is it (always) bad to be clingy?

[justwonderingkid]

pretty simple.. just wondering what everyone thinks..

[brando]

can you be more specific with how you are defining clingy???

[XLiFeLeSs_GaZeX]

if you mean clingy in a relationship than yes, it is bad.

[renaissancewoman101]

Clinginess can be bad, esp if the other person hasnt established that you guys are in a committed, established relationship. Clinginess can suffocate a budding relationship and drive people away.

 

I learned that a long time ago, that in order to have a good relationship, one must have a life of their own and not cling to another person and make the other person's life their own too.

 

That is suffocating.

[AwdreeHpburn]

I'm gonna be different here and say not always.

 

Like for example, say I don't see my husband for days at a time. When he gets back, we're both pretty clingy but we like it that way. It lets us know we missed each other.

 

My husband gets clingy when he's sad, me when I'm sick. We are both OK with it because we know each other and know that the clinginess is there for a reason but is usually temporary.

 

How's that?

[laboheme]

I agree with the not always statement.

 

It's very important to have a life outside of the relationship...but a certain degree of clinginess is sometimes needed to reassure your significant other that they are wanted and needed in your life. If the other person is out of the loop for a while due to any number of factors, some clinginess can compensate for that. NOT the I'm-going-to-spend-every-hour-of-the-day-with-you kind though. More of the "I'm fine by myself, but I still need you."

 

I'm definitely a lone wolf kind of gal and tend to be rather detached, so my ex would actually tell me that he would like me to be a little more clingy (I thought holding hands in public was clingy, lol!!!)

[justwonderingkid]

see exactly what i mean.. alot of my friends say being clingy in a relationship is bad but i mean. me and my gf both have a life outside of our relationship and its summer now and school isnt open yet so i only get to see her maybe a couple times a week and since i dont get to see her much i try to talk to her once a day. is that considered clingy? and if it is.. is that bad?

[AwdreeHpburn]

uh....no.

 

But at your age, people love to pick on those things. Esp those friends not in a relationship....

[justwonderingkid]

i dont really understand your post o_O could you explain it a bit

[AwdreeHpburn]

Sure. I was just saying that I seem to remember that my single friends always said things about how NOT independent I was if I called my bf.

 

Or if he called me, he was being too controlling.

 

It was all just jealous BS. Things were changing, the dynamics of our friendships were changing because we were starting to date and that seemed to make the single friends feel jealous or left out.

 

If you're being too clingy, I would hope your so would let you know, not your friends.

 

Does that help?

[ElektraHere]

Clingy = BAD BAD BAD oh yes and BAD!!!

 

independence + self worth = HAPPY HAPPY GOOD GOOD

[AwdreeHpburn]

lol - sometimes.

 

I think there can be a healthy amount of clingy. But that's just me.

[justwonderingkid]

thanks that helped alot

[Yvette84]

being clingy is ok, if you're BOTH clingy! if not. then it's bad.