Anyone in love with someone who can't satisfy them sexually?

[ScaredFawn]

Hi all.......

I am in a relationship with the most incredible woman. She is amazing, she is everything I have ever wanted. I have always believed I was a lesbian, but now I am questionning a lot... We have never had a satisfying sex life, she doesn't really like sex. So Ive been frustrated for a long time. After getting off birth control for acne my sexual urges became very physical and I feel so much frustration and tension that I dont know if I can stay with her, but she is such an amazing woman and I love her to death I don't know what to do, it's tearing me apart. I love her so much! But my physical needs are such that I constantly have a tight throat and a knot in my stomach... What could I do? Don't tell me relationships arent only about sex, I KNOW THAT! And I do love her, but its a physical need like hunger, and I need that part to feel close to her and in love with her... anyone else in my situation?

[sir sirloin]

she doesn't really like sex

I think that is a problem and you need to take that into account when you consider your relationship. I personally couldn't be with someone who didn't enjoy sex (at least with me).

 

If she doesn't like sex is she physicly affectionate in other ways like kissing or touching?

[Meow18]

Is she ever willing to have sex?

 

Do you talk to each other about sex? Maybe there's a reason she doesn't like it so much. Maybe she's not ready?

 

You do have needs. And it's important that your needs get met. But the first thing to do is find out the main problem about why she doesn't want sex.

 

Sex can be an important part of a relationship, when BOTH people are ready. And both people want it.

[CluelessGuy321]

You need a guy to act as a medium between you two - ie. "gang banging".

 

I would suggest you find a nice honest young man (ie. me) to partake in these activities to make sure that both parties involved are satisfied.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Or maybe communicate with her and go buy a book or somethnig. I suggest my first idea though.

[ElektraHere]

Scared ~ Your post have all been about this very thing. Perhaps your relationship with this woman is supposed to be a deep friendship and not a romantic one. You may have to come to the realization that she would be better as a friend then a lover. My friend was in that same place. She was in a relationship with a man whom she loved and cared for but the sex just wasnt there. The connection on that level was nil. She ended up breaking things off because even though sex isnt everything it does fit in the eqation of a healthy and successful relationship.

[Ash]

Just because you are not having a satisfying sexual relationship with this particular person doesn't necessarily mean you should be questioning your sexuality and orientation.

 

Being an a relationship this is both physically and emotionally strong is very important to a lot of people. Don't discount the sexual side of it. She's not quite everything you ever wanted if the physical side just isn't there, there might actually be somebody who is all that she is, and the parts that she isn't.

 

It can be a really difficult decision, but you are young and you really need to be doing some in-depth examination to discover if you can afford to live your life (at least for the foreseeable future) with this unfulfilled want. If you can talk to her about it I truly think you should. It's something you need to get out on the table and up for discussion as you are making decisions based on how you feel. Currently, the decision has always been to stay. One day perhaps it will have to be a decision that sees you leaving. She needs to know that as well.

 

You should be happy in your life. If you aren't, at some point in the future you will truly regret how things have been. Please consider that and as some other posters have suggested, if there is not a indication that you will be satisfied in all ways in your relationship, perhaps you will have to move on.