Lansing Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 If I set up a date today for the weekend, I am wondering if girls in general expect a guy to call later in the week to confirm things or touch base. Actually, in this case, the girl is the one that initiated contact (via e-mail) and suggested we get together. I just made the plans and she said she is good with them. I don't really see what I would say if I called her.. haha.. I just want to meet her and see how things go (I have met her in person before, but, haven't really talked to her much).... I am just wondering if girls in general expect the guy to call... and to "confirm" or whatever?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PRSOV Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 I think it would be a wise idea to call her one or two days before the date just to confirm with her that she is still good to go ahead, and just to make sure she is all good with it... even thought it was her idea... something might have come up since you last spoke with her. Good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scout Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 She may confirm since she set it up, but if she hasn't by Thursday, it won't hurt for you to do so. Let's just say in theory you set it up. Personally, I like having some kind of confirmation. Only because I've been blown off in the past! When that happens to you even just once, you get really paranoid it's going to happen again if you don't have some kind of confirmation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kellbell Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 Yes, absoutely. I always appretiate a confirmation. And when I make plans, I always call a day or so in advance to confirm. And that is not just for dates with guys but get-togethers with my friends as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sir sirloin Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 I wouldn't confirm. If someone breaks a date without informing the other person beforehand they lack integrity and aren't worth being interested in. This is the 21st century, everyone has a cell phone, email, and voice mail so there isn't any excuse for not warning someone beforehand you aren't going to make a meeting. However if you can't take it and are freaky paranoid what you should do is call and say something like "I'm sorry but I got confused about what time we were meeting, was it 6 or 8?" It isn't the best idea but it is better than saying "I just wanted to make sure we were still going out, I'm quite desperate and am such a doormat that I've been stood up many times in the past. Now I can't handle the anxiety anymore, please like me?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hosswhispra Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 Yes, I would confirm the date plans with her. This is what I would want. If the date is for the weekend, call her Thursday and confirm. Good luck & have fun Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scout Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 However if you can't take it and are freaky paranoid what you should do is call and say something like "I'm sorry but I got confused about what time we were meeting, was it 6 or 8?" It isn't the best idea but it is better than saying "I just wanted to make sure we were still going out, I'm quite desperate and am such a doormat that I've been stood up many times in the past. Now I can't handle the anxiety anymore, please like me?" Well...we female posters are saying we appreciate a confirmation. Obviously, we view it as a courtesy, not a sign of desperation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kellbell Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 "Obviously, we view it as a courtesy, not a sign of desperation." Absolutely agree with this. I confirm everything, plans I have with friends, family, appointments.. common courtesy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coollady1957 Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 I agree that a confirm would be nice. It would be just a courtesy type thing as some one had mentioned. I always confirm any meeting, date, lunch or whatever it may be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dating Coach Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 If I set up a date today for the weekend, I am wondering if girls in general expect a guy to call later in the week to confirm things or touch base. Actually, in this case, the girl is the one that initiated contact (via e-mail) and suggested we get together. I just made the plans and she said she is good with them. I don't really see what I would say if I called her.. haha.. I just want to meet her and see how things go (I have met her in person before, but, haven't really talked to her much).... I am just wondering if girls in general expect the guy to call... and to "confirm" or whatever?? If you have been clear to her, "I will pick you up at your house at 7 PM on Thursday" then you do not need to call again to verify. Simply show up. As long as she has your number, if things change then she will call you to reschedule. If not and you show up and she isn't there, dump her rude and don't talk to her again. She obviously didn't care about your feelings and you shouldn't want to be with a loser like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Siriana Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 depends, how the deal sounded. Is she going to call you to set details, are you going to call her to set details, have you already arranged everything? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
charley Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 Not because of etiquette either, although it's nice to hear that the ladies seem to appreciate it. I'd do it for myself. I want to know. Frankly, I think it's a sign of intelligence, common sense, and maturity to confirm. I'd do it for a business appointment. Surely she's at least as important as that. So confirm. Confirming is the way to make sure you (and she) have the details the same (time, place, etc). Without confirming, one of you could end up standing up the other by accident. That's so terrible. Also, as a man, I find that I'm afflicted with male hearing disorder. (I just made that phrase up, but the problem is real). It means that sometimes we guys don't pay proper attention, or just hear what we want to. Other times we heard right and she made the screw up, but it's still going to be the guy's fault (even with a nice, sweet women). Trust me, if you don't confirm and then one of you makes a bobo, it'll be your fault because you're the guy. I accept this quality in women since it normally is my fault. Most women are like this, not all. So confirm it, IMO. FYI - This may not apply to your case, but sometimes mean women will stand a guy up on purpose. Flaky ones by accident. It's not always the guys fault. Confirming will prevent these problems. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RayKay Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 I would confirm personally, I think it's a nice thing to do. It lets me know for one, they are still interested and going to show up, and two, it lets me know they were thinking about me. I have NEVER thought badly of a man calling to confirm. So I don't know what all this about "being a pansy" stuff is about. Especially when plans are set several days in advance, it does not hurt to call the day before or of just to verify the details anyway. It does not sound desperate, you are not asking "are we still on, please PLEASE go out with me", you are saying "I'll pick you up at 7:00 then, looking forward to it!". I always confirm plans I set up myself, and just think it is a nice thing to do. For the record, the first time I ever even TALKED to my boyfriend on the phone it was because he was calling to confirm details for our first date (he asked me out online). Guess how many bonus points he got by doing that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dating Coach Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 Without confirming, one of you could end up standing up the other by accident. That's so terrible. How do you stand someone up on accident? If they have a planned date and she doesn't call and doesn't show, then that is not on accident, it's on purpose. Even if by some remote chance that the girl did "forget" then obviously she wasn't very interested in you anyway. If you met some girl you were excited about, would you "forget" that you had scored a date with her on Thursday? I don't think so. You would remember and be excited about it. If you are going to call to "confirm" the date, I wouldn't call and ask them if we are still on-because why wouldn't you be unless someone said something to make you think otherwise. I'd just throw in a random comment at the end of the (short) conversation saying something like, "Well, see you Thursday at 7." I don't know, "asking" if you still have a date when they already agreed to a date is a little weak IMO. I'd rather assume they are still on but make a comment like the one I mentioned above. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luke Skywalker Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 I always confirm, but do it confidentily, like, you would say, you are seeing if she is still on, or you are confirming our arrangements rather than phrase it like you are asking her again if she wants to go out with you, or are looking for an out yourself (if you dont sound enthusiastic). I figure, my time is important, if someone is going to flake, better know now than later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
charley Posted June 15, 2006 Share Posted June 15, 2006 Business appointments, doctors appointments, and any other appointment have the possibility that the date, or especially the time, can be written or remembered wrong, or was never heard correctly in the first place. Hasn't anyone ever missed an appointment by accident? A date is a type of appointment. A misunderstanding or miscommunication can happen. So an accidental standup could happen. It's an irrelevant issue really, because there are so many other reasons to confirm. There are so many good reasons to confirm. So do it. The confident approach of verifying details like time are a good way to handle it. You don't need to ask if you're still on because confirming the time will tell you if you're still on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Superfreak Posted June 15, 2006 Share Posted June 15, 2006 If I'm going out with someone (on a date or with friends) and lets say we made the plans a week in advance. A day or two before I'd confirm than the day of I'd confirm again an hour or so before we're set to go. I'm always concerned about last minute cancellations because it's happened alot to me in the past so I'm big on confirmations. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dako Posted June 15, 2006 Share Posted June 15, 2006 I'd confirm it. My memory is so bad I appreciate a jingle. I assume others might feel the same. Life gets hectic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lansing Posted June 15, 2006 Author Share Posted June 15, 2006 Well.. I am SURE she will be there and that I don't have to remind her about it. You would understand if you read her e-mail to me.... Thing is, I sort of don't want to call her... I would rather just see her in person since I think I would be nervous for some lame reason to call her... I think if I saw her in person things would just go smoother... but, if I am feeling "casual" on Saturday afternoon I will call her.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scout Posted June 15, 2006 Share Posted June 15, 2006 Ok, but just remember in your original post you were concerned with if girls like a confirmation call, not so much about how you would feel personally making one. Anyway, keep an open mind to just at least making a courteous call to her letting her know that you're looking forward to the date. As you can see, most of the female posters on here strongly advocate such a call, and some of the male posters gave great points on why they make them when they have a date. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
samis Posted June 16, 2006 Share Posted June 16, 2006 Yeah, I'd go with a pre-date call - especially when you've started dating someone. When you're older, life's busy and getting stood up on a Friday night plain ol' sucks for anyone. Though like someone said, be confident (i.e., "so we're on for 7. Yeah, Mediterranean over on so-and-so street, blah blah.") Think about it from her end also. "It's been a week since we made plans. Hasn't called. Are we really on? Shoot, should I call him? Don't want to sound desperate. How well do I really know this guy?" The added bonus - you give her the opportunity to break the date. Sounds counterintuitive but you'd be surprised how many people say yes when asked out but flake when it's time (without offering to reschedule.) Saved myself a couple bad/uninterested/awkward dates that way. Oh yeah, a couple days before the big night is what I do. Eases the entire: "Shoot I called Thursday evening for our date tonight. It's Friday afternoon - on a workday - and she hasn't called back. What gives." Remember, we all have lives, sleep nights and some of us work for a living. From an older person's viewpoint. Aren't into the whole IM, email/online 24 hours a day thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scout Posted June 16, 2006 Share Posted June 16, 2006 Well said, Samis! And welcome to eNotalone. Hope we'll be seeing you around! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CheerfulSprocket Posted June 16, 2006 Share Posted June 16, 2006 I think it's great to get a confirmation call, even aside from the practical, functional benefits. I love it and always give major points for that! Plus, as long as it's not a clingy type of thing, it leaves me with a nice warm feeling to know that he's thinking of me and looking forward to meeting. Also, I can't think of any women friends (and I went to a women's college, so I've spent a lot of time around women) who wouldn't think a confirmation call is polite and/or charming. Sprocket Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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