Can a relationship work if only one half tries?

[99ways2killasuperhero]

Ive been dating this girl for a little over a month, and I sacrificed a lot to just be able to ask her out. When I say sacrifice I mean cut things off with some girls who had a thing for me.

 

So my girlfriend and I had a good first month, but then this whole time thing came in. She has tennis all day while I basically sit around. We had a talk last thursday how shes not going to have a lot of time for hanging, and I was fine with that, but I asked that if she did have an evening, a few hours, anything that she would call me. So the next day she comes over for lunch and everything seems alright. That was the last time I saw her. She called me a few times, I tried to get a date with her during the weekend, but her "girls" came up a few times. Her girls is something I had a problem with when I was trying to date her friend. Ive come to the conclusion that they aren't lesbians, they just watch the same (dumb) movie every night and talk gossip and crap just like they do when they are online or on the phone.

 

Basically I feel like Im keeping my schedule open, trying to make a date, an appearance, something while she goes off with her "girls." For the third night in a row I sat around since all my other friends have evening/night jobs and shes got girl things. But then its not just the girls, last night she had a family thing during the day, and some church thing during the evening, but then she goes to a get together with 4 of my friends (who I introduced to her) and she or any of them invite me over.

 

Am I just wasting my time? Did I spend the last 6 months winning her over for nothing? Every girl Ive dated said I was the perfect boyfriend, I did everything right, cept for the whole I didnt want to date them anymore thing. And all of those girls gave me atleast 3-4 days a week, just a few hours, if not even a whole hour to just sit down and talk.

 

I dont want to lose this girl because she is a joy to be around, and I have never felt this way before about a girl Ive dated. She lightens everyone spirits, and many guys have come up to me and said "you're one lucky sob." What am I doing here?

[Meow18]

I think you need to talk to her about this.

 

You obviously already knew she wouldn't have a lot of time for hanging, but it seems like she's ditching you to go out with her other friends everyday. And that's not fair because if she wants to be in a relationship with you, then she needs to commit to it.

 

If things keep going the way they are now though, then you are going to have to decide if it's worth waiting for her to want to give you time.

[REDIRECT43]

I don't think she's that interested in you to be honest...

[DN]

I think you need to talk to her about this.

 

You obviously already knew she wouldn't have a lot of time for hanging, but it seems like she's ditching you to go out with her other friends everyday. And that's not fair because if she wants to be in a relationship with you, then she needs to commit to it.

 

If things keep going the way they are now though, then you are going to have to decide if it's worth waiting for her to want to give you time.

I agree with this. Seems like you are last on her priority list and unless she can move you up to where a boyfriend should be it is time to let her go.

[99ways2killasuperhero]

If you care about her at all you will let her grow and find someone that really loves her.

 

 

 

Shes 16. Im 16. If there is a feeling such as love, I wouldn't know it, but I do know that I would rather not be with anyone else at this point. I dont want to dominate her, I dont want to get action so I can brag about it to my friends.

 

Well now were on a "break" whatever that means, and I have been crying on my floor for the past half hour.

 

I know the lecture, "oh youre just a kid dont worry more girls will come around blah blah blah" girls like this dont just come around for me.

 

And if the coach would let me, Id gladly play tennis with her.

[seksiidan]

I don't think she's that interested in you to be honest...

Honestly, i have to agree here. From what you said, you haven't been doing anything wrong. She seems to have her friends before you. As you said its the 3rd time that she's going out with them. If she was genuinely interested in you she would have made time for you instead of running off with her friends. You seem like a great guy, i think you should let her know how you're feeling first and if things don't work out then you should let her go

[seksiidan]

Also, you should try to stop revolving all your time around her. Try going out with some of your friends and not attach yourself to her so much. I wouldn't recommend that because if something does happen it'll only hurt you more in the end.

[Meow18]

Sadly, I don't think she's that interested in you either.

 

And like sekslidan suggested, I think you also need to find ways to keep yourself occupied, rather than sitting around waiting for her to finally want to be with you.

 

Who's idea was it to take this break?

[99ways2killasuperhero]

it was her idea, but i think its the dumbest thing. If every relationship ended when the first problem arose, how would there be any relationships?

[WhyteSkaii]

it was her idea, but i think its the dumbest thing. If every relationship ended when the first problem arose, how would there be any relationships?

 

I think you're on the right track. It does seem pretty ludicrous if it were like that. Afterall how perfect and happy can a relationship be if there is no changes and it is all constant. I think you might have answered your own question as this point. What it all comes down to is she just didn't seem geniunely interested in you, and this break or break up that you guys have taken is a perfect opportunity for you to think things through as to whether you really want to be in a relationship where she puts her friends above you and would do the things she did with another guy.