heyguys Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 hey all, i havent written in couple weeks so thats a good thing. things with my bf have been up and down rollercoaster. its hard bc neither of us wants to let go and i dont know if thats good or bad. well anyway the lastest argument we had really did it for me. See he is going to a bacholor party in Las Vegas. I was totally fine with it. My friend called me recently and didnt know about the trip my bf was going on and she said her and some girls are going to go to vegas that SAME weekend. I reallllly want to go its all gonna be free, but I was hesitant to go because my bf was gonna be there. But anyway, i decide to call him and tell him my plans and he FLIPS out saying NO WAY id ruin the trip, rain on his parade! I was so hurt. this really hurt myfeelings bc i felt like he didnt want me 100 miles near him and the boys weekend. its not at all that i dont trust him and i told him so i really dont know why he flipped out. i was sincerely shocked. he felt bad and said fine its ok if i go the same weekend. BY this point i was already hurt that someone i love so much would say that to me. I said i didnt want to talk anymore and he got upset. The next day he contacts me, i thought to apologize, but really to ask me to help him do his HW~! I was so hurt/upset and then i said i already bought the tickets to travel up to vegas and he said "we are sooooo over" he wanted to break up! I mean IIIII was the mad on that he didnt want me around now HE is breaking up with me. Im sooo shocked and disappointed. i love him but this is hard to love someone like that. i dont know if the break up was a bluff, but if anyone dumps anyone it should be me for the way he tried to restrict me from my vegas trip. any advice on how to handle this? everyone prob knows i love him and dont want to break up, but i HATE him walking all over me like this and taking me for granted Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Musica Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 Heyguys, That's pretty harsh of him to break up w/ you over a bachelor trip to Vegas and not to be judgemental but a little suspicious. I mean it's not as if you were going to follow him around and go where the boys where going, right? You were gonna do your own thing.......! I live in LV, there's a lot of trouble to be gotten into here, I mean look at our slogan "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas"! If he wants to be immature, make sure you have the best damn time on your Vegas trip w/ your GIRLS......and worry about your relationship when you get back home.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heyguys Posted July 27, 2006 Author Share Posted July 27, 2006 yeah for sure! i was NOT going so i can spy on him. the two trips were a coincidence. if anything i was gonna ask him what clubs and casinos they were going to so we made sure not to go there and let him have a good time. a good time to him tho, in vegas, who knows now.....im bummed by all this so im not sure if i want to go anymore Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SarahRose Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 That is ridiculous of him to break up with you over that. As I recall it is still a free country and you are an adult and you aren't his property. I suspect he didn't want you to go as he was planning to do some nasty stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarnelianButterfly Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 Be happy you were just dating and not married. My slogan for this guy "NEXT!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shadows Light Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 I'm trying to be fair and put myself in his shoes. What are the ODDS of the two trips being on the "SAME" weekend. It is kinda strange no??? Turn the table and think about it.. if the girls were going out there first.. and all of a sudden BF has a trip there. Wouldn't you think he ... might not trust you or something. All that asside. DO NOT CANCEL YOUR TRIP. You pack yourself up.. get your butt on that plane... and do NOT miss this trip because he's whining and pouting and behaving like a little boy. pppfffffsssstttttt. And if you do run into him... hopefully you would have found yourself standing near the biggest baddest harrdest stud muffin and then he can do whatever he wants with that info... I know you love him sweetie... but he's manipulating you. Kick the ball back into his corner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heyguys Posted July 27, 2006 Author Share Posted July 27, 2006 ya. it didnt cross my mind he would do something "bad" . now he forced me to doubt him. i mean how could i ruin his trip. if i caught him doing something bad "his trip" should be the last thing on his mind, he should be more mad would break up if it was that type of bad thing. i dont know...i wasnt even going bc of him...it truley is a coincidence...who woulda known. ya he planned a trip first but seriously this is nothing for him to make a huge fuss over. i cant believe he held our relationship so to berak up. and if he wants me back im questioning if i want someone that would THINK of doing that to me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hope75 Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 I can kind of understand where he's coming from. I assume you are both staying on the strip, and he was probably looking forward to some serious guy fun with his friends. Does that mean he was going to cheat? No, but you know that Vegas has strippers etc and I'm sure they are planning on that and now to have you around.... even if you are not together he will feel obligated to watch himself just in case you happen to be near where he is... I'd feel like my parade was being rained on if I were him. Kinda like the ol' ball and chain is going to be watching me, and that you don't trust him. I realize it's a coincidence, but that is how I would feel if it were me.... as SL said, strange enough coincidence. Would I break up with you over it? No, that seems a bit overboard... but I do see where he's coming from. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heyguys Posted July 27, 2006 Author Share Posted July 27, 2006 ya i totally understnad and see where hes coming from. l what i dont understand, and think was innappropriate was his flipping out. like i siad in my original post when my friend told me to go with her and the girls i was hesitant. what if he changes his mind and apologizes and has no problem with it....i mean of course ill go, but i dont know its still hurts bc i already know he really feels. he broke up with me on his own. i didnt say its me or the trip or nothing, i dont get it...its so manipulative Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hope75 Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 So he actually broke up with you then... That's sad. How was the relationship before this happened? Did you trust him? Have you had any reason not to in the past? Have you questioned him alot of his wherabouts and doings... any reason that he would feel this trip to Vegas at the same time is "the last straw"? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heyguys Posted July 27, 2006 Author Share Posted July 27, 2006 yeah we have had our share of things going on....if anything hes more the type to follow me around somewhere, so im a bit confused. and as of this morning we are broken up...this is second time he does this, and i admit i suggest break ups or a break better yet too when im fed up, not for dumb reasons like his.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iceman26 Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 You will be better off without this guy. He should want to be with you, not repulsed at the idea that you guys are in the same place at the same time. At the very least, he could have said "Cool! Let's meet up one day for lunch or a show!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hope75 Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 ...this is second time he does this, and i admit i threaten break ups too when im fed up... I have to say it's a little disconcerting (and more than a little immature) to theaten breakups when things get rough and aren't going you way, or his. I'd question the stability of a relationship that was thrown on the rocks every time there was an issue that you disagreed upon. It seems this is you and his way of handling conflict... and doesn't seem entirely healthy to start with. Are you sure this is a relationship you would even want to get back into? One that you cannot depend on if there is a bump in the road? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DN Posted July 27, 2006 Share Posted July 27, 2006 when my friend told me to go with her and the girls i was hesitant. Why were you hesitant to go in the first place? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heyguys Posted July 28, 2006 Author Share Posted July 28, 2006 i was hesitant bc like most ppl i didnt want to rain on his parade or the grooms parade or whatever...although they shouldnt be doign anything tooooo bad in the first place...but my intentions were to not bother them on their trip...am i being too nice? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted July 28, 2006 Share Posted July 28, 2006 I have to say it's a little disconcerting (and more than a little immature) to theaten breakups when things get rough and aren't going you way, or his. I'd question the stability of a relationship that was thrown on the rocks every time there was an issue that you disagreed upon. It seems this is you and his way of handling conflict... and doesn't seem entirely healthy to start with. Are you sure this is a relationship you would even want to get back into? One that you cannot depend on if there is a bump in the road? I agree. I see why your boyfriend wasn't happy with the news that you were going to vegas that weekend, but at the same time, I think he WAY over reacted!!! I lived in southern california for a long time too, and I know that people joke that Vegas is just another suburb of Los Angeles. Seriously, we would go all the time, and it's not like it's totally unheard of, to happen to be there the same weekend your boyfriend will be there. And it's plenty big enough that your two groups would probably never even run into each other! So, yeah, I think that he way overreacted. He acted like his parents were going to be chaperoning at his prom. He sounds kind of immature. In any case, like hope said, threatening to breakup all the time isn't a good way to handle problems. Are you ok with the breakup? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DN Posted July 28, 2006 Share Posted July 28, 2006 i was hesitant bc like most ppl i didnt want to rain on his parade or the grooms parade or whatever...although they shouldnt be doign anything tooooo bad in the first place...but my intentions were to not bother them on their trip...am i being too nice? Well there seems to be a little contradiction here. One the one hand you say you didn't want to rain on his parade but then you complain that he said you were going to rain on his parade. In other words, you seemed to know that he (and presumably most ppl) might react that way and yet you went ahead and did it anyway. Why did you do that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Massari Posted July 28, 2006 Share Posted July 28, 2006 I understand exactly where you're coming from. i kinda wish my GF would call me up and come with me when I am out. simply cause I love her and enjoy her company. some ppl need sometimes to spend with their friends from time to time and be away from their partners (gf/bf s). the reason I have absolutely no idea myself . I am the kind that would prefer to go out with my gf and she on the other hand is a type that like the girls night out and that kinda things. we usually get into fights and arguments cause of the questions that raises.. "me go there and do what? get kissed by drunk guys" "her: you are out with 4 gurls ok so I can go out with my guy friends" but at the end we usually come to some sort of conclusion and niether of us end up going anywhere and stay home. kinda sucks.. but definitely better then a break up. now I dunno why your BF flipped. If my gf wanted to come with me I would encourage her simply cause I have to see her first of all every day or every other day atleast. and I have to talk to her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Massari Posted July 28, 2006 Share Posted July 28, 2006 You will be better off without this guy. He should want to be with you, not repulsed at the idea that you guys are in the same place at the same time. At the very least, he could have said "Cool! Let's meet up one day for lunch or a show!" YOu see iceman ppl like me and "heyguy" would love this idea simply because of how we are. "heyguy"'s bf however is not that type apparently. he flipped out when his gf would want to come with him with "HER OWN friends" to vegas. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
confused25 Posted July 28, 2006 Share Posted July 28, 2006 Man I can't believe he broke up with you over the Vegas trip. I mean, ok, it might've been a little bit weird knowing that your gf will also be in vegas when your having a bachelor party, but I don't think that's a reason to totally freak out over. That just seems really shady, like he knows he'll be doing some stuff that he wouldn't want you to see or something. If he REALLY didn't want you to go, he should've have a talk to you nicely, and not like freak out on you, I think that was unecessary! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RayKay Posted July 28, 2006 Share Posted July 28, 2006 I would say that was an overreaction on his part. I can see how the coincidence may have been a little off putting for him, and he may have been a bit suspect, but even so...discussion about the reasons maybe he did not want you there or he felt a bit weird would have been a better method. But, from your other posts, I would say there is a lot of toxicity in this relationship to begin with, this may have just been the final blow that just toppled the building over. I really think it is probably time you went your separate ways at this point. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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