RayF Posted June 7, 2006 Share Posted June 7, 2006 This actually has never happened to me when directly asking out a girl on a date but i want to ask out this girl who works at the optomotrist eyeglasses shop assuming the convo goes well (and that she's there) when I go to pick up my glasses. I have no idea if she has a boyfriend but she wears a ton of rings on each hand, one on her ring finger so i fear that she might actually be married! In any case though, how have you guys replied/reacted to "I have a boyfriend" or "I'm married"? I'm not sure what i would say back in that potentially awkward situation? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Mister1 Posted June 7, 2006 Share Posted June 7, 2006 Run! It's probably better to try suss these things out first, asking general questions to see if the answer will come out. Like "so what are you doing this weekend?" or "So do you live with anyone?" That way it's just general conversation starters but you can obtain the information you're after to avoid asking them out later on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CharLit Posted June 7, 2006 Share Posted June 7, 2006 Just say he's a lucky bastard and laugh it off... not such a big deal is it? I'm sure she'll only be flattered! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
friscodj Posted June 7, 2006 Share Posted June 7, 2006 Laugh it off and say "Have a nice day." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doyathink Posted June 7, 2006 Share Posted June 7, 2006 She replies " I have a boyfriend" what do you do? Turn around and go away! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mccarleighp Posted June 7, 2006 Share Posted June 7, 2006 just start off with talking to her and try to find out that way if she is with anyone good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dubzuk Posted June 7, 2006 Share Posted June 7, 2006 at the end of the day, if she is married then dont let it bother u because at least u have tried, and if u didn't try then i will regret it later down the line so just get for it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pip Posted June 7, 2006 Share Posted June 7, 2006 When you ask her, don't make a big deal by saying "do you want to go out with me"?. Instead, make it more casual with something like "would you like to catch up over coffee sometime?". That way, when she says she has a boyfriend, it's not as bad. Just smile and say, "he's a lucky guy" and be cool. You never know... one day she might not have a boyfriend, and she might remember what a nice gentleman you were and how graciously you took it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Q10 Posted June 7, 2006 Share Posted June 7, 2006 Just tell her "on that's cool, how about a man-friend?" then laugh and slowly walk away Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vert Posted June 7, 2006 Share Posted June 7, 2006 I agree with everyone here.... Just brush that dirt off your shoulder, tell her "he's a lucky man to have you", walk away with a smile, and forget about her entirely. You took a swing, struck out, and now you go back to the bench. You will bat another day, but at least you didn't go down looking at the strikeout -- you swung away. Kudos. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJRadical Posted June 7, 2006 Share Posted June 7, 2006 You don't sound like you have much experience at asking out girls directly at all...generally speaking girls that wear a ton of rings are very young and not married...i could be wrong though...let us know how it goes...i say you a 10 to 1 underdog cause your already stressing just thinking about it... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iceman26 Posted June 7, 2006 Share Posted June 7, 2006 In any case though, how have you guys replied/reacted to "I have a boyfriend" or "I'm married"? I'm not sure what i would say back in that potentially awkward situation? Most girls will make a point of bringing it up if they think the conversation may lead up to a "asking out" situation. When a girl tells you she has a husband or boyfriend, don't miss a beat. Say "Cool, how long have you guys been together?" Politely end or continue the conversation at your leisure, and then move on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DN Posted June 8, 2006 Share Posted June 8, 2006 You don't sound like you have much experience at asking out girls directly at all...generally speaking girls that wear a ton of rings are very young and not married...i could be wrong though...let us know how it goes...i say you a 10 to 1 underdog cause your already stressing just thinking about it... underdog?? That wouldn't mean anything disrespectful would it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Q10 Posted June 8, 2006 Share Posted June 8, 2006 underdog?? That wouldn't mean anything disrespectful would it? link removed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DN Posted June 8, 2006 Share Posted June 8, 2006 link removed so long as we are clear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJRadical Posted June 8, 2006 Share Posted June 8, 2006 Underdog, as in the chances are against him. I guess they don't gamble in Canaduh, EH? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RayF Posted June 8, 2006 Author Share Posted June 8, 2006 Yeah i'm not gonna lie, I am inexperienced. All but one of my exes asked me out. When it comes to asking girls out I know what to do and how to say it, i just never do it because i have a BIG fear of rejection. It just has to do with how i was brought up. Regardless I'm trying to get out of my negative, fear ridden mindframe and take some chances. I've asked three girls out in my lifetime. 1) the first girlfriend, ex of two years who said no because she friendzoned me and then when i walked away she changed her mind 2) one girl i sort of knew from school and she replied "possibly" with silence following. That one confused the hell out of me and i just left, always made eye contact with her at school but never talked to her agian. 3) the third i called up and asked her out at her work and she was pretty quick to accept, we went out a few times but nothing ever came of that anyway. The rest all asked me out, or things just sort of progressed. I do get noticed a lot and told i'm attractive all the time, at least one approach whenever i go to a bar. I'm just a scared little wuss. I can dig underdog but please don't tell me i'm a lost cause. I guess it's a confidence thing. The rejection of smiles on the online sites gets me down. honestly the online dating thing is just crap for me i have zeeeero luck but whenever i'm out i seem to have a lot better luck in person. Who knows if i'm picking bad pictures or what. I like the standard reply here, "he's a lucky guy". Can;t really go wrong with that one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JJRadical Posted June 8, 2006 Share Posted June 8, 2006 Your not a lost cause...as a matter of fact you are incredibley normal...those 3 circumstances you describe above all should embolden you...its ok to be alittle nervous when asking out a girl, maybe even alittle preferable because while you think your being uncouth (is that a word) nervousness shows that you are human...When you pick up your glasses don't go in with the expectation of asking her out...you are there to try on your glasses...talk to her a bit...asking out a girl who is working can be a bit tricky...if the store is busy or if her boss is around its probably not a good idea...I would go back a third time when its not too busy to ask her out...and when you do it say something like " Hi Broomhilda. How are you?" "I know of a coffee place that serves great mocha vanilla bull * * * *s, I'm going to go have one later, would you like to join me?" If she says no...it could be she has a boyfriend...it could be she is depressed and doesnt' feel like seeing anybody...but whatever the reason stay humble and polite and walk out calmly...if she says yes , get her phone number and bolt...start keeping a journal of these experiences and see how fast you learn...so even if she shoots you down you made an attempt and are in the game...getting dates is just like hitting in baseball...if you get 3-4 out of 10 and strike out 6-7 times your an all-star... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VladTepes Posted June 9, 2006 Share Posted June 9, 2006 just say "heh oh well, rather know than always ponder" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vert Posted June 9, 2006 Share Posted June 9, 2006 so long as we are clear. Did you really think that was a personal insult, DN? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kyoshiro Ogari Posted June 9, 2006 Share Posted June 9, 2006 This actually has never happened to me when directly asking out a girl on a date but i want to ask out this girl who works at the optomotrist eyeglasses shop assuming the convo goes well (and that she's there) when I go to pick up my glasses. I have no idea if she has a boyfriend but she wears a ton of rings on each hand, one on her ring finger so i fear that she might actually be married! In any case though, how have you guys replied/reacted to "I have a boyfriend" or "I'm married"? I'm not sure what i would say back in that potentially awkward situation? YOU: "Hi, I was wondering if you would like to go out to a movie sometime?" HER: "Oh that's very sweet of you, but I am married/have a boyfriend/gay." YOU: "Great! Bring 'em along. The more the merrier. I am going to invite a few of my buddies along, I figure we should all have a good time!" HER: "That's nice. Hey, are... are you crying?" YOU: "No, I have something stuck in my eye, it's nothing. *sniff* Well, I'm off to pierce my nipples to forget about the pain you've just caused in my heart, have a nice day." HER: "What did you just say?" YOU: "...oh, you heard that..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin T Posted June 9, 2006 Share Posted June 9, 2006 She tells me she has a boyfriend and I'm interested, I would then proceed to act like I'm interested in what she tells me: "Oh, he likes that shirt too? That's GREAT!" Then make sure I never waste my time speaking to her again. lol Seriously. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueWolf Posted June 9, 2006 Share Posted June 9, 2006 If she says she has a boyfriend ... *old/lame joke alert!!!* I'll say: "Then are you ready for a manfriend?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iceman26 Posted June 10, 2006 Share Posted June 10, 2006 If she says she has a boyfriend ... *old/lame joke alert!!!* I'll say: "Then are you ready for a manfriend?" Thanks for that. I laughed out loud in my office after reading that. People looked at me strangely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
charley Posted June 11, 2006 Share Posted June 11, 2006 If she fits it into a conversation where you did NOT ask her out, then pretend you didn't hear her. Wrap up conversation and leave as soon as convenient. Still be friendly when you see her in future, but no more flirting or asking out. No more long conversations. If you did ask her out and she tells you about b-friend or married, then say, "Sorry. I didn't know". Then act casual. Still be friendly when you see her in future, but no more flirting or asking out. No more long conversations. If you want to be cool, then say, "He's a lucky man." That's a classic oldy dating to the 1940s or before. Then be cool and unruffled. It's no big deal. It's not a rejection of you, so don't take it that way. No reason for you to feel bad or embarrassed. Though I admit I feel embarrassed too when this happens. It happens. Part of life. Normally I'd say look for a ring, but when they wear a million? How about resorting to the favorite olde that our grandfathers used successfully? It's so old it's new again. It goes like this... You: Are you married? Her: No. You: Do you have a boyfriend? Her: Yes. You: He's a lucky man. Alternative Outcome You: Are you married? Her: No. You: Do you have a boyfriend? Her: No. You: You do now! That worked dandy in the 20s, 30s, 40s, and 50s and should work dandy now. My grandpa met my grandma that way. It's so old that it'd be new to young ladies today. I don't think modern ladies have heard it. Have you gals heard it before? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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