My thought on NC

[blueberrypie]

I was watching sex and the city trying to figure out how/why Mr. Big comes back to Carrie. What's their secrets? At first I wanted to know why it worked out for them in the end. And the I began to focus on 'in the end.' It took so many years and breakups for them to figure out their way back. I don't want to do that. As much as I love my ex, I don't want to go through that. Then suddenly I realized something. They were on and off because they tried to keep their friendship-or-whatever-you-call-it after each breakup. It was after Carrie decides that she had enough and tried to lose all the contacts when Mr. Big comes back.

This is an analysis based on TV show. But I think it says something important. You can't stay friends with your ex and get back together. It may work in the short run. As long as you stay in touch with your ex, you two are still in a grey area. You seem to be broken up, but not quite yet. So if you hope for the second chance you have to cut your contact totally and hope that your ex will realize his/her mistake. If not, well, they would have left you eventually, so why waste your time?

I wasn't sure if NC was a good way to go when a person want to get back together, but now I'm convinced that it is a way to go no matter what.

 

yeah, easier said than done. I still want to contact my ex. The only reason I don't do is for it to be real, he should find his way back by himself. I really hope that he's gonna find the way, and soon. 'cause I don't want to wait for ever. I set the final date of my waiting for him. There's a reason I chose that date but it is a long story so I'm not gonna get into it. The time is coming, so I just wish it would happen. Wish me a good luck everyone!

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

I definitely think you have the right idea. Even though you may wish things could work out, you do have to plan your life without them.

 

Also when Carrie 'did NC', Big came back. But sometimes, you do NC, and you never see them again. You just have to prepare for making your life as good as it can be with or without them.

[Sally00]

I love Sex & the City. I started watching it earlier this year cuz my friend said that I should watch it because it deals with relationships and everything. So... I watched all of the seasons in what... a month or 2? I love it. It's not about sex... it's about life.

 

The whole thing about being with your ex in the end, it's possible.

 

If it's meant to be, it will be.

[blueberrypie]

If it's meant to be, it will be.

 

I like this!

 

anyways, teddybear, my focus was not on doing NC and getting the ex back but on not 'contacting and getting the ex back just to be broken up soon'. But I got your point.

[Beec]

Well, the show is fiction.

 

I am not the world's biggest proponent of NC. It's to keep you away from what hurting you for the most part and help you heal. In most cases, you cannot get them back when you still hurt, if you got dumped. If you are all healed, sometimes, you can and should have contact.

 

Carrie moved on or was trying to. She had also given Big an indication that she was doing so. Both are good things to do. Only ever watched it in the first year and with women. Much of it is not something to live by. Women in NYC like to think their lives mirror it, but few do.

[Na Zhang]

Is there everyone think NC is the best way to get your ex back?Or keep the friendship?