Boughtandpaidfor Posted September 3, 2006 Share Posted September 3, 2006 But it has to be written You're a big guy- goodlooking and.... hot actually. You steal the show whenever you're around I'm sure That's bad enough for me. See.... I'm not really goodlooking- not exactly I'm what they call cute- I'm brighteyed but soft round the edges So when you're in the room and you're being the man Well, you make me feel, less than you, see. Now that's bad enough for me, for one. I have to face the fact that I'm not the alpha white today And I got used to my little castle I don't like giving up my throne. You're not the first to take it though- But you're the first to mess up my furniture The first to force me to see how fragile my rule is But it's worse than this oh yes It's so much more sweaty and masculine than my ego See I saw you- saw you beat that guy I had his blood on my hands I cried- when you fought and won I went home with that guy's blood on my hands and cried And felt sick for a week And still feel sick 8 months later I don't get to condone violence- that's not allowed But hey, I saw real power that night I saw what it means to control things Not yourself, you couldnt control yourself But what you did had no consequences for you I tried to pull you off that guy But I couldn't even do that. I feel so weak every time I think of you What you did was disgusting I'm playing the moral high ground But I want to be like you. I will meet you again soon maybe If I don't find some way to avoid it I'm not sure which is gonna make me weaker. Some days I dream about beating you down But most days I want you to beat me So I can feel really helpless So I can be free So I can see where I really am in the scheme of things So I can finally accept my place in the world I cant help the body I was born with I'm so close to not being envious of you What will lift this illusion? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blender Posted September 3, 2006 Share Posted September 3, 2006 What will lift this "illusion" you ask? Accepting the truth, that it IS an ILLUSION. Choose to think differently and the miracle will be yours... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yeawutever Posted September 5, 2006 Share Posted September 5, 2006 Interesting poem, I like it!!!!!! But yea, what is really the illusion?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boughtandpaidfor Posted September 6, 2006 Author Share Posted September 6, 2006 The illusion is the mental processes and habits we go through I think. I get mad and angry and yet I have all this jealousy and admiration as well. Which is more real is up to me, and in fact having both of those feelings is an illusion I have chosen. Neither of them are doing any good- but I'm holding on to them. It's very easy to say - lift the illusion. But it takes more than some middleclass education and a few self help books and scouring the internet. Or even attending a meditation class- or taking lots off drugs. None of it will be enough. So what truly must be done? It's a simple choice in the end but like the lyrics said- "I'm a flag in the wind that won't blow" And- this is the worst thing- if you ever realise what must be done, would you do it? Because it's probably the hardest thing you'll ever do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ipso Fracto Man Posted September 11, 2006 Share Posted September 11, 2006 A good modernistic narrative. I identified strongly with Ego but failed to commiserate in his envy for the antagonist. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scout Posted September 14, 2006 Share Posted September 14, 2006 A good modernistic narrative. I agree. And an unflinchingly honest one, at that. I liked this, very much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ForAnother Posted September 15, 2006 Share Posted September 15, 2006 Nice! Edit: looked at this poem from a different perspective. re-read and realized my mistake. -ForAnother Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
g44 Posted September 16, 2006 Share Posted September 16, 2006 why is there a conflict? what is the driver behind all that...it looks like you have uncovered the puzzle now how do u fit those pieces together in a way that helps...it is the conflict between the dueling emotions that creates choas...pull them apart...see what is attached to each one...why that is...and whether or not you can bend them to suit what u need and make sure that in the end u control them - not the other way around...and let someone help with that...sometimes all we need is a footprint in the snow to walk by our self Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meant_to_love Posted September 16, 2006 Share Posted September 16, 2006 Its great that you can write out those deep feelings and thoughts. It just takes some learning to love, accept, improve and just be free to be Yourself. : ) Try not to compare. humm.. i like the cute, bright-eyed, soft, slender, boyish men type myself... however they have to have so many more important inner qualities too that brave through that exterior. But, thats Just Me, so you see? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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