Nc is frustrating for a man...

[Captain34]

Hey all, I'm struggling with NC. Actually to be honest things have only gone NC for periods of time no longer than 10 days or so, so I guess its been LC all the way. My biggest problem is that when I identify some signals or the like that could very well be positive for reconciliation, I feel the urge to chase. I am the man after all. It is soooo hard to keep from chasing or laying your cards out when you think it might make a difference. Can anyone give me some insight on this?

[empty421]

im a woman and i feel the same way.... i cant do NC... i just feel like its going to make things worse.. i just feel like if i chase that he will come back because he will see how much i care.. and i know that it make things worse... and im sure you do to.. but this just happened and im irrational right now... i dont know if you are... but it does only make things worse and makes you feel like they dont care because they arent putting forth as much effort as you... all i can say is to try really hard to give her the space she needs if you feel thats what she really wants...

[ElektraHere]

Man or woman NC sucks all around. Its hard, it hurts, and it is a test of ones will.

 

They say it is for your own benefit, I find that true however I sometimes find myself thinking of the only ifs. (sigh)

 

Stick to your guns, be strong, and it will get easier.

[Captain34]

its been tough recently because i had a 20 min or so conversation with her one the phone last week. i went to end it twice, she butted in and kept it going. also inquired quite bluntly about where i was moving to, and even told me she had been thinking about me recently. ahhhh i wish i could put that little voice in my head that makes me think about her on mute for a damn month!

[GottaLetItBurn]

This girl kept contacting me over and over trying to be my friend after she knew I felt heartbroken from her going back to her ex over me. 8 months later started getting texts and it was killing me, those friendly ones that make your heart sink with raising your hope. Then I just couldn't take it, I texted her out of the blue.

 

I figured either way if she responds cool, or she will think she "won" and got my attention and leave me alone forever. She hasn't text me for over a month, most she was going between texts was 10 days. So I think she'll leave me alone.

 

If she leaves you alone never text, if she messes with you only text her back to make her think she has power and then she will leave you alone for good.

 

It worked for me, I'm perfectly okay without this girl. Plus karma is getting her, she gets cheated on AGAIN by her ex..you'll do good just to get the girl out of your life.

[heloladies21]

Well you're eventually going to have to get to a point where you demand an answer and either she's going to be with you or not. And this decision will be final.

 

I'd stop playing any games of cat and mouse which is basically what this LC has turned into. Even if you were to get her back together with you (which the chances are so low) it would be very temporary and the old problems would resurface and the relationship would fail very quickly after that.

 

Be very upfront and direct with her. Tell her you want to get back together in a relationship with her right now, and if you get anything other than a yes, it counts as a no and you should take it as such. At that point, everything has been said and you can cut contact knowing that you have your answer. Being her friend or hanging around in the background in the hopes that she'll change her mind doesn't work, seen that time and time again on here and it always ends in failure and pain 100x worse once she finds a new guy and drops you for good.

 

Do not believe in the false hope she's giving you, they're just words and so easy to say. It's actions you should believe and at this point she's shown you only that she doesn't want to be with you. The little hints or feelers she throws out mean absolutely nothing.

[Viper62382]

Exactly^ He knows what hes talking about.