jetais Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 Hi everyone, I never had any problems with any of the girls I've dated before by telling me their past no matter how explicit it is. Now I have a new girlfriend, awesome personality, sweet, thoughtful and caring. First time I fell for someones total personality. Except this is also the first time Im bothered by someone's past with other guys. She was taken advantage of and used. She tells me she never had "sex" with any of them but just fooled around, oral and fingering. She kept falling for thesame trick. She was hurt emotionally so many times. I felt so bad for her for being taken advantage of, she seems to be naive and helpless. OMG I just cant stand helpless people and people who take advantage of helpless people!!! I just wanted her to have a strong integrity and better moral judgement in the future. For some reason, knowing what happened to her in the past doesnt make me comfortable fooling around with her anymore. I have great respect for her and I do care for her. Regardless of what will happen between our relationship now that if in the future she makes thesame mistake again as she did before, I would feel very upset, sad and wanting to kick anyones butt who hurts her. Our relationship is so smooth, almost perfect except for this concern of mine. What if our relationship doesnt work out and someone might take advantage of her again and treat her wrong? Who's gonna watch over her? I feel like I have to watch over her so she would be happy and be treated right with anyone shes with. I mean how can anyone treat her like crap before? shes such a sweet girl! Anyways its been bothering me... -_- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meow18 Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 Sometimes when you are sweet and nice, it's easy to get taken advantage of. But hopefully after so much of it she has learned how to not let it happen. You can't protect her from the world. She needs to make her own mistakes and learn on her own. All you can do is be a respectful boyfriend and not allow yourself to take advantage of her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Siriana Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 Well if you're treating her right hopefully she will learn - thanks to you - what respect in relationship means. And let's hope that she is ready for that very important lesson. Don't worry about what will happen if.... You simply can't force a person to see what is so obviously to you. If someone is not ready to improve at the moment you think is right for that person than the only thing you can do is to hope that in the future this person will sort his or hers problems out when he or she is ready. I mean she has to come to that conclusion alone - you can't protect her from herself. If you guys one day brake up than the only thing you can do is hope that she learned something while dating you and that it will help her reaching some important coclusions. I hope it makes sense... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
savannahohsavannah Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 You are going with a blame the victim mentality. I think you should just forget about the past. Who you are today and who you were yesterday could be two different things. Do you always worry so much? It's not like you are going to marry this chick and leave her in charge of a fortune that she might let her next lovers fritter away after you die, is it? So be still! Savannah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WalkingWithGod Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 Jetis, I am so glad you are trying to take care of her. First off, you are making the right move by not "fooling around" with her. By this point she probable thinks that this is all guys want and she is willing to do it as long as she can be in a relationship she feels secure in. One of my ex's was so convinced that guys only wanted to "fool around" that when I didn't she broke off the relationship because she thought I didn't care for her. I was in the relationship with her for 3 months and after she broke off the relationship she realized that I actually did care for her more than any of the other guy's she had dated. A year later by not "fooling around" with her she looks at relationships much differently and has finally found what I believe is a good boyfriend that takes care of her. Anyways the best thing you can do to protect her is to let her be who she is and make sure you treat her well without "fooling around" with her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momene Posted September 6, 2006 Share Posted September 6, 2006 It was part of her growing up and doesn't have to be part of her present or future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now