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cutter gone retarded...according to my "best friend"


BrokenBlackWolf

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they are usually really happy, they sometimes argue, never really yelling. i have only heard my mom and sis yelling at each other once...and i really dont want to go into that if possible...my mom has depression, she is on medication for it(or was last i knew) i really dont think my sis is, and i doubt my mom's bf is

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another thing that u might want to know, alot of times, i will try to talk to someone(and they will just keep walking/leave the room/just seems like they ignore me), and it feels like im completely invisible, not there at all...that is another reason y i have wanted to commit suicide in the past, cuz i felt like there was no reason for me to be here, and they wouldnt even notice if i as gone...but at other times, my mom doesnt let me out of her sight

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i dont know y my mom has depression(she hasnt said anything about being abused), but my grandma had it too.

 

from what ive been told, my dad was never around, always came home really late(usually after my sis and me were in bed asleep) and he drank and smoked alot. one time the cops brought my dad home, he had stopped on the side of the road, had a can of beer in between his legs, and had a lit cigarette in his hand, and fell asleep, and the cops found him there...thats when she gave up on him...she hated him drinking and smoking...(but i think her bf drinks more then my dad did, but i think he(mom's bf) can control himself better, and rarely gets drunk.

 

no i dont think she understands me...but i dont even really understand myself...so i cant explain to her how i feel, so she would understand

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My dad was similar your dad.

 

My mom was a lot worse than your mom though and very abusive.

 

Given time you will understand yourself and feel better.

 

You mother may be predisposed to depression but her lifes problems and choices are the major cause. You too btw.

 

Depression is contagious in families. Do you know about grandma and grand dad - any stories?

 

Your mom is in therapy or just takes meds?

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well i thought he was doing better, but last night he said he wasnt himself, and when he got to school he had 2 cuts on the back of each hand...he said that last night he just really hated himself, but he didnt know why(and i guess he usually does) but i think his grandma is gonna be coming back soon...grr

 

and today, when he brought me home from school, i kinda cried when he left...he said he had to get home, so i hugged him and a couple tears ran down my face, but i didnt want him to see me crying, so i made myself stop...then after he was gone a cried some more...but everytime he leaves, it feels like im never going to see him again...

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I haven't read the whole thread but please seek professional help.

 

You will be healthier in the long run when you do so.

 

Take care,

PR

 

Lol, i already tried that.

 

To be quite honest, if you dont seek professional help you will never get better. If you're prepared to live the rest of your life the way you are now because you're unwilling to take a risk in something unfamiliar than so be it. People will stop trying to help at some point.

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