Miss M Posted May 30, 2006 Share Posted May 30, 2006 And oh yes, I also kiss girls on the cheeks. It may seem strange, but I've had no complaints so far, just some very lovely smiles. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheRedQueen Posted May 30, 2006 Share Posted May 30, 2006 I agree whole heartedly, though your stance might be perceived as being somewhat defensive and reactionary, (I know this cause I'm right there with you on this epiphany), I still feel like it is a positive step in the process of regaining self confidence after being in an abusive relationship. anyway, great for you and best of luck!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nottoogreen Posted May 30, 2006 Share Posted May 30, 2006 makes life easier! OK, wanna be sexist too In the old days, man liked girl, he talked to her parents and handed over a few buffalos, pigs, a bit of gold and he got the girl. Then he used her body (female orgasm were dirty after all, so she never had one all her life), made half a dozen or so babies and made her work like a buffalo. Neat? (dons asbestos suit) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DN Posted May 30, 2006 Share Posted May 30, 2006 Older does not necessarily mean wiser if one doesn't learn from experience. And learning from experience can be done at any age. If someone wants a committed, and happy long-term relationship it is a good idea to profit from the advice of people who have 'been there, done that', or who have learned from their mistakes. It is also a good idea to examine the things that you have done yourself to see if you bear any of the responsibility for your relationships going pear-shaped instead of just blaming a succession of partners or potential partners. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hope75 Posted May 30, 2006 Share Posted May 30, 2006 Well said, DN. Another thing about the Golden rule.... you also need to apply love and respect to your own self, because if that is the case than when you are tangled in an abusive relationship, you will value yourself enough to get out. It may take time and be tremendously hard, but it can be done. And I speak from personal experience, having nearly been murdered by my ex fiance who abused me for 5 years, before anyone tries to refute that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daddy Bear Posted May 30, 2006 Share Posted May 30, 2006 when i put my hands on my hips, that seems to work well for me. and when that doesn't work, i usually put my arms up for a hug and kiss. now that seems to always work.that is SO cute! i wish my exes would have thought of doing that. or maybe i should have, huh? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daddy Bear Posted May 30, 2006 Share Posted May 30, 2006 Another thing about the Golden rule.... you also need to apply love and respect to your own self, because if that is the case than when you are tangled in an abusive relationship, you will value yourself enough to get out. It may take time and be tremendously hard, but it can be done. RIGHT! that is an implicit part of the universal application that makes the rule work. always, always treat yourself as well as you treat others. a gold star to Hope75. * Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spawn Posted May 30, 2006 Share Posted May 30, 2006 does anyone agree with this advice? from my short and limited dating experience. (was in stupid abusive relationship for the longest time) i have learned that the guy has to prove himself. if he's really interested, he'll call me. if he's really sincere, he wont make excuses. if he really cares, he'll ask to see me in advance. if he really wants to, he'll find a way. if he really was for real, he'll contact me. if he wants me, he'll make the time. all i have to do is sit back and say, yes or no, if im interested or not. otherwise, i move on. i know girls like to be chased but in my opinion with that kinda thinking/attitude you might loose some really good guys just cause you want them to prove somethin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tylercdurden2004 Posted May 30, 2006 Share Posted May 30, 2006 and the last time i looked, there were several Communist countries alive and well... Ah you mean the elite in these countries! Well hey Chairman Mao didnt starve millions for nothing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daddy Bear Posted May 30, 2006 Share Posted May 30, 2006 It is the well known *pout* manuever, bentie...well, maneuver it onto me, because i like it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teacup Posted May 31, 2006 Author Share Posted May 31, 2006 i think "damn gurl, u do that better than me. ur really going to light his fire. g'luck." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Budman Posted May 31, 2006 Share Posted May 31, 2006 There were hugs without me come on, I didn't get the memo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss M Posted May 31, 2006 Share Posted May 31, 2006 There were hugs without me come on, I didn't get the memo Don't worry, luv... I made sure to save yours tucked away in an extra special place. In the meantime, I'll be practicing this headtiltinghandsonhipspoutything that monkeylove and teacup seem to have worked out. Ya see, the younger women really can teach an old lady a few things. \\ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eleanorrigby1 Posted May 31, 2006 Share Posted May 31, 2006 Im really old fashioned and I believe that its the man job to ask and the womans to either refuse or accept. If a man really likes you he will call and ask you out. Men like a challenge. If that sounds sexist then I guess I'm sexist! I own it, but will not apologise for it, it is after all my opinion and I am entitled to it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AwdreeHpburn Posted May 31, 2006 Share Posted May 31, 2006 true, everyone is entitled to be sexist, racist, homophobic.... I mean those opinions usually don't spread or infect socities or anything so it's OK to be sexist... ...as long as it's not against a strong woman who will fight for her equal rights or against black people who will rise up collectively and fight for equality. I mean, if you're only sexist against men and are just clinging to old fashioned ideals that only hurt a few....million people.....OWN IT GIRL and I saracastically agree!!, make NO apologies! And besides liking a challenge, men also like being discriminated against and bashed, so...let's have at it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eleanorrigby1 Posted May 31, 2006 Share Posted May 31, 2006 Taking it a tad too far me thinks comparing whether a man should ask a woman out to apartheid and the feminist uprise! I really hope my post didnt make you go and burn your bra! I was joking about the sexist must be my sense of humour! my mother always told me it would get me into trouble one of these days. I didnt think I was bashing any men saying I liked them to make the first move? Opinions are allowed, Free speach and all, I dont condone people who do cruel things in the name of it that no longer is an opinion is it? being bashed for being honest isnt very nice. I was owning my opinion and not stating it as fact like some people do. Wasnt saying it was law, or right, just what I think. My boyfriend wholeheartedly agrees and admits to being old fashioned his self. Im not a total mug and and am an independent woman myself, I live alone, I have a career, I am assertive but I am not offended when my boyfriend admits to being old fashioned and he is a little sexist sometimes, I call him out on it, but its the way he has been brought him, his mother does everything for him. Its the female role. We try to break them but unfortunately gender roles stick around and not everyone is offended and hurt by them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AwdreeHpburn Posted May 31, 2006 Share Posted May 31, 2006 perferring to not be the asserter in a relationship is one thing. Demanding it based on sex is another. Calling it "old fashioned" seems like a cop out or an allowance for sexism. Call it what it is. If it's merely that you prefer the other person to make the first move, say that. Why does it have to be a men vs women issue? Some men like women to make the first move as well. They're NOT old fashioned, they're progressive, right? Cuz old fashioned means the man is the aggressor. Right? My only point is that using those terms like "old fashioned" or "it's their role" "men should" TO ME is dangerous and is sort of like wide-spreading ignorance. If it's YOUR opinion that the person you're with make the first move, that's fine! Of course, that's what's right for you. Does that mean your opinion is that MEN SHOULD MAKE THE FIRST MOVE? I'm not getting at you solely elean - just the concept. I don't think you mean that it's the old role definition we should stick to, and that it is a men and women issue. I think you just mean its what you prefer. That doesn't make you're sexist, unless you make it about gender. That's ALL my point was. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DN Posted May 31, 2006 Share Posted May 31, 2006 My only point is that using those terms like "old fashioned" or "it's their role" "men should" TO ME is dangerous agreed - and the biggest danger is that there can be a whole lot of lonely people as a result who spend years looking at people in happy relationships who had the courage to go for what they want. Then they turn back to contemplate their lonely single life and, as they prepare the next in a succession of meals for one, they wonder "what if I had .... " but then they give their heads a shake and banish that uncomfortable thought and replace it with "It's all men's fault for not approaching me." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scout Posted May 31, 2006 Share Posted May 31, 2006 Then they turn back to contemplate their lonely single life and, as they prepare the next in a succession of meals for one, they wonder "what if I had .... " but then they give their heads a shake and banish that uncomfortable thought and replace it with "It's all men's fault for not approaching me." Ahem...or, "It's all women's fault for only liking jerks who treat them like crap!" Just keeping this gender-balanced, DN... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DN Posted May 31, 2006 Share Posted May 31, 2006 Ahem...or, "It's all women's fault for only liking jerks who treat them like crap!" Just keeping this gender-balanced, DN... I absolutely agree - but that is not what this particular thread was about. Please don't start another 'nice guy vs jerk debate - I haven't got over the last three hundred of those yet Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scout Posted May 31, 2006 Share Posted May 31, 2006 egad, you're right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daddy Bear Posted May 31, 2006 Share Posted May 31, 2006 I absolutely agree - but that is not what this particular thread was about. Please don't start another 'nice guy vs jerk debate - I haven't got over the last three hundred of those yet DN... i was having a really crappy day until i read that. now i have a stomach full of laughter... and you're right, this thread was about teacup saying she prefers a man to come to her, and she has the right to do that. i just hope she doesn't end up with a caveman who treats her like a bearskin rug, because she is a bright girl and deserves better than what she might catch with that kind of bait. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AwdreeHpburn Posted May 31, 2006 Share Posted May 31, 2006 i just hope she doesn't end up with a caveman who treats her like a bearskin rug, because she is a bright girl and deserves better than what she might catch with that kind of bait. I'm sayin'.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted May 31, 2006 Share Posted May 31, 2006 Sounds like a guilty till proven innocent standard - not one I would want to be subjected to - and when I meet a person with that negative mind set I run far far away. I totally agree with letting the man pursue - with few exceptions- but not because he needs to "prove" anything to me - I assume he can be trusted - although of course I am careful to set boundaries until I know him well, as I would with any person. I have met men (usually on first - and last - dates) who are suspicious of me even though they know nothing about me - because I am a woman, maybe I have the same color hair as an ex, maybe I have the same career as someone they had a crush on - I have no time to waste on such people - it's hard enough to connect positively - who needs to jump through hoops. When a man acts like a gentleman I appreciate it but since most of the time I am treated with respect and like a lady my reactions come from an initially positive mind set. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daddy Bear Posted May 31, 2006 Share Posted May 31, 2006 I have met men (usually on first - and last - dates) who are suspicious of me even though they know nothing about me - because I am a woman, maybe I have the same color hair as an ex, maybe I have the same career as someone they had a crush on uhhh, does anybody else here know a guy so stupid that he is suspicious of a woman because she is a woman, due to the color of her hair or based upon what her job happens to be? personally, i don't think that guy exists. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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