we're on a 1 month break

[weaktiger]

hi all, this is my first post.

 

my long-term relationship is now at a one-month break. there are now only 25days left.

i made a mistake as to e-mail her last nite, but as its not an e-mail address she checks often, i was going to delete the e-mail within an hour. it was just a way of getting it out of my system, in a more real way, but then after deleting it, she would never have known.

but i obviously realised she had been sitting around at work, checking her e-mail constantly, as the read my e-mail very quickly, before i could delete it.

 

i basically asked how she was doing without me disturbing her these few days. she replied 'erm....sigh....'

 

anyhow, i then made my second mistake, which was to txt her at half 4 am. i was honestly not expecting a reply as she should be asleep and her fone is always on silent. but i got a reply in an instant.

 

she still calls me 'baby' even tho i didn't use any terms in addressing her.

 

my third mistake was to txt her again this morning, asking if she would have contacted me if i hadn't. and she replied saying there were many times when she almost did contact me, but she really wants to stick to her one month no contact agreement, so she probably wouldn't have, which includes not exchanging txts.

 

so i apologised. which is why i've decided to come onto this website. so hopefully u will all help me get through 25 more days. and i can use here to communicate all my feelings and frustration, rather than allow myself to slip up and contact her again.

 

it's quite difficult at a weekend, cos i usually go to see her every weekend. now i have too much time on my hands. it's better during the week as i'm so busy at work, most of the time just flies.

 

so i don't really know what to do with myself.

 

and i'm quite worried that she will get too used to being without me in the next 25days, that it will end with her saying we're better off apart.

 

thanks for listening.

[EvaGina]

poor button

whya re you having a break?

[weaktiger]

because she's a bit messed up in the head at the moment, and needs some time to decide if she can deal with a relationship. she's extremely stressed at work, working everyday and night, and the deadline is next month, hence she wants to wait until then.

 

she's deciding whether we should put our emotions aside, and make a sensible decision or carry on with a relationship that will end in tears and pain when she leaves to go to the other side of the world

[SarahRose]

A one month break for no real reason that leaves you in limbo seems pretty selfish on her part.

 

As hard as it is, resist contacting her and please don't sit around for a month pining after her.

 

Get out there and do some things with your friends. Are you allowed to see other people during this break?

[weaktiger]

i don't intend to see other people during this break whether i'm allowed to or not, so it doesn't make a difference. it's not worth risking losing her and i would feel like i've cheated on her if i do.

[rose2summer]

weaktiger, I am in a situation parallel to yours. My bf has asked me for a 1-2weeks break and my philosophy is that since he is so selfish to do that to me, I am leaving. Hopefully, you will find what is best for you, but I suggest leaving the relationship if she is not considering your emotions and just going based on her own needs.

[weaktiger]

so have u actually left him?! is it worth giving up your whole relationship just because he wants 1-2 weeks?

i just rang her actually, to clarify why she wants this month, and if she wants to split up. and she said if she wanted to split up, she would have said so.

we spoke for 20 mins, everything was great, just asking how each other are, how work is, what we've been doing etc.

i asked if shes trying to hide from me and avoid me and she said no, of course not, why would she need to.

so i said i don't know. and she just said that she wants time to reflect on herself without any distraction.

 

the phone call ended, with no hint as to whether we are now ok to communicate or not. but i will assume i should be continuing to countdown these 25 days.

[kuhaaica]

LIKEWISE

 

 

I am in the same boat but our break is set at 6 months, plus we have a 5 month old son together.

i hear ya completely, i fear that after that time, him living at his mummy's he will decide we are better off apart too...

The break wasnt because of us or our relationship, its because of a situation to do with my other 4 kids, so we are very much in love but he just cant live here anymore.

 

I hope everything turns out happy for you....

[weaktiger]

awww, i hope everything works out for u too.

 

she texted me last night at about 3:15am just to say sleep well and night. it's the first time she has initiated contact since asking for the break, so that's a good start.

will just have to hold on and see what happens next.

 

your 6 months break sounds painful...good luck with everything. is it complete no contact?! surely he wants to see your 5 month old son?!