Am I in a good position?

[Mix Maxster]

Hey everyone,

 

I'm trying to figure out some things when it comes to dating. Everything is pretty new to me it seems and yet the anxiety I used to face before isn't there so much anymore.

 

There's this one girl I am particularly liking at the moment and although I don't usually like being attached right away, I feel that she's attracte to me but I honestly don't have any idea. She's got a cool personality, she's good looking and we can tease each other pretty good. Now I'm just not sure where I stand, for all I know I can be just one of those "friends" girls talk about. You know, the one they'll include in hanging out with friends or the kind they'll go shopping with, but the one they're not attracted to or would even date.

 

To end this quickly, I'm still trying to figure out if she's attracted to me, but its not like I want to push for anything or be a chump and ask her. I'm trying to be trustable and friendly the best way I know how, by being honest and myself. I feel like she likes me, but I could be wrong and she's just like that with anyone. For all I know, she finds me completely unattractive and would laugh if I asked her, but I think its too soon to be pushing for that sort of an answer and that's why I'd appreciate feedback on this.

 

I feel like something could progress here, but I'm really not sure. Any ideas?

[LostInMyThoughts]

Ask her out.

 

You've already been talking to her, so it's not "too soon."

 

Unless you just met today; it's probably okay to ask her out.

 

If she laughs at you, that just means shes immature and not worth your time or your friendship.

 

I know it's easy for me to tell you this, but I take my own advice. I take risks and leave myself vunerable to rejection by asking out girls (except in the case of a coworker--that you have to play it cool).

[Mix Maxster]

Dates and "going out" is dumb because I feel it puts too much pressure on the situation. Instead of focusing on going out to have a good time and enjoying each others company, there's got to be that air of judgement that makes one wonder if "things are going well" or not.

 

Already I feel that she likes me and because of the circumstances I DO need to approach this carefully and patiently. Thankfully I am this way with all girls now and how I'm approaching this is exactly how I'd approach any other girl. The biggest thing right now is trust and not making her vulnerable in the way she will choose to pull out of if she feels pressured.

 

I guess in my view I see it as, well if we both like each other then why not? Unfortunately its not that simple and I know this already, if I come on too strong I know she'll get the wrong impression and want to "run" away before seeing where it could go. I also don't want her to cheat herself out of something that could be great just because she's scared to.

 

See what I'm saying now?

[LostInMyThoughts]

No, you're not making much sense. You're trying to play it safe; that rarely works in dating, and in the life.

 

The only pressure in dating and going out is the pressure you put on yourself.

 

You don't have to have something elaborate for a first date. It could be something as low-key as meeting for coffee, or a lunch-date.

 

I know you're saying you don't want to push her away, but in reality you're trying to protect yourself from rejection. It's understandable, no likes being rejected. Trust me though, if you don't ask her out, someone else in this exact situation will.

[Mix Maxster]

hey man,

 

I really appreciate your comments dude as I wonder about those things you mentioned. See in my experience I would normally just jump on this and start going on a bit stronger. I wasn't sure if I would be too pushy if I began to try jumping in there. I mean she just got out of a 2 and a half year relationship with a guy she was in love with, I would like to think I would be able to snag this girl, but I'm being more careful than I normally would because she's in a fragile state.

 

Perhaps I am playing it safe and am afraid of rejection? I didn't think I was, but I also could be hiding that from myself. Thanks again and let me know why you think that it wouldn't be as big as a deal as I think it is, oddly enough there's another side of it that wants to believe I don't have to worry about this crap.

[LostInMyThoughts]

Okay, now that you mentioend she just got out of a serious relationship, playing it safe makes sense.

 

Lets go back to square one here.

 

How long ago was it that she broke up with her ex?

[JimmerJammer]

i'm kinda wondering cuz i've been going through the same thing. mine was about a month ago.