First Date Idears

[LostInMyThoughts]

Normally on a first date, I like to check out Dinner, and a Movie.

 

Dinner is nice, because you can impress someone with your manners (or lack there of).

 

Movie's are fun, because you get something fresh to talk about after the movie.

 

But, dinner and a movie is like so unimanginative.

 

I'd like to go out and try something different, under a few constraints:

 

1) The weather is trash right now, so outdoor adventures probably not a good idea.

2) I want to dress up, cuz well dressing sharp always leave a good impression.

3) It'll have to occur later in the day, so I have time to get a brazillian wax, and a haircut.

 

---

 

Here are a few ideas I had:

Seeing a baseball game. Baseball is boring for non-baseball fans, but its a guarenteed 2-3 hour commitment

 

Catching Dinner and going Roller Skating, or Ice-Skating. Skating is fun.

 

Dinner, then going bowling. Bowling is lame and fun at the same time.

 

Dinner, then a musical, or art gallery. Seems pretensious.

 

Dinner, then a concert?

 

 

 

Anyway I'd appreciate any feedback or suggestions.

 

Thanks yall.

 

Edit: As an aside, should I ask her for input, or is it better if I decide and just let her know whats going on. I don't wanna come accross as a milk-toast, but don't want to seem controlling.

[sir sirloin]

I don't like movies during a first date because you can't talk to her. In fact I try to stick with JUST dinner for first date. That way if it sucks at least it is short. Then, if she gets a second date, go with the more interesting stuff like ice skating.

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

Hmm.

 

I went to the zoo with my boyfriend lately. He was more excited than was dignified for a 21 year old, to be honest.

[LostInMyThoughts]

Hmm.

 

I went to the zoo with my boyfriend lately. He was more excited than was dignified for a 21 year old, to be honest.

 

Negative.

 

I'm an old codger and I LOVE the zoo!

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

The zoo would be a fun date. Anything that could involve interacting, moving around from place to place, seeing new things....

[ShroomzGod]

I always ask a girl out for coffee for The First Date. It's cheap and fun. This way you can get to know them and on top of that it's open and very public. I've always had some degree of sucess at the coffee shop. by the way I never order coffee I always get tea. Most of the time they never have it before and it makes you seem different. If you have sucess w/ coffee dinner and a movie is next. You won't get to know someone at the movies especially if that is all you talk abut afterward. (Oh, the zoo is pretty cool too, I have one right down the street so I'll keep that in mind.)

[ves]

Is there a place like Dave and Busters in your area? If she seems like a fun girl, you could take her there after dinner.

 

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[Luke Skywalker]

I always ask a girl out for coffee for The First Date. It's cheap and fun. This way you can get to know them and on top of that it's open and very public. I've always had some degree of sucess at the coffee shop. by the way I never order coffee I always get tea. Most of the time they never have it before and it makes you seem different. If you have sucess w/ coffee dinner and a movie is next. You won't get to know someone at the movies especially if that is all you talk abut afterward. (Oh, the zoo is pretty cool too, I have one right down the street so I'll keep that in mind.)

 

This is an interesting take. A movie and dinner date may be fine, but ensure you go for dinner first before going to see a movie. I like the sound of that. I'm thinking of a first date for tomorrow with someone i'm meeting off the net.

 

However, I'm not sure if 'too public' is a good idea for dinner. Having dinner at a mall's food court is a bad idea for a first date, it has to be a bit classy, like a hotel, casey's bar and grill, or some place with a bit of ambience.

 

I'm working on brainstorming my first date with someone tomorrow, and thinking on the lines of reserving a restaurant or something. Sure, all restaurants serve tea or coffee.

 

I have an intuitive sense as to whether I will like a girl and if the date will go fine, so I dont need any coffee props or shifters for that since I believe I'm always right on matters like this. It's only a matter of making my prospective date comfortable. Just one thing, she may want to see the Divinci code, while I do not - but since she likes action films, I'm sure we could find a compromise.

[Budman]

Quite honestly, unless you are a conversationalist, and able to bring out a convo in anyone! I don't recommend coffee/din dates.

 

Best one are activity dates in my opinion. Art Museums, Zoo's, something where you will walk together is great!

 

reason is that gives you something to talk about while staying near each other. (heck I will ask them to hold my hand/stroll with me)

[ShroomzGod]

Quite honestly, unless you are a conversationalist, and able to bring out a convo in anyone! I don't recommend coffee/din dates.

 

Best one are activity dates in my opinion. Art Museums, Zoo's, something where you will walk together is great!

 

reason is that gives you something to talk about while staying near each other. (heck I will ask them to hold my hand/stroll with me)

 

I do very well bringing out conversation in people so I take them to a nice coffee shop. Like I stated earlier it's cheap. Not that I'm cheap or anything but why waste near $50 on something that might pan out.

[Budman]

I do very well bringing out conversation in people so I take them to a nice coffee shop. Like I stated earlier it's cheap. Not that I'm cheap or anything but why waste near $50 on something that might pan out.

Then awesome! I'm just saying in general honestly, takes a conversationalist which you are so Rock on!

 

(some of my best dates were coffee dates)

[Dating Coach]

1. The date. Do something that has low cost and low entertainment value. For example, meeting at a Starbucks for a coffee or an upscale and quiet bar for a drink is a great idea because it allows the two of you to sit and talk to each other. In addition, it should not cost you a lot. If you were to date ten women and took each one for a drink, that would potentially cost you $10 a date. However, if you took those ten dates to dinner and a movie, at a cost of $50 each, that's a lot more. From the perspective of cost, the whole point is not to buy random women meals but to get to know her. So money should not be a factor in first dates. In addition, if you avoid venues like movies and concerts, etc., you can be assured that you have not met a woman who is just going out with you because her other boyfriend (who she "forgot" to mention) is out of town and she is bored. Finally, if you do go someplace with low entertainment value (i.e., not a sports bar with 42 TV's) she and you will not be distracted. Instead, you can sit and talk to each other and get to know who likes what, etc.

Now if the date goes bad, you are also not locked into a big meal and have not wasted $22 on two movie tickets. Or whatever those ridiculous costs are at the movie theater!!! You're really only out the $5 for her drink, as you consumed yours.

If you do go to a bar, be SURE not to (1) get drunk (2) order shots.

2. Check her out - CAREFULLY. When your date arrives, you should make a note of how she presents herself. Don't be obvious, but get a basic idea. This will be an indicator of her interest level in you which is very important. Plain and simple, if she shows up in sweatpants, a t-shirt, and her hair back in a ponytail and has no makeup on, you can bet she's not interested in impressing you. I would say this means your date should be the one drink but you may want to consider nothing else. You'll probably quickly gather from the conversation that she's not interested anyway.

However, if she shows up with a clean outfit, nicely done hair and makeup, nice shoes, nails done, and otherwise looking great you can bet that she spent an hour or more getting ready. The only reason why she would do that would be to impress and attract you. That is a very good sign. So, for example, if she walks in and everyone stops and looks, that's a good thing.

Very important: While you should compliment her, you should compliemnt her EFFORT and not her existence. So a good compliment would be "You look very nice tonight." A bad compliment would be "You're the most beautiful woman I have ever seen and you look hot." I would also recommend that you give her only one compliment for the entire date. Don't be a "Yes man" like you see on TV. Keep it real. Just relax. She heard you and you don't need to repeat yourself.

You should, of course, also be dressed nicely but in your own style that makes you feel comfortable. Nice shoes are a must, as is a LITTLE cologne (she should only be able to smell it if she hugs you, not from 3 feet away), and - of course - be SURE your breath is nice. Brush your teeth AND your tongue (or get a tongue scraper.) I cannot emphasize how important this is as, regretfully, I had bad breath on my first date and did not know. Believe it or not, she told me that was my only flaw and she could live with it, so you may get lucky but don't risk it!

3. Topic of conversation. First, you need to learn that just about everything to do with your car, computer, job, religion, political views, and other stuff that is boring or controversial should be *strictly* off limits at this point. Your goal is to not bore her to death! You should also focus on positive, fun, and entertaining topics. So no blood and guts, no talk about Saddam Hussein unless you're talking about the Southpark movie and she brought it up and loves it, no guns, no crime, no zex jokes or crimes, stuff like that. Do NOT talk like a creep. Do NOT talk about ex GF's or BF's, no blatent zex jokes, and other offensive topics.

You have to remember one thing: You are here to get to know HER. Now I know a lot of guys say "Oh, I'd be so happy if ANY woman liked me and I would do anything to date so-and-so" but that is a crazy concept. Women are not all perfect - they are human, just like you or I. They do crazy things just like us. They may do things that are downright offensive. Your job is to find out on a high level if she is SANE. You do this by asking her lots of questions, and then getting her to expand on them. Such as "So, have you lived around here long? Really? Where did you live before that? What was your favorite part of living there?" Etc. If she starts to let you know that she's a drug user who goes to clubs and takes a different guy home every week... well, I would not want to date a woman like that. In the end, you want to talk away knowing 100x as much about her as she does you.

4. Don't act like a creep. This means that you look her in the eyes. You do NOT look at her body, nor do you comment on it. You do NOT look at other women, nor do you flirt with them. You do not blow smoke in her face. You do not TOUCH her until after you have kissed her (later). You need to act like a gentleman, being polite and mature. Open doors for her. Be kind. If you get a drink that is made wrong, send it back and get it fixed. If someone is rude to you, move to another seat.

If you get into a fight at the bar, I can just about guarantee your relationship with her will be short lived. The same goes for driving like a maniac, blasting the music in the car which she hates, or spitting on the ground. Being rude is also a deal breaker, so shape up and behave like an adult!

5. Find out if she likes you. The most important thing is to determine if she has an interest level in YOU. Does she ask you personal questions? Like what your name is, how old you are, where you live, if you are single, if you are employed, if you like children or small animals, etc. Does she look you in the eye as well? Does she sit/stand close to you, facing you? Or does she lean back, stay back, with her arms crossed? Is she talking to other guys (note: end the date there)? Is she flirting with you ... or the bartender? The simple reality is that she should be doing things to make you like her, and if she doesn't then she probably doesn't care, and that means she is using you for a free drink.

6. Flirt. Joke. Have fun. Never be serious. Be confident in a funny way. That means that you need to lighten up and be yourself, but at the same time avoid serious topics. If she asks how old you are, make her guess. If she asks what you do for a living, avoid the cliche "If I tell you I'd have to kill you" but instead say that you do something that is as outrageous as you think you can get away with. Then see if she "catches" you. If she doesn't wait a minute or two and let her know. For example, I may tell her that I'm a lumberjack. Of course, I'm not a muscle man, so any woman with half a brain should say "Bull!" and then we can have a good laugh. I generally don't talk about work too much, though, other than to say I am a manager at such-and-such government agency and it's a good job. Any more details are boring.

7. End the date. At the end of the date, you should understand that the one thing she expects is for you to try and kiss her. (Not necessarily wanting you to, but expects it) This requires you to walk her to her door and then, when the two of you stop talking, all you have to do is lean in very slowly and then stop a little way from her face. If she leans into you as well, there is your kiss. I'd recommend a dry, gentle, on the lips kiss. No tongue. At this point you STILL should not have touched her all night, but instead watched to see if she touched you (which signals interest level) but now you may want to gently put a hand around her back or neck. For only a few seconds. You'll, of course, have to play that by ear, I cannot advise you on that!

8. Set up another date. And the end of the date, if things went well, be sure to let her know that you would like to go on another date but will call her. Don't tell her when and where yet, because I doubt you've planned it yet. This will give you some time to think what to do next. Anyway, I would recommend waiting 1-3 days to call her again and set up another date.

9. Finally, I would *strongly* reccommend avoiding email and phone for long conversations. They do not lend themselves well to romantic situations, so instead you should use them as they are intended - for short exchanges and to set up times to go on another date.

[Kenobe]

I think a movie is one of the WORST places you can go on a first date; there's no interaction or conversation; just staring at a screen. Better to discover what her interests are and go from there. Art? A do-it-yourself pottery place. Music? A concert or live music venue is always good. A free jazz concert in a park? Better yet. Go for unique and if possible, more than just one or two places. The more, the better. Movement and change of scenery will do wonders. Good luck!

[Siriana]

I liked that advice of diggity dogg.

 

The only thing I would like to add is about the way she's dressed: it is important that she looks nice, clean, as a sign of respect - if she looks like she came from jogging that's a bad sign. But, don't make conclusions about her based on make up or fancy clothes.

For example:

For that first date I always try to avoid looking like I spent too much time in front of a mirror. I spend at least an hour, but I don't want that to be obvious. Meaning: mine hair is shiny and clean but I don't wear some complicated hairstyle, I have make up, but if you don't know much about make up than you will be thinking that I have maybe only shin gloss. About close - I never wear high heals on my first date, and I always dress casual in a nice way - I avoid skirts, dresses ... I wear nail polish but very neutral one...I am careful about my perfume-it has to be simple.

 

I mean - if you're not experienced enough or you don't have a flair for detail you might be thinking that I haven't done much effort.

 

 

Dates in cinema are bad idea. It is best to go somewhere for a drink. And the trick is to choose a place that isn't to loud and where you have some background music that is more like chill out. Than it is great idea that there is some low light there - that gives intimate atmosphere, not neon light like in mc donalds. And not something too fancy or like really in in that moment. It pays off to find some places that are good but not mainstream.