just sick of people treating me like crap

[strndedbyluv]

yea, someone told me today that if i want to be in a relationship that im eventually gonna have to give in on the celibacy thing. that i am never going to be able to find someone at my age that is willing to never have sex with me, and that my vow is just silly and what monks or whatever do.

i know it may be true that i wont find anyone, but i just cant care anymore. I have to do what is good for myself. When you start screwing around with people you shouldnt, and when you go to a freaking bar and leave with strangers, and when you cant stay in a relationship because its always gotta be an "open relationship" because you have no self control, and when you continue to hurt people you truly love because of something as simple as getting your next fix or whatever, and when you start feeling like your a piece of trash- then you can come and screw with me about my life, and my choices, and how silly i am being...

and as much as it sucks, it is my life...silly or not...i HAVE to do this. It hurts me so bad that people dont understand me, and make fun of this, or try and "show" me how its not gonna work. no one understands what an addiction like that is like...its so "unnatural" or whatever, but screw that...if you dont understand it then move on, and say - "well shes a freak, that figures." dont mess with me about it...just move on and pretend you dont know me or whatever it takes, but dont run me down about it, and dont pick on me about it. leave me be.

if i have to be alone because i cant find a decent guy that will not want to have sex, or even mention it and talk about it ( or be a pervert), then i will.

plain and simple...im so sick of everything right now.

Im sick of feeling like a freak, im sick of this small hick town, and stupid people. im sick of having all this freaking school debt and a freaking 4 year degree that i may as well roll up a big doobie with and smoke cause thats about the only thing it is good for, im sick of missing a loser that i wasted so much of my life with...im just sick!!!!

[Dako]

The greatest asset of celibacy is that you don't need a partner.

It's hard enough to find a compatible partner, let alone one who accepts celibacy as a condition of the relationship.

Maybe you need to heal and be alone before trying to recruit someone else into your lifestyle.

Why would anyone know what you don't do in private unless you tell them?

[flower99]

Wow first of all congratulations!!! that is such an awesome decision & very wise. I wish i stuck with mine when I made it.

Secondly. You know they are wrong when they say it's never find someone your that is willing not to have sex with you. It just seems hard for them to believe because they are unable to do it.

There are men like that, I know a couple. And there is the perfect one out there for you, stay strong to your beliefs, don't settle & Do whats right for you.

as far as people not understanding you & putting you down for it. That's always going to happen in life as long as you don't go with the crowd. But know in your heart your doing the right thing, don't let others bring you down. Be proud of who you are,self control is really lacking in this world (:

 

hugs **

[Alabama]

Congrats. It is hard to repel things that you don't want and I can understand that. A few months ago I decided to remain a virgin, until I got married. But I know it won't be easy. The temptation is really hard at times and I wonder at times if I'll make it through it. But I want to keep with this commitment at this age and will continue with it. I know there are other people struggling like you with this decision, and it is best to keep with it. Good luck.