Is therapy a cure-all for problems

[renaissancewoman101]

I have been ruminating on this for a while now, esp after letting T out of my life and after talking to some people on this board. I am seriously thinking about getting therapy for my problems, esp with my issues with routine since I feel that my incessant need for routine is kind of hampering me from living life fully. I miss T A LOT and seriously want that routine back. I am having a hard time adapting to new routines out here (after uprooting myself from my old routines back in WI) and am extremely depressed about stuff and have a lack of ambition to do anything to the point that it took me a long time to be able to EVEN make the appt with the DMV to change the license and registration and I have till Aug 16th to do it.

 

I guess my questions are: 1) will therapy help me to find out why I am so attached to routine to the point that any change freaks the hell out of me???

 

2)will therapy help me deal with life better so I am not haunted by my issues?

 

3)how long does it take before you get the effects of it?

 

4) do meds really help and how do they help? (after reading Foxlocke's thread, I am wondering if they work that quickly? He seems to be doing well from his accounts, rather quickly after taking the meds?

[Sally00]

I'm sorry... but I don't know anything about therapy. All I can really say though is that it's worth a shot. Wait till you hear from other people before you make a decision. I just thought I'd give some input on the topic. Good luck!!

[ElektraHere]

RW

 

You can ask everyone in the world if therapy will help. The only for sure answer to that is with you. You have to want the change, you have to want to move forward, and you will have to start making decisions for yourself for the best you possible. Plain and simple.

 

Doing is not just biding your time it is actually getting up, dusting yourself off, and putting one foot in front of the other.

 

Do what is in YOUR best interest. It doesnt matter what I or anyone else here tells you. It is YOUR truth, YOUR life, and YOUR well YOU!

[Sally00]

RW

 

You can ask everyone in the world if therapy will help. The only for sure answer to that is with you. You have to want the change, you have to want to move forward, and you will have to start making decisions for yourself for the best you possible. Plain and simple.

 

Doing is not just biding your time it is actually getting up, dusting yourself off, and putting one foot in front of the other.

 

Do what is in YOUR best interest. It doesnt matter what I or anyone else here tells you. It is YOUR truth, YOUR life, and YOUR well YOU!

Yeah... you're right.

[tylercdurden2004]

Therapy is not a cure per se. It may however point you in the right direction in which you can help yourself. Ultimately it comes down to how willing you are to overcome whatever it is that troubles you. Therapy is a great way to get ideas and perspcetive on the situation however it aint witch craft that will heal you with the wave of a hand.

[renaissancewoman101]

EH, you make it seem like I dont want to put the effort into healing myself. I do. I just dont know where to turn or what to do. Sometimes the whole wide world scares me.

 

I guess I want to understand why I am the way I am, why I cling slavishly to routine, why I want the person who treats me the worst to stay in my life, why I feel like my life is so out of control.

 

I also want to know if meds are the way to go, in order to feel better and find some semblance of order in my life. My life is very chaotic and feels like there is no goal or rhyme or reason and I want to put some order into my life.

 

I want to learn to live life on my own and not cling to people or routines.

[tylercdurden2004]

EH, you make it seem like I dont want to put the effort into healing myself. I do. I just dont know where to turn or what to do. Sometimes the whole wide world scares me.

 

I guess I want to understand why I am the way I am, why I cling slavishly to routine, why I want the person who treats me the worst to stay in my life, why I feel like my life is so out of control.

 

I also want to know if meds are the way to go, in order to feel better and find some semblance of order in my life. My life is very chaotic and feels like there is no goal or rhyme or reason and I want to put some order into my life.

 

I want to learn to live life on my own and not cling to people or routines.

 

No I was trying to say is dont look at therapy as a pancea for all. It all comes down to you. Therapy is ultimately useless for you or anyone else if the person seeking therapy doesnt do the work.

 

Life is chaos thats teh beauty of it full of surprises.

[ElektraHere]

Again RW it is YOU that makes that choice not I, other Enotters, T, your family, or other friends.

 

What I think you may be missing is in order to have control you must take all of it back. You have given it out to so many that you have actually lost the control. Time to reclaim it sister! The more control you have on your life the more grounded, happy, and strong you will be.

 

Take it from someone who actually has been in therapy, has done the meds, and who once lost all the control.

[CarnelianButterfly]

Meds helped me, but therapy was a waste of time because my therapist underestimated the depth of what was going on. I didn't trust or respect them and I think both are needed to develop a good rapport.

[renaissancewoman101]

So, EH, did therapy and meds help you at all? Did you see an improvement in your life after you went to therapy and went on some meds?

 

I just wonder how effective meds are because I see my problems as being emotional ones as well as coping problems. I have problems dealing with life, hence me being so dependent on routine and stuff like that.

 

After reading Foxlocke's thread, it seems like meds are a miracle cure-all. He seems to be doing a lot better, according to him, since he went on those meds.

[ElektraHere]

Meds help some people because they act as a buffer. Meaning when your in the trenches of figuring out things the meds can help you get through that.

 

Meds are not the magic cure all and you MUST remember that. What makes everything "cured" again goes back to what I said before. YOU!

 

I guess I have my fears but not as strong as yours. It seems your afraid to live because you feel your not worth it. We all have our moments but you had surrounded your life around someone who was soooo bad for you. Little by little a part of you was picked away until you were left a pile of bones. Rewind all that. Start putting yourself back in the world and you will be alright. Remember that you WILL be alright.

[Aurian]

I went to therapy for self-esteem issues and emotional control. I found it very helpful. I feel a lot stronger and better now. However, it helps to find the right therapist. This was my third one. He really was interested in helping me and gave me exercises and books to work on while I was at home, so I felt like I was doing the work.

 

A past one was obviously a flake. I was very young and she was taking every comment as a sign of abuse. I showed her a scupture I did with my parents represented as animals and she looked like she hit a gold mine or something. I was crying after every session.

 

The second one was better, but basically he just had me wallow and never did much to help me FIX the problems.

 

The third listened to me a lot, but also corrected me when I was going in the wrong direction and gave me the tools to help myself. I still see him.

[tylercdurden2004]

Yeah this is the problem with therapists and councellors. They are just people like everyone else but often too much stock is put in them. Case in point my exes mom had depression. For ten years her doctor had her on heavy meds to the point she had to take sleeping pills every night. tens years on she got herself a second opinion and ended up with reduced meds and no need for sleepings pills. As a side point her intial doctor took offence to her getting a second opinion. Some can be very territorial espcially the save the world types.

[renaissancewoman101]

Tyler, then what is the best thing to do in order to find the right therapist? Do people shop around for therapists? I would think that if we found a "wrong" one, it could do us some emotional harm.

 

I just want to find someone who can help me find the good in me and help me get of the self-loathing, self-despising cycles that I seem to go through. I know my mom triggers a lot of these cycles but my mom is a part of my life that I have to learn to deal with.

[Siriana]

Theraphy really helps. There are 2 things important:

1. choosing a good therapist

2. knowing that you need to participate and work - so it's all about your effort - he is just showing you how.

 

And I believe that medications are something that should be prescribed only in sever cases. So stay away from therapist who will be interested in giving you medications and nothing more

[Aurian]

Try one for a session or two. The first two had good credidentials, but I felt uncomfortable with them. The third, I felt comfortable with right away. You kinda get a gut feeling with how likeable and compatitble a therapist might be.

 

It might also be the therapist's style too.

[ElektraHere]

RW

 

If you have health insurance you can look in the directory. Take some of the names and google them. Sometimes you can find Psych Assoc websites that specify what type of treatments they offer. What style they use, etc. Its just you have to do your due diligence. I think when you call to talk to them thats also when you ask questions. About their style and what exactly is your issues.

If it doesnt work out then you pick another it really isnt that difficult. When you buy something dont you research a bit? Well you have to do the same with therapists too.

[tylercdurden2004]

Tyler, then what is the best thing to do in order to find the right therapist? Do people shop around for therapists? I would think that if we found a "wrong" one, it could do us some emotional harm.

 

I just want to find someone who can help me find the good in me and help me get of the self-loathing, self-despising cycles that I seem to go through. I know my mom triggers a lot of these cycles but my mom is a part of my life that I have to learn to deal with.

 

How I would treat the situation? I would treat it like anyone else I would let into my life in an intimate fashion such as a GF or an employer. I would spend the first session or two getting to knwo them. It sounds odd but if this is the person giving you direction dont you want to be able to trust and communicate with them.

 

Build rapport with them and see is this someone who is goign to actually listen to you or are you just a paycheque. I would also consider "double dating" that is seeing 2 or more therapists at least for the first session with each one.

 

At the end of the day a good therapist can lead you where you need to go more effectively and efficiently than a bad one. In the beginning it may be more expensive but in the long run if you find a good therapist you may spend half the time you woudl with a bad one.

 

Find something on the internet or bookstore that you can read, about finding a good therapist. This will help you find questions you need to ask in your "weeding out" process.

 

If you look at any given job how many people can you say are actually good or better than good at the job? 10%, 20%....Therapists are no different. I have worked with therapists in my job and one comes to mind as a case in point of a bad one. This person spent years studying psychology etc has degrees yet is terrible when it comes to their own relationships with staff in particular. Not all are created equal.

[nottoogreen]

Hi RW,

 

There are no external curealls. Change is the only cure. Therapy can help with understanding and change.

 

IMHO, therapy would be of substantial benefit to you. Selfhelp@eNotAlone can work too but therapy could be better for you.

 

This is from fox's thread.

Hi FoxLocke,

 

You are in therapy and meds like Psychopharma are a part of therapy.

 

The FDA assures that approved meds are quite safe. Psychopharma are quite safe when used under the supervision of a trained and qualified therapist.

 

Psychopharma tend to make you feel better, but do not negate the need for therapy and change! Too many people screw up here!

 

You can google for your brand/contents of med's and learn about them, I always do that also for my gf and kids and friends at times.

 

Please work with your therapist and also induce change within you in order to find balance within yourself and in your life.

[nottoogreen]

tylercdurden,

 

I am with you on finding good therapists. It's harder than finding a good mechanic.

 

Sometimes one must try.

 

Edit: And the therapist at your job needs therapy.

[itsallgrand]

Therapy is definetly not a cure all to all your problems. BUT, it can be extremely useful under the right circumstances.

It is worth checking out if you are ready to address your problems and put in the work.

It is work. Serious work.

It is worth it. An investment in oneself.

 

I found a very good one, after 'shopping' through a lot of losers.

I knew right away this person can help me, and knows what is going on with me.

That is so important: feeling that connection, feeling understood, being able to build trust, and of course: that the person be qualified and competent.

 

A HUGE part of therapy actually helping is getting a proper diagnosis.

You, and your workers, have to know exactly what it is that is being worked on. Otherwise - it's all a waste, and you could get worse.

 

Honestly, I cried the day I got a proper diagnosis. Bc that is when I really knew this is going to get better, there is hope and a plan!.

 

Knowing what needs to be dealt with is #1. Then, you can really apply yourself and start the work to getting where you want to be.

 

As far as meds go: This is my personal advice.....

Do Not Choose a Doctor/Therapist/Pysch who immedietly dishes out pills!!

don't do it. bad sign!

This goes back to the 'proper diagnosis' thing. It takes TIME to assess a person, their issues and unique problems, and to create a personal treatment plan.

 

If you choose to go on meds, do so after researching and knowing what you are getting into.

 

Personally, I see meds as a last resort. A way to gain enough equilibrium in order to make any progress, or to prevent further destruction.

Or, for those cases where medication is necessary as a long-term treatment plan.

 

I'm cautious.

 

You need to decide what it is right for you. I know it isn't easy. However, I think that therapy may be very helpful for you.

 

cheers

[nottoogreen]

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

My experiences with therapy were that it made me even more self obsessed and self indulgent than previously.

 

It's basically Rent A Friend, who is guaranteed not to pass on your secrets or tell you to shut up and stop whining.

 

I'll admit I have problems. I have quite severe manic depression and find it hard to deal with mundane situations. But therapy (2+ psychs, 2+ counsellors..) didn't work. I'd walk out feeling furious, patronized and determined not to waste any more of the health service's money.

 

I sincerely wish you good luck. I found just plain old keeping busy to be more helpful in forgetting life's woes and maladaptive thought patterns.

[FoxLocke]

It isn't a cure all. Life is going to be problematic, that's just reality. You may have a spell where everything is fine and dandy, but you are going to get into some crap at some point or another...

What therapy does is develop your coping skills, and find out why you continually fall into negative life patterns.

Once you realize why you do what you do you can make better choices.