lanty3 Posted June 25, 2006 Share Posted June 25, 2006 at 46 i`m made up my mind to get out of my shell and find girlfriend. i have no experience to look back on from my younger days. i guess i can see how teens and 20-somethings flirt and get togeather ,but what about people around my age? are the signals more subtle? what are women in thier 30`s and 40`s looking for? i think that`s pretty much the gist of my post. thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted June 25, 2006 Share Posted June 25, 2006 I'm not in my 30s or 40s, but I would say that single women in those age ranges are looking for a man who will be honest, kind, loving, fun, and responsible. if you go to church, join the singles group. how about link removed? have you asked your friends to maybe set you up with some single women they know? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shelly7 Posted June 25, 2006 Share Posted June 25, 2006 Well I'm 31 and I can tell you what I'm looking for it's really very simple: 1. Honesty/loyalty 2. Sense of humor/Best friend 3. Sexual Attraction 4. Respect 5. Someone to write down as an emergency contact. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coollady1957 Posted June 25, 2006 Share Posted June 25, 2006 Well I am 48. so I will give you the things I look for in a person that I would potentially have a relationship with. 1. Honesty and Trustworthiness 2. Kind and compassionate 3. Fun with a great sense of humor 4. Someone to count on to be there for me. a friend and lover 5. Someone that can let me breathe and still be myself and not have to know my every move and action 6. Some one that is respectful and considerate 7. Someone that would have the same moral and ethical values that I follow That was not in any certain order. I do not think that it is much different what women really want no matter the age. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TBAngel Posted June 26, 2006 Share Posted June 26, 2006 I agree with Cool Lady. I think that as we mature and find out that looks aren't everything but attraction is a factor, the underlying word for me is "the connection." I know I'm looking for that connection with someone and that's something hard to find. Someone with the same type of values, honest, trustworthy, attractive (TO ME), sense of humor, etc. but without that underlying current... the connection, it may never go beyond friendship. Not sure if that helps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CheerfulSprocket Posted June 26, 2006 Share Posted June 26, 2006 I agree with all of the above, and particularly Shelly's reason #5. haha. You know, I was thinking about this and I think as I get older, I prize kindness and honesty more and more. And I have also found that generally men who have these qualities usually also have a lot of personal integrity, which I find wildly attractive. Anyway, good luck to you - I'm sending lots of great dating success vibes! Sprocket Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dating Coach Posted June 26, 2006 Share Posted June 26, 2006 You'd be best to ask a guy your age who is single what he does to meet and pick up women. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AwdreeHpburn Posted June 26, 2006 Share Posted June 26, 2006 You'd be best to ask a guy your age who is single what he does to meet and pick up women. I would agree if you hadn't used the words "guy who is single"... Lanty, I think you're at a distinct advantage over teens and 20 somethings just by the very nature that you're older. Seems women my age look at men your age as more mature and experienced, even if they're not. I say confidence is key here. If your display a confidence and level of self assurance that you're a good catch, you're loyal and nice to people, you're already a leg up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starfall Posted June 26, 2006 Share Posted June 26, 2006 He must have a car. He must have a job. He must be self-sufficient. No games. Confident... Great sense of humor... Takes care of himself health wise... Good luck to you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lanty3 Posted June 26, 2006 Author Share Posted June 26, 2006 hello again and thanks for the replies, i see the key here is a calm,mature confidence. self-accepting,self assured. it pretty much sums up what i`ve believed and have been working on. it is a big boost to hear it from the ladies themselves. the next part of this project will be to project these qualities a little more. sense of humor seems to be up there too. i have one but it tends to be somewhat sarcastic. okay ,very sarcastic. as shy as i was i had to learn verbally defend myself from the wiseguy crowd. it wasn`t all that hard to get a fair amount of respect from guys,whether they like me or not, but i`ve always wanted a girl/woman to like me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AwdreeHpburn Posted June 26, 2006 Share Posted June 26, 2006 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
charley Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 Don't be afraid to take advice from younger people. They sometimes know a lot. Experience does not come from age, it comes from having experiences. Most of the people younger than you have more dating experience than you do. thereforeeee, they are qualified to give you advice and help you. Don't limit who you listen to by age. Also, don't limit who you date by age. Women who are most likely to like you are likely going to be younger than you, IMO. i.e. - 5 to 15 years younger. However, one your age might like you to. Just don't think about the age-gap. It doesn't matter. If she likes you and if she doesn't care about an age difference, then neither should you. Don't restrict women by age. That limits who you can be with. That said. You've got to start with the basics. In my opinion, learning to talk to them is the first step. Practice makes perfect. You won't succeed everytime. You just have to keep trying. Even practice talking to other men is good because it still gives conversational skills. I have a lot of relationship experience, but only some dating experience. i.e. - I don't go through large quantities of women, but rather I try to do well with one. Also, I'm somewhat shy in face to face situations with a woman I want. As a result, I haven't dated all that much. So I do understand your problem(s) to some extent. Another good starting point is to make both men and women friends in your area, if you don't already have them. You can get conversation practice with them and advice to. Not to mention another benefit. My platonic lady friends are often wanting to fix me up with some nice girl or another. That said, I'm not sure what else to tell you, except that men and women friends can help a lot. You have to get out there and try to meet people. One possible place to start is joining a church because then you can meet lots of people who are likely to be friendly. If you already belong to a church, then change churches so you can meet a new group of people. I'd recommend the biggest church you can find because then there is enough population there to have many available women of various ages. Warning - Some people in churches, especially some women, can be the worst gossips anywhere. I think this is because they lead boring lives and have nothing better to do, combined with a weak character. So while there are many nice people in churches, some are not nice. This is also true at work, in a bar, or anywhere in life. It's still worth making the effort though. Don't let bad people keep you from the good people. The bigger the church, the less the gossip, IMO. This because they've got more interesting things going on. I don't want to discourage you. I'm just saying get out there and try, but use some caution too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spugly Fuglet Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 Im 40 and a lot of my mates are single again I think you could hit a rich seam here but they my have a family from there past. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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