healing process

[blueberrypie]

For the people who were following my story, I just wanted to say that I'm doing a lot better now. =)

I still miss him, love him, but I realized that I don't 'need' him. (yeah, I thought I *need* him in my life for me to be happy since I love him.) I realized that I'm lucky that I had that 10 1/2 months in my life. It's bad that it ended like that but it may not be the end. I'm still wishing for get-back-together, but wouldn't just sit and wait.

I'm feeling too happy that is feels almost fake. When I'm alone I still want to cry. no, I don't *want* to cry, but I feel like i'm gonna cry and need to put some effort not to. But I know it's not because of him. Actually I don't know why I feel that way. I feel like crying first and try to figure out a reason and it makes me depressed. So I try not to figure out. Hopefully it will go away with time.

I even cherish time I suffered from breakup. I wouldn't volunteer for going through that again, but I learned valuable things through it. I wouldn't have find out so much love and support around me if it wasn't for that.

Hope from now on it would be all moving forward, not falling back, even if it means a really small and slow step at a time.

 

Maybe it's too soon for me to say this, but those of you who just experienced breakup, hang in there. It gets better. It doesn't matter how long it takes. Just take your time.

[chai714]

Blueberry,

 

That was a really excellent post.

 

It was encouraging and I could relate to a lot of what you said. Glad to hear you're making progress in the healing process. It takes time and time is paying off for you.

[blueberrypie]

Thanks chai.

 

I just began to wonder if I'm actually moving on, or I'm just in another kind of denial. I began to accept that he left me, he's living his life without me now, and I have to live my life without him. But just for now. I realized that I have some issues to work on and this is the perfect time to work on those issues, I wouldn't have time to work on my issues if he didn't leave me then, so it's actually good thing that we are taking time apart. But I still believe that he would come back later and it would work well since we both worked on our issues.

 

Well, who knows. maybe i'm thinking too much. =)

[brando]

Well if he comes baclk or not is not the main issue here. I think you hit it on the head. Taking care of you is much more important. I sense you will be fine from your own personal insights.

 

be well,

brando