How to interpret this?

[bacci]

So we went out on a couple dates, all went well but he has issues about my age and how it relates to his desire for a large family. He pretty much knew my age (39) and that i'm the mother of two, but still asked me out.

I've pretty much made up my mind and my own conclusions but I stupidly sent this guy an email about what attracted me to him telling that I wasn't so scared anymore and this is what I got.

 

 

"Gracious, would that I really were half of all this!

But of course if you feel that way then it's as true

as can be.

 

I tend to be a little terse in emails--and very much

edited--so I worry the contrast in our styles may jar

you a bit.

 

That all said, I had a fab time on saturday and I'm

looking forward to seeing you again (with all the

reservations we talked about, too, simmering away in

there for me like chicory in coffee).

 

see you soon!

w

 

 

 

 

 

 

a bit jarred but not by contrast in style...

My linguistic training suggests:

first paragraph,

perhaps dismissive

last one,

seems like he felt the need to bring me back to the reality of what was discussed.

ambivalent at best,

'reservations' is a less strong word than 'doubts',

he's being cautious here, to not lead me on,

in any case, encouraging me not to get too optimistic...?

 

I think if he has so many reservations from the start perhaps this is doomed already.

How should I reply? I feel like cancelling any more meetings.

[ElektraHere]

Is this how he talks? If I were to receive an email like this I would be perplexed too. One question if he has the need and wants for a large family and you already have two kids; do you really think its wise to continue this? Wouldnt it make it harder down the road?

[bacci]

Thanks Elektra, I am fresh from a divorce and didn't know what to expect. I had assumed that if my age and circumstances were an issue for somebody that would prevent them from pursuing anything at all with me. I felt safe since I met this person through very good friends who spoke highly of him and that our common friends would make him accountable in some fashion. My mistake, what i read is that he is either very cautious or that he is trying to communicate that if I go out knowing these issues and then get hurt its all my fault. Wanted to get other people's opinion.

[DN]

I think you are over-analysing all of this.

 

Take what he says at face value and don't look for hidden meanings. He is terse in e-mails, had a 'fab' time on the date and is looking forward to seeing you again.

 

Upfront- self-aware - aware that his e-mail style is different from yours but obviously likes you - wants to see you again.

 

Relax and enjoy.

[bacci]

Dearest DN,

What would I do without your wisdom and support? Thanks for reassuring me and grounding me. I really like him and would of course take things very, very slowly...chances are I might be getting on a rebound , and I really would like in the very least to be friends with this person if he is genuinely who he seemed to be. Its all this wording about simmering away, does it mean some reservations are dissolving or that they're still pretty much there? its was ambivalent to me. What is your reading?

We're going to the theater on the 12th and said he'd like to meet my mom who's coming next week. He said i was a splendid woman too, and has a very good relationship with his brothers, sisters and mother. But the reservations in there simmering away, I'm not sure if he's communicating that I shouldn't get too optimistic.

B

[DN]

Well, I don't know what the original conversation was about but it's your job to find out what he meant - over the next several dates.

[bacci]

You're right as always. Whatever he menat, the spice will either simmer away and dissolve slowly or heat it up to the point where the cofee is undrinkable. Time will tell and we will be well either way.

Thanks for your prompt reply.

I'll let you know how I'm doing by PM you later.

B

[DN]

OK cool - good luck.