back in the stage one

[blueberrypie]

but it's stronger than the first time.

Now I think that he just needs more time to truly *miss* me. In the last conversation he already said that he couldn't not call me because he missed me so much.

I coudln't even send him a bday message because i wasn't sure if he could use internet at all. I found out that he's using internet. He uploaded his photos . When I just glimpsed them I thought he looked happy. I looked it again (which many of you probably disapprove) and realized that he doesn't look happy. And then thought 'if he was happy being there why would he upload photos on facebook?' One thing leads to another. I wanted to send a belated bday message to him. But now I think I should just give him enough space/time to miss things. He may decide he's better off without me. But I feel he would realize that he would come back if I don't contact him at all. I still talk to our mutual friends so he can find out that I'm not seeing anyone else. Or we may go to the party and ran into each other after he comes back (now he's abroad). I really miss talking to him, but I feel like if I contact him first he will be relieved and think that he could get me back whenever he wants so he would postpone it....probably forever.

I hope my **feeling** is real. But worried that I'm just living in a fantasy.

If someone still hopes for getting back together, which is usually better? LC or NC? I think he needs to feel the empty space of mine, but could it make him drive away? What if he wants to come back but can't contact me because I was nonchalant last time he contacted me and afraid of contacting? when we were together my then-ex tried to contact me many times and I ignored it because I had no intention of getting back together with that guy. And my current-ex knows about that. Back then I said 'I don't know why he doesn't get the message. If I wanted to get back together, I would have reciprocated. By not doing it I'm sending a message that I'm not interested. Why doesn't he get that?' Maybe my current-ex is thinking that and waiting for my contact? After all, he showed me that he wanted to keep in touch with me and I sort of shrugged it off.

[robowarrior]

You two are definitly not on the same frequency, i think that your problem and lack of understanding lies mainly in the fact that the underlying problems that caused the break up to begin with have to be solved in order for you two ever to have a chance coming back together. For the record, guys do not understand subtle girl signals, if you want him to come back ask it directly in his face.

 

Currently your mind is like a washing machine , running the same movie over and over, i think you need to stop dwelling over all the could have beens, the should have beens, and come down from space back into reality. But not everything has been said with that.

 

You see you are clearly in love with him, its something that is without doubt the case. Personally i think you need to learn that in relationships its important to ask yourself the question ' is he with me so i can hurt is feelings, and are you with him so that you can make his life miserable? Of course not, couples are supposed to make eachother happy.

 

thereforeeee only put love and light into the relationship on a continues basis. You see (small) arguments act like poison into the relationship, if you put darkness and hatred into someone elses life, then the strings of love that you have with that person will detach themselves and a BIG breakup will follow.

 

If arguments start, you should NEVER give another swing to that wheel of hatred, if you do so then the hatred will just keep going on forever, you have to say to yourself STOP to here and no further.

 

I think both of you need to face your problems and solve them, from there you two still could have a relationship, however don't let fear imprison you , you see if you don't shoot you will always miss, so you have to go for gold in your life and grab your chances.

[blueberrypie]

As much as I appreciate your interest, I don't really understand what you mean. We didn't have any argument before we began to talk about breakup. The breakup was caused by the fact that he would go abroad for a half year and that he didn't want to feel restrained. That's why I think he would come back eventually. Because when he comes back there would be no 'going-abroad' problem.