is a soul mate a real thing or made up?

[happyninja75]

im tired of looking or finding the wrong woman, im starting to think true love or soulmates dont exsist cause i was with a woman for three years and ingaged she left me for a internet guy, my point being what im looking for is a woman who likes to have fun and is commited and would be my bestfriend, im not to concerned with looks i do like skinny woman (sorry if that sounds shallow!) but someone to grow old with and enjoy the good times and work threw the bad, it just seems that it does not exsist and im tired of it. people just seem to care about them selfs now and thats it.

[dazedandconfusedbydestiny]

I believe in soul mates and true love.

[Double J]

Don't lose hope. You'll find a good woman again. I'm sorry for what happened to you - must have been really tough. Try to expand your social circle as much as possible. The more women you meet, the more you increases your chances in meeting a good woman. There are many out there, they're just not always easy to find.

[heloladies21]

Come on man, communicating with girls is a learnable skill just like any other. Go here and study up:

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[Dating Coach]

There is no such thing as a "soulmate". There are several billion people out there whom are of the opposite sex, and to think that there is only one person out there with whom you can be happy with... well that's just ridiculous.

 

What about people who were madly in love but one partner died in a freak accident? What if the surviving parter eventually met someone else. Did that person have two soulmates?

 

What about all of the people who are in bad marriages. Are they just unlucky that they were too stupid to notice their soulmate? Do they not have one?

 

The whole idea is silly. There are PLENTY of people with whom you can be compatable with, not just one.

[becallamjr]

There is no such thing as a "soulmate". There are several billion people out there whom are of the opposite sex, and to think that there is only one person out there with whom you can be happy with... well that's just ridiculous.

 

What about people who were madly in love but one partner died in a freak accident? What if the surviving parter eventually met someone else. Did that person have two soulmates?

 

What about all of the people who are in bad marriages. Are they just unlucky that they were too stupid to notice their soulmate? Do they not have one?

 

The whole idea is silly. There are PLENTY of people with whom you can be compatable with, not just one.

 

I agree with you only to a point. I agree that there are plenty of people out there who are compatable with each other. I believe that soulmate's exist, but I don't think we are all destined to find them. I think we go through life dating and having relationships and when a really good one comes along we settle. There are soulmate's out there, you may spend your entire life searching and never find them.

[teacup]

according to aristotle, the concept of soulmate is also why we have gays and lesbians.

 

but that is neither here nor there.

[chuck norris]

first off soul mates do exist. the reason i have been single for so long now is because i will not settle for second best.

 

all i can say is dont look for it. i know thats the cheesyist line in the world but it is so true..

just try your best to get on with what ever you do in life and it will happen.

 

for the people who think that soulmates dont exist then you have not been with the right person.

 

a soulmate is everything, a lover, a best friend, a drinking partner, what ever you want them to be. some one you can spend every waking second of your life with and your both having fun. my ex who i was with for over 6 years was my perfect soulmate we lived in eachothers pocket for that time.

it was ruined by exploring the 3sum side of things but we live and learn. we still stay in touch and still know each other inside out. and i know she will be some one that will be there for me and i for her. even though the intimate love side has gone we are still soulmates and know how each other works..

[Kevin T]

Chuck Norris is MY soul mate.

[Serendipity1607307077]

Chuck Norris is MY soul mate.

 

ROFL!!

 

Anyway, back on topic, I do think that there is someone who is your soulmate, someone that you are meant to be with, and someone you connect with.

 

Don't lose hope, there is someone out there for you!

[wlfpack81]

Deleted by user

[easyguy]

I don't believe in "soul mates", but I believe it is important to search for someone who makes you happy, and accepts you for who you are inside and out, no questions asked. Whether it was meant to be, who knows. Attraction is one of the most complicated things we humans can comprehend.

 

Don't get caught up in lingo or beliefs. Trust yourself and just remember that happiness is the key.

[rms8]

I don't believe in soulmates either. To think that we are searching our entire lives for the one and only person is tragic. What are the chances we'll actually find that person? What if that person lives halfway around the world?

 

I believe that there are several people in the world who you can live happily ever after with. Some people find them and never let them go and other's may find one but for whatever reason they are pulled apart (moving or something).

 

Don't put so much pressure on yourself to find THE ONE. Just try and relax and have an open mind and you just may find someone who makes you happier than you've ever been.

[Kevin T]

Don't put so much pressure on yourself to find THE ONE. Just try and relax and have an open mind and you just may find someone who makes you happier than you've ever been.

 

Then wouldn't THAT be "The One?"

 

(Not that that does me any good; I'll never find her anyway.)

[blueberrypie]

If you both felt that the other person is the best person you could ever be with but one person left the other person, does it count as a soulmate?

 

I think there are soulmate**s**, not just one soulmate. Or there can't be plural by definition?

[sadk]

I completely agree. I met my soulmate. We're not together now. I messed it up. But I know she's my soulmate. You know what we had in common? Everything. All the things we did together, they were the things we liked to do.

 

And I also don't believe you can find your soulmate. Not by looking. You see them in the corner of your eye. But if you turn to them, they're gone. Just get on with life. They are there. You'll maybe meet one day.

 

Sean

[blueberrypie]

Sean: so your definition of soulmate doesn't include 'meant-to-be-together?'

I met a guy who I believed is my soulmate. But we are not together now. We didn't fight or anything. He just had to be in a different place for 6 months. So we left the possibility after 6 months open. I hope we would be together then because, well, we are each other's soulmate. But isn't it true?

[AwdreeHpburn]

A "soul-mate" is just a term that means you've connected with someone and you really click with them.

 

And Yes, you WILL find someone, as soon as you get rid of the attitude, "I'll never find her anyway..."

[blueberrypie]

so, by definition, there could be more than one soulmate. But now it doesn't feel that special any more. Too pessimistic?

[AwdreeHpburn]

There can be and often is more than one "soul mate." In my opinion, that doesn't take away from the specialness at all.

 

People romanticise things way too often...

[sadk]

Sean: so your definition of soulmate doesn't include 'meant-to-be-together?'

I met a guy who I believed is my soulmate. But we are not together now. We didn't fight or anything. He just had to be in a different place for 6 months. So we left the possibility after 6 months open. I hope we would be together then because, well, we are each other's soulmate. But isn't it true?

 

BP

 

I do believe in meant-to-be-together. We're NOT together, but since we split, and it wasn't certain at the time if it would be forever, we have got together four times. Every single time was wonderful. Then we'd be apart and it was awful again. There's a human being involved though. I don't know what she's thinking. Maybe when one person loses themself (that would be me) the other soulmate sends them away to find themself. I do know that I'm a better person one year later than I would have been had I never met/lost her.

 

We're really great friends now, probably because we grew. Honestly, if we met today for the first time, I have no doubt we'd be heading for a life together. No doubt at all. And honestly, if she gave us a chance today (or tomorrow or next month) we'd be great together. The last time I brought this subject up was about six weeks ago. I left her with, "I believe we'll end up together. I don't care if it's now or in 10 years time, as long as you're there at the end." We had our problems. They're over now. We haven't had a fight

since the end of January. Then we had two months of pretty much NC. Then we started talking again. No fights. That was our big thing.

 

I'm not optimistic that we'll get back together because she said she didn't want that. But I am optimistic that she will open up to me more now, and that we will get along better than we did. I'm optimistic because I was the cause of 99% of the fights and because I've worked really hard and grown a lot. It's not just her I don't fight with. I have hardly any fights with anyone. So, I'm also optimistic that if she gives us a chance, it's gonna be great. And she is gonna be so happy.

 

Here's hoping.

 

Good luck with yours. When is the six months up?

 

Sean

[sadk]

so, by definition, there could be more than one soulmate. But now it doesn't feel that special any more. Too pessimistic?

 

I'm guessing you don't have kids. Each kid is special.

 

I have this theory that we're members of a soulmate club. It's like...

 

Hey, did you see any of the others?

Nope. You?

Nope. Just you.

 

I've only met one soulmate though. So, I could be wrong.

 

Sean

[blueberrypie]

sadk: I like both your analogies: kids and soulmate club.

it's gonna be six months in the middle December. But I don't think he would contact me immediately. He'll probably call me in Feb. So my waiting period will continue till then.

Good luck with yours, too. =)

[sadk]

BP, my ex had an even better analogy with kids. She said, "Is there anything that your son could ever do that would make you stop loving him? My gut feeling is that when you truly love a person...as in deep, soul-to-soul kind of love... you will always love them. You may not always be able to stay with them, however."

 

And that's where I believe we're at. She made a conscious decision that we could never be together because we fought too much. In fact, several times, she called for LC or NC. On Nov 30th last year, she wrote a goodbye e-mail to me: "As for me, I need to re-build a life of my own. I need to find my path, too. So I guess this is the point where I step off of your train. I still believe our paths will cross again someday. Until then, I wish you...god, so much. Take care, sweet man. I will miss you more than you probably know. Goodbye. Love, XXXXX"

 

I called her because I didn't want to say goodbye in e-mail. Then things seemed to be okay. I later apologized for something I'd said. Then she asked could she call me. This time she said she needed some time with NC. I told her to take it and that I wouldn't call her. I'd wait for her. She said it was going to be a while. She sounded terribly sad. I hunkered down. 48 hours later, she contacted me on Yahoo. Her daughter was sick and she was panicking. She took her to the hospital and called me an hour later. She said her daughter was okay and that we should talk that night. I asked about what. She said nothing, just talk. The NC was over.

 

But in January, she started dating someone. I don't think it lasted long, but it really hurt. She slept with him after three dates. I was devastated and went into a short depression. I asked for NC. I said I no longer trusted her. A couple of months later, I figured we could be friends. She replied that she didn't want that anymore. But a week later, she contacted me and NC was over.

 

We've been talking again for a little more than three months. Things have been fine, although I sometimes get a sense that if we get too close, she pulls away. But a couple of weeks ago, she got bad news about someone in her family. She called me on the Friday. I wasn't home. On Sunday, she contacted another ex who she knows I'm still friends with (we have a son together) and asked if she knew when I'd be getting home. So, I called her.

 

This time, I'd been away for a little more than a week, and she'd been calling me and leaving messages. We had a long chat, mostly catching up. Just a few minutes about the family member. Then she said she'd be passing through Montreal the next day and asked could she stay with me if I didn't think it was weird. We went to a movie and a book store and just had a great day (as friends). She was really really nice to me for a couple of days after she went back. Then she called me last Friday to give me an update on the bad news. Then said, "Can we talk about something else?" Like she needed to talk to me about any other subject -- not the bad news. That makes me feel like we're still close. And needed.

 

But she's gotta stick to her decision. We're not getting back together. Thing is, I KNOW she has other friends she could call. Yet, between Friday and Sunday night, she didn't find anyone else that lessened her need to talk with me about the bad news. And during the day/night we spent together, she leaned on me a lot for making decisions or walking her to her car, stuff like that. And she gave me a peck on the lips as she left. And she let me pay for her movie ticket. And in the crowded subway station, she thanked me for taking her hand to get us through the crowd. And she teased me a lot and hit me a lot. You know the kind of hitting I mean. The teasing kind and the "I'm about to say something" kind.

 

It's like her heart and soul reaches out to mine, then her stoic self pulls her back. So, I'm doing LC and just concentrating on the unselfish love I've learned because I love her and I care about her and if we do ever get back together, this is the way I want to love her. It also keeps me balanced to love someone this way, not expecting anything in return. She's really the most special person I've ever know, and the connection is perfect when the crapola is out of the way, and if nothing else, I hope we're friends for the rest of our lives. She's my soulmate.

 

Sean

[Anna.]

Oh ye of little faith. Don't get disheartened. If love was easy it wouldn't be any fun! Hang in there and be patient.