porn, sex toys & masturbation in marriage

[BrokenWingedFaery]

I'm ok with porn (of the legal variety. Kiddie porn would result in the...erm, well, my boyfriend/husband would be a gelding if I were to find that * * * *) and masturbation, use of toys, and so on and so forth but not to the point where there's no physical intimacy in the relationship.

 

Openness is important. I'd like to know what my partner's doing (mostly so we can do it together sometime...hehe), but it's ok if they do it alone and whatever.

[Aurian]

To me, its a question of degree.

 

Some porn might be okay. However, a LOT of it, or kiddie porn, or violent stuff would scare me off. Also, it would bother me if he seemed more attracted physically to the fake women than to me.

 

Similarily, I'm sure a guy would feel there is a difference between a little vibrating toy and a 6 foot dildo.

[Daddy Bear]

Is your question an attempt to root out what we feel is worse, masturbation while committed or lack of openness?

i just wanted to find out the reasons some people go for option A when B seemed so much more beneficial. to be honest, the openness factor hadn't occurred to me, and it goes a long way in answering my question.

[justpaisley]

i just wanted to find out the reasons some people go for option A when B seemed so much more beneficial. to be honest, the openness factor hadn't occurred to me, and it goes a long way in answering my question.

 

Option b is only beneficial if the opposing partner in question is interested in participating in the activities mentioned. While not every woman has the vehement moral and ethical opposition to porn that I do, certainly not every woman would be interested in watching porn. Even if they weren't interested, but didn't mind their partner's illicit activities, in your rhetorical situation, the elephant in the room is still the lack of openness and honesty resulting in secrecy. I don't see a perfect choice in either option... neither really mentions full resolution. If the opposing partner in both options is uncomfortable with the activities mentioned, then participation isn't exactly resolution.

 

I'm sorry - am I taking this too far? I'm gonna play the baby card again... very little sleep enables me to both overthink and overstate things.

[Daddy Bear]

naw, i follow you. i don't know that i'd use the word "illicit", and i didn't mean to imply any deliberate deception in my premise (i should have said "on the dresser" instead of "in the drawer"), but i offered the choice of going off and sucking it up and you answered honestly. i totally appreciate your responses.

[Salty]

B for both!