Help me please!! I need some advice on my screw up.

[mandy74a]

O.K. I dated a man for almost 7 years. Our relationship was from the time I was 14-21. I was young and so was he. He was a year older than me. We couldn't connect. He never wanted to be intimate with me or show me affection, in fact he was damn controlling. I didn't work because he had a great job so I played Susie homemaker. We became engaged and bought a beautiful house in the subs and had a dog and blah blah blah. All the material things. Well I eventually got a job and decided to leave and venture off. I moved into my bosses apartment building and started dating this wonderful guy from work. Well, it was to soon. Me and my ex talked and seen eachother basically on a regular basis. I couldn't let go even though I knew he wasn't the one for me. We never were romantic, but I would tell my new guy how confused I was that I needed to give it one more chance and would break up with him, get back together. He proposed to me, I accepted. Broke it off, got back together. He stayed with me in my apartment and out of the year and six months we dated, at least once a month I would go through a time where I would see my ex. Never did I think about my new mans feelings. I will admit that. But he never stopped me and he let me do what I had to do because he said he understood. I was to selfish thinking of my own and how my ex had more to offer. But he didn't offer me any love and this new man did. Well to make a long story short, I messed up big time. I needed to quit my job and move out of my bosses apartment. I had no where else to go, I MEAN NO WHERE, so me and my new guy talked and agreed I should stay with my ex until our apartment was ready. I had no one else to turn to, so I did. Well it is now three months later and me and the new guy have still talked and kept our relationship as strong as we could. He knows I love him and only him, and I have been completely faithful. But all of this has got to him. I was supposed to move in last weekend, and he told me out of no where that he didn't want to be with me anymore. I did not realize how much I loved him until then. It has been only four days, but I can't live without him. I begged him and promised him I would never talk to my ex again, but he said no way I hurt him to bad. And I did. But he also is telling me that I could stay with him until I get back on my feet just to get away from my ex. And he also says " I don't know what the future holds" in regards to me and him working it out. I am a good person contrary to this. I love this man and would do ANYTHING for one last chance to prove and show him how much I am sorry and love him. Does anyone have any advice or insight to give me on this. Should I move in with him? Do you think he can forgive me and work on this? I appreciate your replys. I really need someone right now because I have no one. There is so much more to this story but this is the problem basically at hand. HELP. He is confusing me and I just want to be with him and only him. How do I prove it?

[overcorrect]

Wow, just recently I heard the same "I don't know what the future holds" in regard to me and my ex-girlfriend. This has been some time now since we broke up and after careful consideration I can say that I believe someone says this because - well, they don't know what the future holds. My belief is the reason anyone says this is because there is still feelings there but there are some issues that have to be resolved first. I believe that what they are trying to convey to us is this... "I'm not real sure (or I'm afraid of) what my feelings are for you and I want to do my own thing, but, I'm not ready to let you go completely just yet so I want to keep that door open." I could be wrong and in a way I think it's somewhat selfish for someone to treat someone that way but sometimes, love is selfish. I also believe someone says this when the timing isn't right or major obstacles stand in the way of a relationship. I believe they say this to protect themselves emotionally. The thing he needs to understand is from what you have said, you are done with your ex... he needs to see "proof" that you are done by you NOT ever seeing him or talking to him again. Only after he sees proof (i.e. after you stay with him and you don't speak to your ex) do I think that he will consider that the obstacle is truly gone. Then he can "see what the future holds."