TheRedQueen Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 I have always been androgynous, in that I've always exhibited personality characteristics and behavioral traits generally ascribed to fit both masculine and feminine gender roles. I've read some sources claiming that "psychological androgyny" is often correlated with creativity and giftedness, and that's great and all but in my experience, my androgyny has effectively alienated me from both the majority of women as well as the majority of men. To make matters worse, I am not gay. From past experiences, I've noticed that my androgynous personality would prove highly beneficial in finding a lesbian mate, but despite my androgyny, I am absolutely straight!!! On the flip side, my androgynous personality often attracts EXTREMELY feminine men, whom, hate to say it, I'm just not interested in. So here I am alone thinking, aha, perhaps I need to find an androgynous man for a mate, but alas, I have yet to meet one. So, can anybody at all relate to what I'm saying in this post? Any general comments, or opinions on androgyny? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brando Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 Well Red, It is hard to say. A perosnality does not jump off the boards here. You seem highly intelligent and well articulated, but it is difficult for me to get a sense of "YOU." From what i remember form a psot or two of yours, you had mentioned you had a bf, or a few bf's. So obviously all is not lost. I never thought about androgynous women before..at least i never really identified clearly an androgynous woman. And i wonder if i met one, would it stand out in my mind. be well, brando Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brando Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 sorry.... non feminine men... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheRedQueen Posted June 23, 2006 Author Share Posted June 23, 2006 No, No, you're getting it all wrong, I would love a man with feminine qualities, such as empathy, or the ability to listen, but it unnerves me when I am with a man,(in an intimate context) who is more feminine than I am. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hosswhispra Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 Interestingly this past spring, I learned in a psychology class that androgynous people (men can be androgynous too) are usually the most well adjusted type of people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brando Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 Maybe a better balance of chromosomes or something is the reason. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nottoogreen Posted June 24, 2006 Share Posted June 24, 2006 No, No, you're getting it all wrong, I would love a man with feminine qualities, such as empathy, or the ability to listen, but it unnerves me when I am with a man,(in an intimate context) who is more feminine than I am. Let me see? What you are saying is that a man more feminine than you - who listens more than you, is more emphatic, caring, kind, soft than you, would "unnerve" you more than a man who is more masculine than you. IMHO a feminine man will enjoy intimacy and pleasure together, a masculine (Neanderthal) will enjoy a body. If so, you are defeating yourself and given the fact that you are highly intelligent, you sadly seem to actually prefer humiliation over enjoyment/care/respect/love/postive thinking. Or in other words, what are you punishing yourself for? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheRedQueen Posted June 24, 2006 Author Share Posted June 24, 2006 once again green, what the bejesus are you talking about?!?!? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nottoogreen Posted June 24, 2006 Share Posted June 24, 2006 once again green, what the bejesus are you talking about?!?!? I am talking about your feelings. Could you open them up. It does work you know! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheRedQueen Posted June 24, 2006 Author Share Posted June 24, 2006 I am talking about your feelings. Could you open them up. It does work you know! I have clearly expressed my feelings, hence the name of this thread, The Alienating Affects of Androgyny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nottoogreen Posted June 24, 2006 Share Posted June 24, 2006 I have clearly expressed my feelings, hence the name of this thread, The Alienating Affects of Androgyny You asked a question, I proposed possible answers. I do not believe it's Androgyny as I am rather Androgyny and I would hate to be intimate with a neanderthal. Are you unhappy with yourself about the complexity and volume of your feelings? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheRedQueen Posted June 24, 2006 Author Share Posted June 24, 2006 Well, that makes two of us, cause I would hate to be intimate with a neanderthal as well. And no I am not unhappy with myself in regards to the depth and complexity of my feelings, in fact, quite the opposite is true thank you very much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nottoogreen Posted June 24, 2006 Share Posted June 24, 2006 Maybe a better balance of chromosomes or something is the reason. Genetics is like a set of schematics for a computer, software is what makes the difference. A few memories never recalled control us beyond our wildest imagination. A few words can profoundly change someones life for the better or the worse. The more I read ENA and learn about people here, the more evidence I see that we are influenced mostly by our environment and experiences. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nottoogreen Posted June 24, 2006 Share Posted June 24, 2006 Well, that makes two of us, cause I would hate to be intimate with a neanderthal as well. And no I am not unhappy with myself in regards to the depth and complexity of my feelings, in fact, quite the opposite is true thank you very much. Is there anything you are unhappy about? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AntiLove_SuperStar Posted June 24, 2006 Share Posted June 24, 2006 I love androgyny and find it a massive turnon in either gender - and I surely can't be the only one. By being this way you may be at a disadvantage given that more men favour typically feminine females (and hey...it's biology, can't really shoot them down for it) than androgynous ones, HOWEVER, I find that intellectual men who tend also to favour the arts will look beyond stereotypical concepts of what is desirable in a woman. You could try an experiement. Go out one night dressed and acting the role of what you think is "feminine/typical girl", see how men react to you. You will not like it. Forevermore, you will be glad to be how you are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CHINOOKA Posted June 24, 2006 Share Posted June 24, 2006 I think she means in a relationship. Some people are more sterotyped in their perceptions of what men and women are, or of what feminine is. I don't equate weekness, timidity, smallness, foolishness, or any of the frivolous things that are considered "femine." I consider a woman to be fully capable of anger, physical strength, or any of the so called masculine traits. Our ideas about sexuality and roles are shaped by our society and culture. Some of us have developed ideas outside the box. Ya, people might react to outsiders differently. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Siriana Posted June 24, 2006 Share Posted June 24, 2006 Well, if you can be warm and emotional toward a bf you care about than your appearance and style is something irrelevant... Different tasts, different people... If you are using that as a thing to bail out from showing feelings than you have a problem... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheRedQueen Posted June 24, 2006 Author Share Posted June 24, 2006 Is there anything you are unhappy about? Well, considering that I'm a human being equipped with a wide range of emotions concerning not only my past, but my present, as well as my future, yeah I would say that in some regards, and to certain extents, I am unhappy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dako Posted June 24, 2006 Share Posted June 24, 2006 I can't say I've ever been put off by women who don't toe line regarding femininity. I've been attracted to women lacking in girliness and admired their straightforward approach to life. Some women aren't working so hard at fitting a mould. My ex was such a woman, and she carries no purse, but has a wallet, chapstick and 7 inch knife in her pocket. I wonder more about ultrafemmiegirls or swaggering machoguys. The affectations get tedious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheRedQueen Posted June 24, 2006 Author Share Posted June 24, 2006 I love androgyny and find it a massive turnon in either gender - and I surely can't be the only one. By being this way you may be at a disadvantage given that more men favour typically feminine females (and hey...it's biology, can't really shoot them down for it) than androgynous ones, HOWEVER, I find that intellectual men who tend also to favour the arts will look beyond stereotypical concepts of what is desirable in a woman. You could try an experiement. Go out one night dressed and acting the role of what you think is "feminine/typical girl", see how men react to you. You will not like it. Forevermore, you will be glad to be how you are. Been there, done that, and you most definitely got a point, because all it successfully does is flare the feminazi in me. Grrrrrr! Maybe I'm just an androgynous misanthrope. Maybe I need to learn to accept this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daddy Bear Posted June 25, 2006 Share Posted June 25, 2006 I wonder more about ultrafemmiegirls or swaggering machoguys. The affectations get tedious.ah Dako, i so agree... and i feel the same toward swaggering macho girls and ultrafemmieguys. unnatural gait, affected speech, the whole bit... these to me are the trappings of the sexually insecure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsallgrand Posted June 25, 2006 Share Posted June 25, 2006 I love androgyny and find it a massive turnon in either gender - and I surely can't be the only one. HOWEVER, I find that intellectual men who tend also to favour the arts will look beyond stereotypical concepts of what is desirable in a woman. Ditto. That's been my experience too. There are also some men who are neither intellectual nor artsy-creative who have no problem seeing past roles. I think the creative types have an easier time, and are great bc they have developed the ability to see things many ways. Appreciate many senses of beauty and value. P.S. This thread stuck that Crash Test Dummies song in my head now. And they love each other so, androgynous Closer than you know, love each other so, androgynous Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dako Posted June 25, 2006 Share Posted June 25, 2006 Gender isn't a role, unless it's just an act. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheRedQueen Posted June 25, 2006 Author Share Posted June 25, 2006 Gender isn't a role, unless it's just an act. Dakosan, hai so desune!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsallgrand Posted June 25, 2006 Share Posted June 25, 2006 androgynous an'drójunus 1. Relating to or exhibiting both female and male sex organs but with a predominantly female appearance 2. Having both male and female characteristics I was assuming Red Queen was referring to the second definition of androgyny. Dako, you're right. However, we all have our ideas of what it means to be a woman or a man or something outside of the two gender dichotomy. Some are more open than others. We do play roles in soceity even if they are not recognized by ourselves as such. In others eyes, we are labeled. To other people, we play a part they often come to rely upon. It's just how people identify and remember each other. Being yo'self is the thing to do, and deciding who you are, still...the outside world relations can be more clear-cut for certain folks than others. The discord between who you know yourself to be and how other people view one can be brutal and confusing; especially at the time when a person is finding a place in the world and discovering self-identity. Just a few thoughts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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