serenity25 Posted June 20, 2006 Share Posted June 20, 2006 I'm interested to hear any stories of other people who found out their ex was engaged within a year after their breakup. I went into NC with my ex after a big fight on the phone and we haven't spoken since then...but I found out through a website that he was engaged to another woman just a few months after that argument... engaged after a few months of dating. We had been broken up for approximately nine months and their wedding is apparently scheduled for this September. Maybe to some people getting engaged eight or nine months after a bad breakup isn't too soon, but when this person had promised his life to me, told my family he wanted to marry me and how wonderful I was, named our future kids, etc... it came as a shock. Plus, he has known her before only as a member of his bar hopping group I suppose. She just allows him to go out with her and get plastered whenever he wants, so I definitely understand why he would be dating her, but to marry her.... he doesn't even know I know and I wouldn't if I hadn't been checking these sites. A part of me wants to call him but I know I can't. All the facts surrounding this, which I've talked about in previous threads, just leave me wondering how and why someone in an emotional state where they are always getting drunk or possibly high, who ran out on a commitment less than a year prior, is suddenly engaged and planning a wedding! Does this seem strange to anyone else and does anyone else have stories to share about a similar situation? Did your ex get engaged and go through with it or not....? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scotcha Posted June 20, 2006 Share Posted June 20, 2006 My ex was engaged and is now married. I say it's better to let someone else deal with all the reasons why your relationship didn't work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
friscodj Posted June 20, 2006 Share Posted June 20, 2006 My ex was engaged and is now married. I say it's better to let someone else deal with all the reasons why your relationship didn't work. Excellent point. Often during our period of grief after a break up, we get sucked into the idea of thinking our ex will take care of any and all issues they had when they were with us, find someone better than us, and live happily ever after... The question you should ask is if your ex is married and happy within one year...and then keep an eye on it and see what happens a year after that... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shes2smart Posted June 20, 2006 Share Posted June 20, 2006 I'm on the other side of that situation. Left my cheating ex 5 years ago (end of june 2001), started chatting with a guy online 2 months later (aug. 2001) met him end of sept. 2001, he proposed a week later (oct. 2001) and we were married by july 2002. I suppose some people would look at that timeline and call it a rebound relationship. But our 4th wedding anniversary is coming up in a matter of weeks and we are both still happy with each other and the relationship. If this is a 'rebound,' I shoulda been having rebound relationships years ago. My cheating ex and I were living together and had discussed marriage. All bets were off when I caught him cheating, though. After prior break-ups, I had spent upwards of a year single & not dating. This time, I decided there was no point in wallowing in misery that long. It was over, and blaming all men for my ex's failings wasn't going to get me anywhere but a very angry & bitter place. Been there, done that...it wasn't fun or productive. So, I took something I learned in my riding classes and applied it to my personal life -- "You got to get back on the horse what threw you." Dunno how it would work for anyone else, but for me at that point in my life, it worked out just fine. If I was on the other end of the situation, (say, if I learned my cheating ex was getting married a year after our break-up) I'd just wish him well (mentally--I certainly wouldn't bother having any actual contact with him) and let it go....and wish his new gf/wife luck because she'd sure as heck need it. I dunno that I'd even bother checking up on him. Seems to me that's a little risky...when people do stuff like that, they generally wind up only hurting/irritating themselves. You're not the first one to post here upset/irritated/curious about something they saw on their ex's blog/myspace/xanga/website. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spawn Posted June 20, 2006 Share Posted June 20, 2006 I am really not sure whether my ex has got back with her ex. I was the rebound so to speak whenever i look back at the relationship. The point is they have a life, i don't think of her as a loser or a person who messed up in the relationship cause of her feelings for her ex. Like most of us i was pretty much upset to hear she was back with him ( they are going to get engaged this december it seems). Probably, they understood they couldn't live part from each other, although her ex was little abusive when they were dating, it seems he realizes his mistakes and probably knows what she wants from him. Your ex's have a right to live, choose what they want to do with their lives, change for the better and if you think they committed hara kiri in the relationship then they need to be given the chance to work it out with somebody else. It hurts i understand but really you need to leave them alone for their own good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarnelianButterfly Posted June 20, 2006 Share Posted June 20, 2006 I have a good friend that was in a long relationship that turned out to be very unstable. Her BF was mentally off and manipulated and emotionally abused her. She broke it off with him and was a few weeks later at a friends birthday party, she ran into a guy she knew for years. She said it was like the first sunshine after a bitter black thunderstorm. Before the end of the party then were planning to move in together, get a dog, and eventually get married. They are one of the happiest couples I know. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
friscodj Posted June 20, 2006 Share Posted June 20, 2006 It hurts i understand but really you need to leave them alone for their own good. For your own good too... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spaulding18 Posted June 20, 2006 Share Posted June 20, 2006 I found out my ex ex was getting married about a year and three months after she dropped me. She dropped me for this guy and I was so nervous about the day I would hear they were getting married. Turned out it was the best thing that could've happened. It was like the book was truly closed. Any hope that i had inside was 100% gone and I knew I truly had to move on. I will admit for about a week or two I was down, but after that it was very good for me. I hear she is very happy now and I'm happy for her. Oh and trust me when it was over I was devastated. This was back in '03. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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