why are relationships such a big deal?

[dpressedone89]

Ive noticed lately that alot of people who are suicidal are so because of not having a boyfriend or girlfriend. It seems that if someone turns 25 a virgin they feel their life is meaningless.I can understand people considering suicide because of a lost love,(as I myself do on a semi daily basis), or feeling unloved by parents, but not having a bf or gf? i dont understand that. Can someone explain to me why this is so important to everybody?

-sTITChes

[xfault_linex]

Honestly I think it's selfish to think of suicide over such immature things. If someone is still a virgin it means that the right person may not come along until later. It's a not a huge deal. I agree with you. Then again, wanting to commit suicide over anything is selfish because somewhere someone does care about the person whether they know it or not and it hurts those who do care. I've tried twice, the second time my fiancee walked in on me and he says it still haunts him. I can understand why, If I had walked in on someone I love after they just sliced their wrist I would be horrified as well.

[yeawutever]

Yea I don't understand either and suicide is definitely the cowards' way out. You're in your fantasy when you're thinking about suicide, there's no reason for it. It's normal to go through anxiety and stress along with once in a while depression, but to think of killing yourself, that's where you need thearapy right away.

Nothing wrong with being virgin either, shows that you're right for the right person and rigth moment, that you won't randomly bang someone you find on the streets.

[Proactive Paradigm]

Life is pointless if it isn't shared with people you love, and a partner is the strongest form of that love. It's something you just can't get from family or friendship. People who don't have much experienced with partners (hi) feel they are missing out (and they are). When someone says "oh, I hate being with my partner sometimes, they really **** me off" to someone who would kill for that level of attention/affection, it hurts more than the coarsest insult.

 

Not to mention that culture, and a lot of people on here even, seem to emphasise that sex is 'teh win' and whilst it is, people who can't get any don't like to hear it, y'know? Getting older just reinforces the fact you're a loser if you aren't scoring regularly.

 

So yeah, something like that. Mine's a bit of it all - lost love, no love, and then unrequited love. It'll probably be the latter that gets me.

[Dako]

There's a lot of peer pressure to have relationships at that age, as well as a hormonal boost that's off the charts. Biology is screaming at the person to make lots of babies. Career or school add tension to the mix so the horny person is on edge.

 

I'd never want to be that age again.

Maybe 30, though.

[Tesseract_Witch]

As mentioned; craven people are subhuman. They don't deserve pity.

[neva_black_n_white]

I think half the time the importance of something comes by social norms or expectancies. Lets be fair:

1: you go out - you see couples

2: your friends are with someone

3: God damn it ... your folks had to be together for you to be produced (unless you were a test tube baby in which case..you know ... still... the ultimate respect to you all *big smiles*)

4: Its generally all around you

 

people seem to think they have to conform to the majority or their a freak in the minority. which is just wrong. if we compared the majority in a diff light then maybe the minority would be what we should conform to. (for some that latter sentence may well be confusing, please do ignore)

 

all im saying is. sometimes. people get a little hot headed and think they need to do what everyone around them does.

 

i know for a period of time i smoked.. just because people did.

 

ive got friends that have lost their virginity just so they werent the odd one out.

 

its STUPID

 

i bet i could list zillion (maybe not so zillions but alot of people) who have regrets because they jumped the gun.

 

 

anyway. i can understand how people must feel if they continuously feel alone. so i think i can understand that. sometimes you hold onto the hope of having someone who relates to you .... and then 10 years have passed and mr or mrs right havent come along... all hope is gone. with everything else.

 

people often try to justify all sadness in not having a bf or a gf and as difficult as this may be to hear.. its not just because of that. there is a cluster of problems around that for you then to feel that a relationship is the final blow to the heart.

 

i may well have lost track. i agree and disagree basically.

 

neva x

[Bethany]

I don't think you can truly understand what being clinically depressed is like unless you have been there and it is certainly not cowardly to want an end to it.

But being sad and lonely is something that you can change and those who cannot 'go on' because they have no bf/gf are mainly suffering from Self-pity.

[Spugly Fuglet]

ITs true I think its down the the enless presser we are under to "have sex, make love work, buy as one" etc. Endlesss posters and add of happy familys.

 

Truth is I was happy on my own, and Im happy now with my wife.

[brando]

Or could it be we are terrified of being with ourselves. ???

[ElektraHere]

Yea I don't understand either and suicide is definitely the cowards' way out. You're in your fantasy when you're thinking about suicide, there's no reason for it. It's normal to go through anxiety and stress along with once in a while depression, but to think of killing yourself, that's where you need thearapy right away.

Nothing wrong with being virgin either, shows that you're right for the right person and rigth moment, that you won't randomly bang someone you find on the streets.

 

I have always thought suicide was a selfish way out but then I was knocking on that door. I am a lot older and not a virgin but I had my heart beaten up by someone who could have cared less. He then promised me he would try to be a good friend. He broke it and then I spiraled. I really was going to do it. I credit good friends who kept me on the line for hours to talk me down. I think when you hit rock bottom you just don't know what way to go. I am glad I didn't and I am thankful for my friends.

 

Ailec its not a fantasy world that one is in, its a world of pain, sadness, and desperation for contentment.

[neva_black_n_white]

my sisters clinically depressed. i understand that world. but at the same time. a few of my comments stand

[AnotherBrokenDoll]

Well i kind of used to be that way... I think the reason is when your feeling so down and like no one cares, all you really want is someone to care. Someone to love you for the person you are and not for who you pretend to be. Someone to hold you in their arms and tell you they'll love you no matter what. I know all people want that but the people wo are already down feel that pain more. I think people just want someone to save them thats all...

[Proactive Paradigm]

I think the reason is when your feeling so down and like no one cares, all you really want is someone to care. Someone to love you for the person you are and not for who you pretend to be. Someone to hold you in their arms and tell you they'll love you no matter what. I know all people want that but the people wo are already down feel that pain more. I think people just want someone to save them thats all...

 

Bingo. Even though it is selfish to think someone is going to come save your skin, depression brings out that kind of behaviour anyway. I know it does in me; I've tried to be selfless to my friends and others, but nothing ever comes of it besides doormat status. So whilst I realise that praying for a saviour is pointless and greedy, I still do it every day, because it seems to be the only thing that.... soothes me? I dunno.

 

But yeah, Roz nailed it.

[Bethany]

LISTEN TO ME!!! IM DYING OK!!! I JUST WANT YOUR LOVE! IS THAT TO MUCH TO ASK???????

 

 

Try telling that to YOU.

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

I have had relationships for years but I'm a freak anyway.

 

Once again, I'm ready to reiterate that they don't necessarily make you happy.

 

It does indeed seem ridiculous to me that someone would feel their life was over if they were still a virgin at 25, but then again I am not them, and just because of the life I'VE led, doesn't make it any less significant in their minds..I try and be empathetic.

[Spugly Fuglet]

as a madman Im with anti on this, tuck me years to work out how not to sruw up a relationship and thats from failing some many times.

 

I did not get wed until 35 tells you some thing, and the love of my life walked out of it and i have not cad contact with her for 13 years.

 

See lifes a mess but im still here.

 

I know my depreshtions are part of my illness now

[chemica]

It seems that if someone turns 25 a virgin they feel their life is meaningless.I can understand people considering suicide because of a lost love,(as I myself do on a semi daily basis), or feeling unloved by parents, but not having a bf or gf? i dont understand that.

 

To society, being a 25 year old virgin is less socially acceptable than being homosexual. At least they write books to help people deal with the latter.

 

I want to save sex for when I am in a relationship with a woman I love. But when you are shy and have never had a girlfriend, it begins to feel hopeless. The average age people lose their virginity is now 15-16. If you are in your twenties and you have never been there, it makes you feel like years have been stolen from your life.

 

Well i kind of used to be that way... I think the reason is when your feeling so down and like no one cares, all you really want is someone to care. Someone to love you for the person you are and not for who you pretend to be. Someone to hold you in their arms and tell you they'll love you no matter what. I know all people want that but the people wo are already down feel that pain more. I think people just want someone to save them thats all...

 

Very Very true, I definitely feel this way.

[Spugly Fuglet]

chemica your right im 40 and a homosexual virgin in fact most of us are.

Do i feel shame at that no so why hetarolsexual shame then.

 

Good point