Things CAN get worse...

[BornToResist]

Well I took a benadryl and I don't regret it. I'll probably refrain from now on though, but man was it nice to sleep. The only other things that seem to work is the carpet rubbing/dancing thing or putting my feet on something freezing cold. But then I wake up and they're itchy again and I start with my spasmatic dancing. I haven't tried the oatmeal bath, that will probably help with the rest of my body.

 

Thanks for the advice phrecklesrsexy. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree if you know what I mean. R and his mother are very similar. I'm feeling confident about the future. I talked to R today and he's staying at his ex wife's (again) while she is out of town and I don't care. At all. He asked me to the movies and I just said I'm too busy, because I am. I would like to see his daughter to give her Christmas presents but I'm sure I'll see her sometime soon. It feels so great to be free of dead weight. He called me "babe" though and I didn't like it, but I just let it go. But the point is, NO DRAMA FOR BTR! You guys finally got through to me.

 

I even have a shirt that reads:

"I'm not with stupid (anymore)" for after the baby is born.

 

I really don't know what to do with myself for the next couple weeks. I'm going to go out of my mind! I'll have to try not to eat everything in the house out of boredom or spend all my money on things I don't need.

[Mythical_Suicide]

I just wanted to add my .02 on the benadryl, I took it throughout my pregnancy for hives and allergic reactions to stuff from the advice of my OB and my son is perfectly normal and healthy infact I was given a shot of it hours before I delivered my son because of hives and labor arent a fun combination, LOL. Just take the smallest dosage possible. YOu're almost there, it will be over before ya know it and I also agree for the itchin, oatmeal baths are amazing!

[Dilly]

You can't start disappearing like this BTR. We are going to think you have gone into labor. Really, could happen anytime, right???

[southerngirl]

HOw are you doing, I was thinking about you?

[BornToResist]

Haha, I'm still here. I just don't sit at work all day with nothing to do (now that I'm off) and the chair at the computer at my house just isn't as comfortable.

 

No signs of labor yet. Yes it can happen anytime, but due date is still the same. I have my next appointment on the 31st, and I still have one childbirth class yet (on C-Sections, sounds scary to me!).

 

My palms and feet are itchy, I have constant hives on my stomach, I'm crabby and have had the worst migranes of my life...braxton hicks contractions happen every few minutes, my maternity clothes are too small, and I can't seem to get my room clean enough or get comfortable whatsoever. That's enough complaining for today.

 

I know I'm on the final stretch and I really, really cannot wait anymore.

 

Nothing new with R, which is a good thing. I've just been taking it easy the past couple days and going out of my mind with boredom. I guess it's a good thing.

 

Anyways, I'll keep you guys updated, there's just no news to report so much. Finally, huh?

[rocio]

There you are. Sounds like the BH contractions are pretty frequent. Are they supposed to be coming that often?

 

As far as the boredom is concerned, enjoy it while it last cuz pretty soon you won't have time to think - let alone relax with your feet up.

[BornToResist]

Well the contractions don't bother me...I read that if they increase in intensity, then I should take notice. They aren't painful or anything, they are just...weird. Feels like he turns into a bowling ball for a few minutes, then it goes back to normal.

 

I'm in a better mood now though. You're completely right...I should enjoy being able to catnap whenever I want, I guess that's what this time off is pretty much for, huh?

[Hope75]

As long as the contractions stay irregular, and do not increase in duration and intensity, they are not considered a big deal. When you get them , drink a glass of water and lie down for a few minutes to see if they pass. Sometimes being slightly dehydrated is enough to cause uterine irritability and cause BH contractions. If they get more intense, don't cease with hydration and rest, or become regularly spaced out, that's when it's time to call your OB.

 

Almost there BTR!

[Dilly]

YEP, almost there... glad you're taking it easy at home!!!

[scarew]

Good to hear your doing well BTR.

 

Another thought about the itchiness, and dilly can confirm this because I might be wrong. But I was told there is a small amount of anithistamine in the diclectin that I take, which we all know is 100% safe in pregnancy. Ask your doctor about it.

 

(((((((((hugs)))))))))))))) Congrats on making it so far!

[BornToResist]

I'll ask my doctor about your suggestion, scarew. I have my appointment tomorrow. The hives and itchiness are getting worse and worse by the day, I have hives ALL over my stomach. It sucks.

 

My due date is in TWELVE days...less than two weeks. Time flies!

 

Things are very non-dramatic. I've been catnapping for the past week or so and it feels great. I still feel like there's a million things I wanna do, but I just don't have the energy for it anymore.

 

I saw R once, we went to this family birthday brunch thing, and it was alright. We're nice to each other, he brought me flowers, then I got bombarded by his family (I really am sick of being rubbed and poked and WHY does everyone think it's alright to ask about the state of my girly parts...?). I refused to answer his mother on many questions (she's still pushing names on me, so whenever she'd try to bring up the subject, I just stuffed my face with food or excused myself from the table...she eventually got the picture.)

 

He still doesn't have a job. He tells me about prospects and "maybes" and things like that, but it's kinda disturbing what position he's in. But I'm done wasting my energy thinking about him.

 

Other than that, everything seems alright. Hopefully at my appointment they'll tell me I started dialating or something. *crosses fingers*

 

 

[Hope75]

Hey BTR!

 

I was wondering if you'd slipped off and had the baby already!

 

Glad you came back to update us.... and sorry that R still doesn't have a job. But your head is one straight-- and that is a good thing.

 

Sorry about your hives.. do the warm oatmeal soaps help at all?

 

12 days! Wow!

 

Get some rest!

[BornToResist]

UPDATE

 

I went to the doctor today and they said my blood pressure was higher than usual and I had a lot of protein in my urine (Mmm, sorry!), so they sent me to the hospital for some tests.

 

I got poked and prodded for hours, strapped up to machines and forced to pee in cups. Everything looks good, they said my baby is "beautiful" (apparently he's better than textbook in regards to heartrate and all that) and I'm dialated to 2.

 

They asked me if my contractions were painful at all because I'm getting them fairly often, but they aren't so they let me go.

 

It's scary. I sat in the labor/delivery room and got over some hospital fears, but still. Next time I'm there will be entirely different.

 

I have to make another appointment for Friday to make sure everything is A-OK.

 

Haven't heard from R...I think it's strange because if someone was pregnant with MY kid, I'd make sure I knew what was going on...but it's better this way.

 

ANYWAYS...just a matter of time...

[Dilly]

I'm so happy for you! I'm sure they will keep tabs on your progress and induce you if things get too tricky! DOn't worry about R- ... he'll be around, calling, and fawning over the baby, I promise. Have you told his mother/him what the name will be?

[ImThatGirl]

BTR - Sorry you've been.... well... uncomfortable! You probably are ready at any time, aren't you? For my first child, I had high blood pressure on a Friday (a week or so before my due date.) My doctor set an appointment for induction and delivery for the following Monday.

 

Just wanted to give you a heads up! Could be anytime!

 

I'm sssoooooooooooo excited for you! You are going to be a wonderful mother!

 

As far as R goes, do you think it's possible that he hasn't called because he's worried you will tell him he can't be there? Who knows? I'm sorry that he hasn't been better to you. 9 months he had to get his act together. I'm sorry!

[Hope75]

Hey Girl,

 

Glad to hear things are OK- you are on your way!

 

R's behaviour is of course disappointing but not all that surprising. He really doesn't have anything to offer you or the baby now except drama and stress.... so it's probably better that he gives you some peace.

 

Do you have a name picked out for your little baby boy?

[Dilly]

I'm going to express an opinion here that you should inform him when you go into labor. I really feel like the father should know when his child is giong to be born, whether he's a slackass loser or not. Set your boundaries, abide by them, but you're the one who is going to know when you go into labor. It's really not up to him to keep calling to find out. You could even have your brother tell him and give him the scoop on whether he's invited to grace you with his presense at the hospital.

[BornToResist]

I go in tomorrow for another appointment. So today I'm going to finish everything I've been planning on getting done. Just a few loose ends I'd like to tie up.

 

As for calling R, it depends on how I feel at the moment. I really don't care at this point what the "right" thing to do is. I'm going to be selfish and do what I want. Yeah he has a right to know...but I also have a right to have a stress-free delivery (well as stress free as it gets) and if I feel he's going to bring drama to the situation, well he's not going to get a call. That's all there is to it. No it's not his job to keep tabs on me, but I also don't owe him anything. He'd be the first one to get a call when all is said and done, but I'm not putting myself through more stress than need be. I've sacrificed so much of my own comfort and security for him already, and he just walks all over me. Did he care about what rights I should have as a pregnant woman when he was doing drugs in front of me? No. Did he care about how I'd feel when he asked for paternity less than a month ago? Nope. It's all about me now. I'll see how I feel then.

 

I'm not a mean person and it's not that I want to take this away from him, but I honestly don't see what positive effect he could have on the situation whatsoever. He'd be a big ol stressball, he'd call his mother, he'd let his presense be known to everyone that worked there. I just don't feel I'd personally want him there. All he did was have sex with me anyways. *shrug*

 

Man things really are different.

 

ANYWAYS......I'll keep you guys updated, got my appointment set for tomorrow, I can't wait to see what they say!

[rocio]

You've come so far and I completely understand your reasons for not wanting him to be there. That's your right and the decision is up to you in the end. But you should also know that the nurses and hospital staff are very helpful when it comes to this kind of thing. If you tell them not to let him come near you when you're in labour, then they will keep him out. He will have to sit in the waiting room, and after the first 5 hours he'll probably get sick of waiting and leave anyway.

[BornToResist]

Thanks hazey. I agree...he's not a very patient person, but you know, the whole idea of someone coming in and telling me he's there would stress me out. Just knowing he's out there.

 

BUT Dilly got me feeling a little guilty so I called him to see what's up (the phone does work both ways) and I gave him presents to give his daughter for christmas and wanted to see how she liked them anyways. So I told him the basics and he basically cut me off to talk about job prospects. He doesn't care. I know guys handle things like this differently, but once while we were together, I had to go to the hospital and he FREAKED OUT. This didn't phase him whatsoever. He did previously tell me (while things were good between us) that if he HAD to be in the delivery room, he'd make sure he had plenty of valuum or xanex on hand to make things bearable. I think if I called him, he'd feel obligated to come down, if not anything other than just to say he was there to throw it in my face.

 

I just think it's better for everyone if I call him and tell him it was quick and it's over. If anything, it's better for me. I really don't think it would make him upset at all. He'd probably be relieved anyways.

 

He wasn't at his daughter's birth either...he talks about how he wasn't really around the first year of her life and isn't really remorseful about it. He doesn't really think he missed anything since she was just a baby.

 

Point is, I have mixed emotions about what is "right" and should be done at this point, but I'm giving up and just deciding what is best for me.

[Beec]

So long as you do tell him once the baby is born, I don't think you HAVE to call him when it is on the way. Now, if this was my child and woman, I'd be there and expect to know, but I am also always there.

[TheSmilingTurnip]

Hey there, If you dont' want to call him, don't call him. He doesn't have any rights to be there and if he wanted to 'know' then he would be at your side all the time. The birth is a process that does not involve him...it is about you and the baby. If he will stress you out, that's the last thing you need.

[Mythical_Suicide]

If you know its going to stress you out and you dont want him there then dont call him until after the baby is born and you get time to recover after the birth. Judging by what you said about him not being there for his daughter and not being remorseful neither you nor this baby deserves that and if thats how he feels he doesn't deserve to be around something so precious. Labor and delivery is a stressful thing as is, I stressed out the entire time and my bf was the only one in there and we had a good relationship I couldnt imagine having someone there who would make it worse.

 

Do what you feel is right, and if you dont want him in there you dont have to have him there. It is your choice and your decision. Good Luck girl!

[Hope75]

I agree with you BTR that the main focus of your labor is that you are as stress free as possible, and if you tell R, you can bet he and his mother are going to be there, demanding to come in and run the show... and that is the last thing you need to be worrying about when you are trying to deliver the baby.

 

You do what feels right for you... and don't worry about R and his "rights". He isn't your boyfriend, he has done nothing to prove he'll be a good parent, so IMO he can find out after the baby is born and come and see him then.

[Dilly]

BUT Dilly got me feeling a little guilty so I called him to see what's up (the phone does work both ways)

 

Not my intention. Honestly, I just read that you had hung out at his mom's and with him so I thought, wow, if she's hanging with the famdamily and they're asking the name (and you're getting annoyed and can't even tell them that you're making the decision on your own), and you're dodging questions... then, I just get the feeling... that you aren't being open or candid with any of them about your relationship. I mean, when the mom asks how you and R- are doing and you shrug your shoulders, you send mixed messages. Why not tell her what you tell us, that he's frustrating and you don't feel comfortable with the idea of him as a father.

 

If you spend time with him and his family, and expect a call, or want one, it would seem reasonable to notify him to let him know. Not that he has to be there, or anything and if you don't want to call him on the baby's birthday (didn't you go to childbirth classes together), I would end it forever. I mean your actions would speak volumes louder than words and I would follow your actions - if he's not worthy of being present at the delivery, then flush the relationship forever. I would.