dazzednconfused Posted June 1, 2006 Share Posted June 1, 2006 Well here is the story line, My girlfriend and i been dating for a year and 3 months now. We were drinking at her apt and she asked to see a pic of my x gf on myspace, so i did, i showed her like a fool because i didnt think she had a myspace because she was never a computer person. (Let me remind you i have the worlds biggest most jealous gf ever!) So to get back at me after seeing her pic she says, well you know the day before you asked me to be your gf, i slept with my x bf.( i was calling her all night because i knew something was up, she was ignoring my calls all night. At that point i knew i was dead crazy for her because i couldnt sleep for nothing. Like a dumb person i took her flowers to her graduation). So i wasl like ok ya what else. Then she tells me she went out to dinner with him for his bday. I was furious at this point, because if anyone can get her back, its this guy. She was kookoo over him. No matter what he did to her she always took him back like a fool. I got her to tell me what happened on that "date" and they had a F-session. i stormed off after that. She tell me she did it because she needed to be loved,what is that crap? Ever since then i am having the hardest time getting over the fact that she did such a thing 8 months into our relationship and tell me 8 months later. She told me the end of april, last month and slept with him in october. She is awesome girl and treats me great but i can not trust her. She expects me to get over it so quickly, to this day i am hurt, ashamed, embarrased to even hold her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tylercdurden2004 Posted June 1, 2006 Share Posted June 1, 2006 WOW dude. I can go into great detail why you shouldnt be with her but you know what its really just as simple as saying drop her like a hot potato. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dazzednconfused Posted June 1, 2006 Author Share Posted June 1, 2006 Word, i know i am so confused. She is a awesome girl but so what i know. Idunno. The crappy part is she is the best liar cuz she remembers her lies "if" she would to lie. I just flat out suck and get caught everytime with her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kellbell Posted June 1, 2006 Share Posted June 1, 2006 "She is awesome girl and treats me great but i can not trust her." I am sorry but you are fooling yourself by saying this. She is NOT a great girl. No awesome girl would EVER cheat. She CHEATED on you! She disrespected and betrayed you. IMO, you need to get her out of your life for good. She only cares about herself and her actions were purely selfish knowing that this would hurt you. I am so sorry this happened to you. You deserve much better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Süsser Tod Posted June 1, 2006 Share Posted June 1, 2006 OK, so she slept with him one day before being your girlfriend, and did it again 8 months into your relationship? Drop her, you were only her safety blanket or a "worse is nothing", so... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DN Posted June 1, 2006 Share Posted June 1, 2006 "She is awesome girl and treats me great but i can not trust her." I am sorry but you are fooling yourself by saying this. She is NOT a great girl. No awesome girl would EVER cheat. She CHEATED on you! She disrespected and betrayed you. IMO, you need to get her out of your life for good. She only cares about herself and her actions were purely selfish knowing that this would hurt you. I am so sorry this happened to you. You deserve much better. Word for word what I was thinking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dazzednconfused Posted June 1, 2006 Author Share Posted June 1, 2006 saftey blanket yes, that is what i was telling her this whole time. She was still dating the guy when we got together, they were together for 4 years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Süsser Tod Posted June 1, 2006 Share Posted June 1, 2006 Well, get the hell out of there. Everybody deserves to love an be loved in return, why are you going to settle with someone you love, but that doesnt' love you in return? Sooner or later, when she finds someone else, she is going to dump you, are you seriously looking forward to that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kellbell Posted June 1, 2006 Share Posted June 1, 2006 You deserve more than to be anyone's safety blanket. Dump her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dazzednconfused Posted June 1, 2006 Author Share Posted June 1, 2006 OK, so she slept with him one day before being your girlfriend, and did it again 8 months into your relationship? Drop her, you were only her safety blanket or a "worse is nothing", so... ya, well we are not on talking terms right now. She is pissed that i feel this way and that i don treat her good. I am just tired of her now. Thanks i just wanted to throw my story out there and see what everyone thought. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kellbell Posted June 1, 2006 Share Posted June 1, 2006 She can be ticked all she wants, the bottom line is CHEATED on you and there is no excuse for it...none whatsoever. She is pouting because she did not get her way. She'll get over it, she is self-centered enough to do so. You deserve better...an awesome gal whom will never concieve cheating you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dazzednconfused Posted June 1, 2006 Author Share Posted June 1, 2006 She is actually a member on this forum, that is how i found out about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ocrob Posted June 2, 2006 Share Posted June 2, 2006 I was about to agree with everyone else and still do, but I am curious. You said you found out from her being on this forum? How did you know where to look and what to read? What were her posts like? Was she the monster that she sounds like or was she saying how unloved she felt? I am not sticking of for this chick at all. If she is a B, then you need to just stop talking to her. She sounds like one, but I am wondering if there is more to it? I don't think it is ok for anyone to cheat and we all make excuses for the women we love. I am just wondering if she is a total F'n B or just some confused woman who made some really bad choices and needs to prove herself before you will be with her again. Just thinking out loud. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kellbell Posted June 2, 2006 Share Posted June 2, 2006 Does she know you are posting here? I apologize for sounding stupid but are you absolutely certain it was her posting here? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dazzednconfused Posted June 2, 2006 Author Share Posted June 2, 2006 Does she know you are posting here? I apologize for sounding stupid but are you absolutely certain it was her posting here? no she does not know i am posting here, yes i am positive it was her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarnelianButterfly Posted June 2, 2006 Share Posted June 2, 2006 She's not worth it, drop her and find someone who will treat you better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dazzednconfused Posted June 2, 2006 Author Share Posted June 2, 2006 She told me about this forum a while back . Her post are just complaining about her past relationship and our current one. Unloved yes. Dont sweat the post, its all good thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GottaLetItBurn Posted June 2, 2006 Share Posted June 2, 2006 Dude, dump her dump her dump her dump her. No ther choice, she needs to be put in her place. She is a weirdo, you can tell by her goofy * * * excuse "I need to be loved". SHe is trash, that is a bull * * * * statement, and she has a lot of problems if she gives her body up. This girl was not hugged enough by her parents obviosily. Awsome girl????? Hahahhahahaha, that's funny, really..that's a cute statement if your being sarcastic. SHe through it all away, now she needs to pay. Dump her please, it's whats best for you, believe everyone on her. SHe is no good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heyguys Posted June 2, 2006 Share Posted June 2, 2006 wow, now isnt this ironic?! so yes i am THE GIRLFRIEND WHO CHEATED and im sure some of you are familiar with the turmoils i have encountered in the past years. i find it interesting my current boyfriend cared enough to post on this website, and it is very shocking but comforting. if you care enough to get some background on his initial post, you can read my last few threads i have posted and it will fill in any blanks and questions! i am NOT the monster you may have percieved, and I am not quite sure he meant to show me as one he just didnt really correct you guys on your asusmptions about being the caring and loving girlfriend, friend...that i truley am. i love him very much and i have loved him for quite sometime, which is why i confessed what i did 8 months ago. i have too much love and respect for him now to keep it from him now. yes i know he said i cheated to "feel loved" which sounded very bad, but if u read my posts u will see what he "meant" anyway this is getting long and i will let you guys focus on him and the support he needs right now. nothing i say helps him get over this. maybe you can help Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lonelyinasmalltown Posted June 2, 2006 Share Posted June 2, 2006 I remembering answering to heyguys' thread. My advice is still the same. Heyguys, you need to understand, you cheated on him. If he's upset with you, you need to understand that and be patient. He's not the one who screwed up, you are. Being angry because he can't get over it right away (it's only been a month, it can take years, trust me, I've been cheated on), then you can't put pressure on him to forgive and forget. Dazed, you have to realize, from what her thread told us she really does love you and does regret her mistake. Take what you will from that. Yes, she hurt you in the worst way a person can hurt another person, but despite everything, she's still there, with YOU. The real question is, can you ever really forgive her? If the answer is no, then you do have your answer on what you need to do. It's interesting to see both sides of the story, something that doesn't really happen too much on eNotAlone. I have to say that I can sense that you both care a great deal about each other otherwise why would you both have stayed together this long after she confessed about her infidelity? I'm of the school of thought that there is nothing that can't be worked out if there are 2 willing parties who are willing to work it out. Personally, I hope you both do work it out. She made a mistake, yes. But she was honest with you in the end. I have to admire that, most people NEVER confess their infidelity. That coupled with the fact that you are both seeking help to figure out what to do, I think that forgiveness might be possible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kellbell Posted June 2, 2006 Share Posted June 2, 2006 Hi there heyguys, I remember your post but I did not respond to it though. I still am having a hard time with the cheating part and expecting him to be okay with it like nothing happened because you feel bad about doing it. I am sure you are sorry about it but at the same time, you need to try to put the "shoe on the other foot" so to speak. To me, cheating is inexcuseable. The trust is broken. It is interesting to see both sides of the story as lonelyinasmalltown pointed out. I do believe infedility can be overcome but it takes a great deal of work from both sides to do so. Best of luck to the both of you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Süsser Tod Posted June 2, 2006 Share Posted June 2, 2006 Live and learn, you screwed up. Let him go. As for dazzednconfused, let her go. I can't see any future there unless both have a very strong commitment towards making it work, standing up to the future trust issues, etc. However, I'm of the train of thought "once a cheater, always a cheater", so I would run away and never look back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heyguys Posted June 2, 2006 Share Posted June 2, 2006 i never said he had to be over it by now, nor do i expect that. the only thing i ask is that he TRY to move forward and still maintain respect for me as i am trying to do. i understand he wants to lash out at me but if thats the case i told him to move on if he will forever be miserable with me. i love him but i nor him deserve to be miserable for the rest of our lives. i want him to forgive me and for us to move forward and the only way for that to happen is if we start fresh and new and maintain respect for eachother now....if not it will never work. i am just really tired lately because he is on an emotional roller coaster. and in most cases i would understand him feeling all these emotions but i told him that i have no feelings for my ex, it was a one time mistake. i want my bf that i have now. i have no doubt in my mind he is the one for me. when i made that mistake 8 months ago, i maybe wasnt so sure, but i am sure and i have been sure for the past 8 months and i just want to move forward. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DN Posted June 2, 2006 Share Posted June 2, 2006 Have you guys tried couples counselling? Perhaps you need someone to help you get this relationship back on track. Sometimes a mediator can help you do that by getting you to focus on the real problems rather than distracting side issues. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dazzednconfused Posted June 3, 2006 Author Share Posted June 3, 2006 Ok, well here is my plan... The purpose of this thread was just to get some views on my situation, but deep down inside i know what i want. I know she is sorry and most of you do not know how she is or what kind of person she is, but she is great. What she was thinking, i have no clue? but whatever i have decided to give her one last chance and one last slip is it!, Even petty ish i will not tolerate. Thanks board for your views and inputs, but i aint no fool no need to worry about me, thanks for looking out!!! p.s. i do not completely trust her yet but that will take ALONG time to trust her again. She did screw up big time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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