NKP Posted September 4, 2006 Share Posted September 4, 2006 I cant fake a smile no more Sick of acting happy when i am not Tears running down my face I am just another girl That has lost her soul Dont think i can get it back Leave i dont need/want you help You cant make smile You will only make me cry Do you know whats its like to cry every night? I do and i cant stand it, i am sick of crying So please let me be I dont want to be happy anymore I am use to being depressed Today is a good day to end it all The dad after fathers day Its hurts so much to see other kids with there fathers Well i just cry and pray to die No longer do i need to pray Coz i am not going to be here much longer I am ending it all So yous can feel the way i do Then you will understand I am like this for a reason Its time to go I am ending it all now Bye bye friends Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TruckStopCheckFinal Posted September 4, 2006 Share Posted September 4, 2006 While I know it is good to express your feelings and how you feel this really depresses me, All your posts are sad, depressing and about ending your life. I wish it was more positive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Managor Posted September 4, 2006 Share Posted September 4, 2006 I've been through a lot of what you have. Hang in there Kita Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NKP Posted September 4, 2006 Author Share Posted September 4, 2006 yep i hve been throw this far so i am not goingto end it all now, its the only way i can get out how i feel with out harming myself, i havent even been thinking about harming myself in a while now Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caring person Posted September 4, 2006 Share Posted September 4, 2006 I once felt the same way you did too. Here is what I did to change it. This totally warded off the depression. I made sure I got at least 20 minutes of sun on my skin each day, I guess it produces vitamin E and other things. I also started walking for about 20 minutes too while I was getting the sun. The theory behind it is that it breaks up the sedantary fecal matter that is poisoning your bloodstream and making you feel depressed (constipation). But don't worry, as soon as you start you will begin to feel a benefit. I began taking a one a day vitamin, and most importantly, prayed to God for help and thanked God for the blessings of life and family. If you want to or need too, talk to a therapist or priest/pastor if none of these suggestions seem to help. Take care and God bless, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blender Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 Can I ask if there is ANYTHING in your life you are thankful for? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NKP Posted September 5, 2006 Author Share Posted September 5, 2006 I am thankful i have a roof over my head, food infront of me, a bed to sleep in, warm clothes for when i am cold, that i am still alive, that i have a family even tho its a mess. What am i spose to be thankful my dad ended his life? and since then my family isnt together, everyone in my family has depression pretty much, dont talk to most of them. Am i spose to be thankful my mother has a heart prob? Am i spose to be thankful my nana turned off my fathers life surport machine? Am i spose to be thankful for some i trusted raped me? Well guess what i cant be thankful for any of them Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnotherBrokenDoll Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 Well i once again love both your poems as sad as they are. I know how you mean about they express how you feel rather then you putting those words into action you write. I love both your poems they both hit very close to home for me. But i love the first one. Keep up the great work Kita! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SkylinesTurnstiles Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 Aww.I love your poems.Keep going Kita Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blender Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 Kita, it's nice to know you are grateful for what you do have, like your family (all families are messed up, granted some more than others) and you do have a roof over your head, food on your plate, but I am so so sorry about all you have suffered through in your life. I'm sorry about your father. But he would want you to be stronger than he, and have the courage to keep going as you are, and make your own life better. Depression is a horrible thing to deal with, but there is ALWAYS HOPE... YOU represent HOPE, to your family.. even if you don't know it yet.. you do... so keep trying as you are to get through each day, and once in awhile, smile at someone and say "Hi, how are you doing?" Even if it's someone in your own family, because the "healing" can start with you, reaching out, instead of looking inward... maybe it will help just a little. Again, I'm sorry for all you have been through, but keep writing your poems, there is so much power in them... you are powerful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yeawutever Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 You're so talented, wouldn't you wanna share your poems if you get to go to counseling?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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