to vent and i really need someone to talk to Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chele Posted November 11, 2006 Share Posted November 11, 2006 I totally understand what you are saying. I was with a guy for several years and was so jealous of him viewing porn. I couldn't stand it but he seemed to assert that it was his right and none of my business. I couldn't stay with him because I thought I should be enough for him. You are lucky your man is understanding and gave it up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
InaneCathode Posted November 13, 2006 Share Posted November 13, 2006 Geh, i can't watch much porn anymore. Knowing how special it is (sex) for my gf, watching some actress get paid for it on camera makes me kinda ill. I use it occasionally anymore as purely a visual aid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
girl1984 Posted November 19, 2006 Share Posted November 19, 2006 My boyfriend 'gave' up porn for me too or so I believed. But recently I found another movie he has watched & had a quarrel over that. I believe that he cannot stop watching over it once in a while & no matter what he promises, I will not believe him. Sometimes I say to myself... just let him do what the hell he wants but when I think of him watching it, its gets up my stomach too! What can we do with these men?? I am going to start watching some hot cute male bodies myself... maybe he ll discover that someday & feel jealous too.. that way he might truly give up porn.. not because I am obliging him to but because he wants to. If not... than I do not know what to do... consider leaving him??? I really cannot!! Sooo confused :S Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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