tylercdurden2004 Posted May 18, 2006 Share Posted May 18, 2006 for answers that is. My ex who I have not been in contact for 2 months now and told I did not want her to contact me, has in fact emailed me! She mentioned that she respected the fact that I didnt want her to contact me but feels she has some unanswered questions and that I may to. She said she didnt want to shock me wiht a call and left it for me to say whether she should call me or if I wanted to call her whenever. Now I feel quite neutral about all this in that I didnt get more than a twinge of "hmmmmm how do I respond to this." I didnt feel any over riding emotion towards her email. I dont know what she wants and there is only one way to find out. Yeah curiosity kills the cat, well if that was true I'd be dead ages ago. I dont know if she is wanting closure, to get back together etc. All I do know is that I am in control of myself and what happens to me and I have no problems listening to what she has to say. I responded by gently teasing her by being disrepectful for contacting me but admiring her tenacity. I straight out asked her specifically what she wants. I know that if I am going to have any contact with her it has to be straight up without talking in tongues. I have learned a lot from the break up and being on here has brought me to the following conclusions: 1) A relationship is the rational part of love. That is: its fine to love someone, anyone for that matter but whether you should be with them has to make sense. At least for a healthy relationship. 2) Setting boundaries and setting them sooner than later is soooo important for healthy relationships. 3) People can say anything and everything but its their actions that matter the most. People whos actions are not congruant with they feelings and principles are not worth the head ache. Now my personality is one where I actually enjoy the unknown and the quest for knowledge. I fell excited that this will give me something to learn and provide me with some sort of new knowledge. I dont howver have any expectations as to what this will bring. It feels good to not have any expectations, a sense of relief. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tylercdurden2004 Posted May 18, 2006 Author Share Posted May 18, 2006 4. Hindsight is 20-20 Yup. And last time I went to the doc he told me my vision is 20/30. Yikes man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DN Posted May 18, 2006 Share Posted May 18, 2006 Yep - low expectations is a good idea. Let us know what she wants. p.s. What happened to Dako's post? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tylercdurden2004 Posted May 18, 2006 Author Share Posted May 18, 2006 Yep - low expectations is a good idea. Let us know what she wants. p.s. What happened to Dako's post? Dunno maybe he got scared? Yeah I am very interested to see what she has to say regarding what she wants. Wont know until we get there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dako Posted May 18, 2006 Share Posted May 18, 2006 I thought better of it. Seemed a bit crass in some way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tylercdurden2004 Posted May 18, 2006 Author Share Posted May 18, 2006 I thought better of it. Seemed a bit crass in some way. I personally didnt find it crass at all. Maybe I have a high tolerance for "crassiness". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DN Posted May 18, 2006 Share Posted May 18, 2006 It's just when people delete a post that others have already responded to it can be puzzling trying to make sense of what has been said. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dako Posted May 18, 2006 Share Posted May 18, 2006 I'll clean up my overly caffienated act. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BONO Posted May 18, 2006 Share Posted May 18, 2006 It's just when people delete a post that others have already responded to it can be puzzling trying to make sense of what has been said. The "challenging" concept of visual NC ( No Comment) eh ?? Scruff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starfall Posted May 18, 2006 Share Posted May 18, 2006 I'm dying here..... What does she want!!!! I must know. lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DN Posted May 18, 2006 Share Posted May 18, 2006 I'll clean up my overly caffienated act. LOL - maybe cut back to one pot a day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CarnelianButterfly Posted May 18, 2006 Share Posted May 18, 2006 I'll clean up my overly caffienated act. I kinda like you on your over caffienated state. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamteddybearfeelmecuddle Posted May 18, 2006 Share Posted May 18, 2006 Well, look at it this way, if you were doing this NC thing with the hope of getting back together, maybe things have changed. Hopefully it will work out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tylercdurden2004 Posted May 18, 2006 Author Share Posted May 18, 2006 Well, look at it this way, if you were doing this NC thing with the hope of getting back together, maybe things have changed. Hopefully it will work out. No hope of getting back together at all actually. I just want to get on with my life and do the things I need to do get my career going along with other aspects of my life. These things I have been successful at well aside from the career thing so far. I have no expectation and one thing I have learned over the last 2 months is to be more picky! Ie setting boundaries and choosing someone who I am compatible with or otherwise stay single. We were compatible in a lot of ways but we are at different stages in our lives I feel. So who knows. Its merely an interesting opportunity to learn something new. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamteddybearfeelmecuddle Posted May 18, 2006 Share Posted May 18, 2006 No hope of getting back together at all actually. I just want to get on with my life and do the things I need to do get my career going along with other aspects of my life. These things I have been successful at well aside from the career thing so far. I have no expectation and one thing I have learned over the last 2 months is to be more picky! Ie setting boundaries and choosing someone who I am compatible with or otherwise stay single. We were compatible in a lot of ways but we are at different stages in our lives I feel. So who knows. Its merely an interesting opportunity to learn something new. Yeah, actually it sounds like you have a good plan tyler. But I know in the past I've been compatible with people who I wouldn't be today. I guess it takes a while to learn who you are and what you want sometimes. And maybe that's not a bad thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tylercdurden2004 Posted May 18, 2006 Author Share Posted May 18, 2006 Yeah, actually it sounds like you have a good plan tyler. But I know in the past I've been compatible with people who I wouldn't be today. I guess it takes a while to learn who you are and what you want sometimes. And maybe that's not a bad thing. Well no plan in particular in fact. Just know what I want. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now