RelaxByWater84 Posted June 29, 2006 Share Posted June 29, 2006 In my perfect world Everyone would have no hunger In my perfect world Everyone would have a home In my perfect world Everyone would have some clothes In my perfect world Everyone would have a job In my perfect world Eveeryone would get an education In my perfect world Everyone would love in peace In my perfect world Everyone would be loved In my perfect world Everyone would not cry In my perfect world In my perfect world In my perfect world Is there such a thing As a perfect world Or is it all Just a fantasy? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hazlcha Posted June 29, 2006 Share Posted June 29, 2006 You know the first thing that struck me about this poem was the shape of the paragraph. You might consider changing the lengths of the alternate sentencs to create some interesting shape. The sentiments are beautiful. Here's a lyric to a song I wrote: If I could rewrite the world If I could dream away the sorrow If I controlled tomorrow I'd hide myself today I'd find a place in the sky Where I could take a piece of heaven And with my piece of heaven I'd transform the world Every wrong I'll write I will banish hurt forever In my world there never Will be room, at all, For anything but love Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NKP Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 I really love your poem, i have wrote something like that befor i think i still have it on paper somewhere. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yeawutever Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 What a creative poem, that's exactly how a Utopian society would be like!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mccarleighp Posted July 3, 2006 Share Posted July 3, 2006 i dont think that there is a thing as mush as everyone would like there to be Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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