Shyness is killing me

[shadowcat]

I guess i been living like this since i was 14, i went through alot in those times, i was quite alone in school, no one really liked me...i had 2 or 3 friends but they werent real friends, they hung out wit the the popular people..well anyhow once i got jumped by like 10 people..which really left a mark on me..cuz i felt hated, i finally decided no one was goin to touch me no more, i made death threats in high school, got into fights, and i wanted to join a gang to feel like a somebody and part of something..so i figured if i cant have friends might as well have fake friends ie(gang members)...i started hangin with wrong people who got me in trouble with the law...this only made things more hard for me and it wasnt helping much with my social life...i wanted to die and felt anwanted, now im 21 and i still feel the same way, it gets in the way of everything, dating, making friends, school( yes i dropped out) and other things...what really bothers me is i cant really go up to a girl and make conversation, ive had girlfriends in the past...but jus cuz they came up to me first, but i guess that was jus luck becuz now no1 really has interest in me, i feel under pressure in public, i dont know what it is, like im carrying a rock on my head and evryone is staring..waiting for me to make a wrong move so they can laugh at me or gimme dirty looks...i dunno maybe its truama from the past situations in school.

[Alabama]

Having a tough childhood really can affect you. It's important that if you want to make your future better, than to not let the past affect your decisions later in life. Do more social activities, read books to improve yourself in social situations and try to learn and observe from others on the "right" way of doing things in social situations. It's important remember that you are a unique individual just like everybody else. You are not alone this and with improvement in yourself, you will be amazed at the friends that you can make.

[shadowcat]

yes i know this, i try to forget about the past..but sometimes i get flashbacks, for example when i get embarrassed in public or something, right away a bad flashback comes to my head immediately and it gets to me..plus all the rejection that ive goten makes me not wana go up to anyone

[Alabama]

I've tried to put past mistakes too in the back of my mind. I can understand that can come back to haunt you, but I've come to realize that the only way they'll stop haunting you is in the face of success. That can always help. Try to find different ways to improve yourself, and perhaps in time it'll help you succeed.