SaRaHmArIe8588 Posted August 8, 2006 Share Posted August 8, 2006 Well..the title tells it all. I've posted on here about it before and now i need some advice again. The only people that know about this are the people on this site. I've never told any of my friends , family, or boyfriend of over a year. a part of me wants to tell him but then again i dont know how he'd react. We've been together for a while, always being honest about everything...everything but this. Im pretty ashamed for not telling him..that's why i don't know if i should mention it Guys- how would you feel if your girlfriend..who you are in a serious relationship with.. tells you that she had sex with her first cousin? Girls- would you tell your guy this? Now, im not looking for opinions on what i did really, thats what my first post was for. I just need to know whether or not to tell my guy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melrich Posted August 8, 2006 Share Posted August 8, 2006 Guys- how would you feel if your girlfriend..who you are in a serious relationship with.. tells you that she had sex with her first cousin? I can honestly say it would not bother me. I know that about myself, I know I am pretty well immune to my partners past sexual experiences. However I know equally that there are guys who are not and there will be guys that fit into the spectrum of all positions in between the two extremes. So my advice is that you are in the best position to judge how your b/f will react. If you are not sure I would not tell him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
charley Posted August 8, 2006 Share Posted August 8, 2006 My gut instinct is to not say anything. Perhaps a councelor in your local area would be the best person to consult. Perhaps a relationship or marriage councelor where you go see the councelor by yourself first and tell them all about it. Then see what they think. I think you need professional advice before deciding to tell anything, or not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmd Posted August 8, 2006 Share Posted August 8, 2006 It would bother me tremendously. Not only do I not want to hear about my lover's past sexual relationships, I certainly would not want to know about any kind of incestuous relationships either. Ignorance is bliss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DN Posted August 8, 2006 Share Posted August 8, 2006 In many jurisdictions these days sex between first cousins is not considered incest and historically many people have even married their first cousins, including Charles Darwin and Albert Einstein. link removed Who you slept with is your business - I would not tell him if I were you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LostInMyThoughts Posted August 8, 2006 Share Posted August 8, 2006 I would be kind of weirded out by it. More importantly I would feel really weird during family get togethers. If I were you, I wouldn't tell him. I don't think what you did was necessarily wrong, but it might be hard for your bf to understand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brando Posted August 8, 2006 Share Posted August 8, 2006 perhaps it is best to keep it to yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tigris Posted August 8, 2006 Share Posted August 8, 2006 I don't think you should tell your boyfriend. Some people think this sort of thing is sick, however, in some countries like England there is no law against it. Until recently first cousins could marry here. It was in the past and it's impossible to change it so why dredge it up and possibly cause a problem between the two of you. On top of that your parents could find out and then your extended family, and by the time you realise what's happened strangers could know. You'll end up feeling like a leper! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NKP Posted August 8, 2006 Share Posted August 8, 2006 Dont tell him, thats in the past, it your sex life and if you tell him it might just start fights. i hated it when my ex bf talked about having sex with girls here and there, it was something i didnt want or needed to know and it hurt because he would always talk about his exs until one day i lost it at him, we didnt last much longer after that anyway. If your gut says tell him then tell him but if your gut says dont tell him then dont Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairview69 Posted August 9, 2006 Share Posted August 9, 2006 what happened in the past is the past. dont tell him!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hope75 Posted August 11, 2006 Share Posted August 11, 2006 Just to clarify, Did you sleep with your cousin in the past, or was it while you were with your bf? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SaRaHmArIe8588 Posted August 11, 2006 Author Share Posted August 11, 2006 It was about a month before i met my boyfriend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jane0815 Posted August 13, 2006 Share Posted August 13, 2006 I wouldn't tell your bf. You have no influence over who =he= tells, esp. if/when that relationship ends. Having just read the other thread though, I'd think about whether there's any chance this cousin would do the same thing with your sister. If so, I'd think about telling her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LovinIt Posted August 13, 2006 Share Posted August 13, 2006 Do not tell him. I think he would be weirded out by it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SherriLi Posted August 18, 2006 Share Posted August 18, 2006 I for SURe would never tell a soul. But yeah, If i ever were in the same position, i would go to a councillor to talk about it. I would make you feel a little better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
n83 Posted August 19, 2006 Share Posted August 19, 2006 I personally don't think there's any reason to give specific information about anyone you've slept with in the past. That's just uncalled for, no matter WHO you've slept with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FreeYourMind Posted August 22, 2006 Share Posted August 22, 2006 Guys- how would you feel if your girlfriend..who you are in a serious relationship with.. tells you that she had sex with her first cousin? Seriously, I don't think I would like to know. Some people might think what you did is wrong and some people will think it's not that bad. In fact it's what you make of it that really matter. You had a fling on a guy, you slept with him and you just loved it but sadly that guy will never be for you so you should move on and be true to your boyfriend. By that I don't mean telling him everything you did before him, by that I mean do not cheat on him physically or emotionnally and that include your first cousin. The way I see it your first cousin wanted to sleep with a hot girl and it happened to be you, he talked you into it, he made a fantasm come true and now it's over. Physical attraction happen, you're a girl, he's a guy, you're both young, you had a crush on him and he felt it. I don't think he will bother you with it again and if he does push him away. Case closed. Keep it to yourself, trust me, some truth are not good to be told and this one should go straight to you secret garden and stay there. I know that if my girlfriend ever did that with a member of her family I just wouldn't want to know because it is certain that I wouldn't let her be alone with that family member anymore, even if she doesn't want to do anything with him. Also I would then suspect that she might have done other things she's not telling me and that would cripple the trust I have in her. Totally not worth it just to ease some of guilt I would feel in such a case. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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