Guys i need ur help on how to read this girl

[jackdavis]

Ok so i asked this girl to our leavers ball, but because im so shy it was only as friends and she said yes. Since then we went out with friends a few time and she seemed as though she liked me a bit but when i asked her if she wanted to go cinema with me, she said she'd rather go as friends due to exams in a week and then see what happens over summer. So then recently i decided to ask if she still wanted go the ball as just friends and she said yeah and once again she'd want to go out sometime after. Now i cant really tell if this is because shes shy and doesnt want to go the ball and be 'with' me in front of the whole year, or whether she just doesnt want to go out with me, i mean i cant see why she keeps sayin she wants to see what happens but not be willing to do that whenever ive asked her, i mean its pretty traditional to go a ball as a couple. Im not sure whether ive looked too far into this but it seems like the fact she says she wants to see what happens but the fact she never brings herself to do that means she may never want to.

[bhzmafia]

It sounds like she just wants to be friends... sorry

 

Maybe she is being sincere though, its hard to tell without knowing the girl. You as well persist once exams are over, exams are pretty dam important after all, and its understandable as to why she might not want to do anything until theyre over.

[friscodj]

Welcome to ENA jackdavis!

 

It sounds to me like you made a new friend...who has you in her back pocket...

 

A couple of points on that:

 

1) In the future, if you think you might want to be more than friends with a girl, even if you are shy, you don't need to be the first to mention the word "friend". Then you menton that people usually go to the ball together as a couple and can't figure out what's going on? It's because you "friend-zoned" yourself right at the start...

 

2) Whenever I hear words to the effect of, "we'll see what happens" or an excuse for being busy, that shows disinterest but she might later on be interested. Essentially she wants to "keep you around" just in case.

 

3) You've shown interest in her but what has she shown you? A lukewarm response I'd say. It should be balanced. And be careful about falling into the trap of following these hopes that things will change. What evidence has she given you to show that she is interested in you romantically? Go with that and not hopes based on nothing...

 

4) Put yourself in her shoes. What would you do if you were interested in someone romantically? Wouldn't you be more excited and make being with them a higher priority?

[bebecole]

shes probably stressed about her exams and doesnt want anything getting in the way of that right now..

id keep it at a mutual friendship for now and see what develops..

dont push her though.. if she wants a relationship she'll aproach u.

[charley]

Wait until after exams. Then ask again.

 

Next time don't say "Just as friends".

 

Just ask her out without specifying "as friends".

 

Try holding her hand or something. Just do something to see how she reacts.

 

Next time ask her out on a date. Use the word "date".

 

If she balks, then just ask her straight out how she feels about you. Then you'll know if she's shy or just not interested. Shy people can be tamed with kindness and patience (much like a scared cat). Not interested people are a hopeless case. Not interested and keeping you around just in case is cruel, IMO.

 

I don't think you should give up yet. However, life is short. If you're going to be turned down then stop dragging it out. Make a move (after exams). Find out. You'll either succeed or have to move on. Moving on isn't so bad because there's millions of other women in the world. Either way you need closure.

 

All guys have had this same experience. I've actually found it a relief to be turned down once and for all so I could move on. Rejection is not the thing to fear most. Not knowing or not trying is the worst thing. So go for it and find out. Don't make getting her your goal. Making finding out where you stand your goal. She either likes you or she doesn't. You just need to find out once and for all. If she says any more of that "we'll see" stuff after exams, that means "No, not ever." i.e. - we'll see or maybe means maybe the first time. The second time it means "No way, not ever".

 

If she isn't your girlfriend within 2 weeks of exams being over, then forget you ever met her and move on.

 

P.S. - that Friscodj guy is wise (based on what I read). Listen to him too.