Has anyone fallen back in love with their spouse after having fallen out? Affair?

[Alive2]

and many of these value conflicts disappear ... the definitions and practice of monogamy, polyamory and polygamy become irrelevant ... it's just a matter of negotation between consenting adults ... you have different relationships for different needs ... expecting one person to fulfill all needs is simply irrational ... "marriage" and "monogamy" are concepts invented when people died at age 21 ... are they still relevant today?

[helpless1]

Human: I am in the exact same position that you are in: married to a nice man, good father, good provider, good friend, same interests, etc. We have been married for 8 years now and there really isn't any arguing going on in the home. Unfortunately, I have fallen out of love with him. I, too, cringe when he touches me or even kisses me. It hasn't always been like that, though. I have been to counseling and read what I could on the Internet and in books to help me get that love back. Everything I've read says you just need to want to fall back in love with your spouse, but how in the heck is one supposed to do that? I've tried to force myself but just can't seem to get that feeling back. We take vacations together without the children, spend time with friends (without the children), go on dates, etc but all to no avail. I know that I will get blasted for this, but I ended up having an affair, which has lasted almost 6 months. It started off as a friendship and quickly grew. I've recently stopped this relationship in the hopes that I can reconnect at home. Have been trying to do so, but I don't have those same kind of feelings for my husband that I do for the paramour. I do believe the other guy is my soul mate and I look at him in a way that I never looked at my husband. I just don't know how to make it work at home. I want those feelings there --- they just aren't. I feel lost and sorry that I have had an extramarital relationship, b/c it is not something I ever in a million years would have thought I would do or believed it was right for anyone to do.

I'm a wreck and need answers, too. The answers I've found thus far haven't been too enlightening.

[gumdrops_and_lollipops]

Human and Helpless,

 

I am in noway qualified to be giving anyone advice but I would like to share my story with you very quickly. I have been with the same man for 20 years ..married 13...I know exactly what you are both going through. But for me I am in a bigger situation that just falling out of love with my husband...who also is the worlds greatest father..partner and MAN. Feelings of not wanting him touching or kissing me is also what I feel. I however met somone on the internet over 2 years ago and its been misery. Yea it first it was HOT and Exciting...but feelings for him developed. Well..here I am 2 years later trying to put some closure on this person who refuses to speak to me as an adult and tell me that its over. Doesnt matter what kind of person he is...What matters is that he lied to me about a future and I bought into it...hook line and sinker...My advice to you...Focus on kids...jobs and other things until your can get back to whats important. For me it was to late and I am left with hurt feelings and a loss of myself to someone who in the end didnt give 2 S***ts about me. Because in the end my husband..knowing that I was with another man...supports me and loves me to the very end. Please read my story in brief...Married Men...Cowardly Lies!