AwdreeHpburn Posted July 10, 2006 Share Posted July 10, 2006 Maybe but that doesn't give them the right to be cold and unfriendly. If I was approached by a girl I had NO interest in, I would still treat her as a human being. As hurtful as it is to be led on, it is also hurtful to have someone look right through you just because they aren't attracted. New Horizons - I totally agree. And despite their reasons, all you can really do is move on. I have a huge suspicion ( I'm with you. I would never be rude and just plain mean because I wasn't attracted to someone. I too have been accused of "leading someone on" but I am not going to stop being friendly because someone, somewhere MAY mistake it for flirting. I think if someone is rude to you, even if it happens more than once and you're not being rude to them, it's their issue and you should look at it as such. It is NOT a reflection of you but an insight into them...IMO anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamteddybearfeelmecuddle Posted July 10, 2006 Share Posted July 10, 2006 Me, I'm not catty or rude enough to call anyone catty or rude, simply because they have different life experiences and reaction than I do. I say live and let live. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AwdreeHpburn Posted July 10, 2006 Share Posted July 10, 2006 Me, I'm not catty or rude enough to call anyone catty or rude, simply because they have different life experiences and reaction than I do. I say live and let live. Iamteddy - you talking about my post?? I wasn't AT ALL referring to you. I was talking about the girls he's talking about. Sorry if I worded that wrong.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jurupa Posted July 10, 2006 Share Posted July 10, 2006 New Horizons - Question, are you approach girls out of the blue? Becuase doing so will make most single girls clam up and act "rude" and what have you. But what they are really doing is putting up their defensves to protect them selfs from the unknown. Besides this there are loads of reason why girls are acting the way they are around you. It could be the way you approach them. Your personality. The girl mood, etc. The list is endlist. Kellbell - I have seen the same type of high maintance girls that are dress to perfect that you talk about all the time. If I can I try and watch guys try and get the girl(s) attention and if they have the guts, approach them only to get rejected. Its funny to watch this go on becuase so many guys never learn, and very few know how to go about with such girls. I don't even pay attention to such girls becuase they typically only want a guy for his money and want him to worship her to no end and meet her every desire. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarge17 Posted July 10, 2006 Share Posted July 10, 2006 There is a very good possibility that it has nothing to do with you. There is a reason why they are still single and you found out why. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haven Posted July 10, 2006 Share Posted July 10, 2006 I'm single, and I talk to a lot of guys and am comfortable around them. However, I also will also avoid some guys -- the ones that I avoid are ones that I'm not interested in, but who are sending out the 'interested' vibes. I can tell that they're interested in me, and I don't want to lead them on. So.. if you are nervous or really self-conscious around girls, then that can be interpreted as signals that you are interested.. which may lead her to avoid you if she's not interested. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AwdreeHpburn Posted July 10, 2006 Share Posted July 10, 2006 I'm single, and I talk to a lot of guys and am comfortable around them. However, I also will also avoid some guys -- the ones that I avoid are ones that I'm not interested in, but who are sending out the 'interested' vibes. I can tell that they're interested in me, and I don't want to lead them on. So.. if you are nervous or really self-conscious around girls, then that can be interpreted as signals that you are interested.. which may lead her to avoid you if she's not interested. Yeh - I totally 2nd that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamteddybearfeelmecuddle Posted July 11, 2006 Share Posted July 11, 2006 There is a reason why they are still single and you found out why. Yes, it could be that they find the person that's flirting with them unattractive...and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fivek Posted July 11, 2006 Share Posted July 11, 2006 Hey NH, From reading your posts, I've noticed something: you appear to be lacking confidence. What exactly do you feel unconfident about? Talking to girls? The REAL secret to learning how to talk to girls is practice. practice, practice, practice. It doesn't matter where, it doesn't matter when. The minute you stop seeing a girl as just a lust object is the minute you become untethered from your fear. I also TOTALLY agree with jurupa, most of the time a single girl that's approached, regardless of whether she's interested in you or not, will still talk in a somewhat defensive mode. This says NOTHING on your part. This just means that she's talking to a stranger (which is she) just as you are. She doesn't know whether you're interested, or you're just being friendly. That works in your favor. This is the part where you should really shine; the cards are in your favor because you know what you want. So what does that mean? The main objectives you should try to keep in mind consist mainly of keeping cool at all times, and being conscious of what you're doing. If you're interested, keep a watch on her actions, but by no means judge her yet. She will base her comfort level on you. I would say either see how it goes after talking for a bit, or if you two are able to remain in contact. If she's not willing to remain in touch after talking to her for a reasonable amount of time, she's either truthfully not interested or just plain clueless. If that's the case, it's her loss. Confidence is more about how you view yourself rather than how you compare yourself. - Fivek Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yeawutever Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 There are many possibilities as to why those single girls tedn to avoid you" They're either with low self-esteem, shy, aren't physically attracted to you, or just waiting for you to make a move and think that if they're direct then you might take it in the wrong way. As for the marry girls who are friendly to you, it's usually b/c due to the fact they're taken, they want a little break for it by talking to someone else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
New_Horizons Posted July 17, 2006 Author Share Posted July 17, 2006 Thanks for all your messages...I will try to be more natural when I talk to girls I'm interested in. And Fivek, you're right, I lack confidence too. Perhaps they sense that as well but the 'taken' girls just don't care either way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yeawutever Posted July 18, 2006 Share Posted July 18, 2006 Your're wlecome and hope everything goes well, good luck!!!!!!!!!! You can always come back here when you need help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheRedQueen Posted July 18, 2006 Share Posted July 18, 2006 I would say that single girls who are bitter becuase of their singular status are the ones you might be talking about. I am a female, and these girls scare the bejeepers out of me too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamteddybearfeelmecuddle Posted July 18, 2006 Share Posted July 18, 2006 I would say that single girls who are bitter becuase of their singular status are the ones you might be talking about. I am a female, and these girls scare the bejeepers out of me too. I doubt it's that simple. Afterall, I've always had plenty of options available to me, and still do. I'm simply aware of the fact that I've been falsely accused of leading men on (by simply speaking to them in a very platonic manner), because they wanted more from me, and I did not reciprocate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheRedQueen Posted July 18, 2006 Share Posted July 18, 2006 There exists also another breed of girls who happen to be happily single by either choice or default, and perhaps choose to be stand-offish to single men such as yourself, to make sure that you don't get the wrong idea, afterall, "single" does not necessarily translate to meaning "available". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamteddybearfeelmecuddle Posted July 18, 2006 Share Posted July 18, 2006 There exists also another breed of girls who happen to be happily single by either choice or default, and perhaps choose to be stand-offish to single men such as yourself, to make sure that you don't get the wrong idea, afterall, "single" does not necessarily translate to meaning "available". True, and make it even 'truer' by replacing "Available" with "Interested in that particular person" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheRedQueen Posted July 18, 2006 Share Posted July 18, 2006 No what I am trying to say is that there a women out there who are perfectly contented with being single, they are not looking for a relationship period. So regardless of whom the particular man is in question, they are just not interested, why? because they are either on a permanent vacation from, or a temporary hiatus, from men and relationships in general. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holiday Posted July 18, 2006 Share Posted July 18, 2006 Sometimes, I have been painfully aware of my vulnerabilities when single and couldn't take even a hint of rejection from eyes that kicked to the side to avoid the slightest indication of interest. In fact, I found my eyes darting away from potentially affectionate gazes mainly because I was fearful of the outcome of that momentary visual interchange when you almost see inside the others' eyes and I think I hid my eyes because I was afraid my fears would be revealed within them. So I never took well to being advanced upon by men since I was never prepared to reveal myself completely unless it was on my own terms. That's why I usually have been the pursuer rather than the pursuant in relationships. I would say, just be sensitive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
friscodj Posted July 20, 2006 Share Posted July 20, 2006 I'm gonna watch out for FriscoDj on this one but I'm going to say the same thing I said in a different but similar thread... That's right, you better keep an eye out for friscodj...I'm watching you... I like what you've done with your living room Ta_ree...great color coordination... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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